Study Shows That A Child’s Spirituality Is The Number One Factor In their Happiness

Dr. Mark Holder, a psychology professor at The University of British Columbia, led a study to determine what factors have the greatest influence on a child’s happiness. He and his team surveyed more than 300 children ages 9 to 12. The researchers also asked the parents and teachers of the children to rate their happiness.

The result? In Dr. Holder’s own words, “The more spiritual the children were, the happier they were.”

Perhaps you’re thinking, “That’s great. We take our children to church and read Bible stories to them”. Yes, that is helpful but it’s not what the survey was focused on. In fact, the Doctor said that religious activities such as going to church didn’t seem to make a difference in a child’s happiness level.

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Are We There Yet?

This little family road trip question has become so iconic, that it’s become common fodder for comic routines and movie scripts. I would imagine that this travel question has been around as long as families have been traveling. It’s probably a good thing that all of Noah’s sons were full-grown, or Mr. and Mrs. Noah may have ended up sinking the boat.

Think about the Israelite’s trek through the wilderness. After crossing the Red Sea, they got to the edge of the Promised Land quite quickly, but because they didn’t trust God and refused to go in, God sent them on a forty-year road trip. The idea was that all of the adults who refused to believe, were to die before their children would be allowed in. Can you imagine the conversation, “Are we there yet? Am I dead yet?”

I’ve always wondered why the Israelites didn’t understand that God wanted to have a relationship with them. Moses was the leader but he wasn’t supposed to be the only one talking to God. Instead of whining and complaining, why not call a prayer meeting and ask God just how they were going to conquer a land full of giants and well-fortified cities. They had God’s presence right there, represented by a huge cloud, so you’d think that a little more conversation and a little less groaning would have been a better idea.

Out of that story comes the parenting advice key that we need to solve the age old problem of, “Are we there yet?’ When our kid’s under developed ability to understand time and distance starts to affect the small amount of patience and attention span they have, they can respond in two ways. Like the Israelites, they can start whining and complaining, or they can start a conversation with you.

If they choose to do the right thing, you’ll most likely hear the dreaded four-letter question. Here’s how to turn it into a positive experience.

View the question not as an irritant but as your child doing the right thing and opening up a dialogue with you. Grab the opportunity to not only engage in conversation and strengthen your relationships but to teach your children about conversation.

Children don’t learn conversational skills by osmoses, we need to teach them. The reason they ask the same question over and over is because they want information from you and interaction with you (that’s conversation) but the only conversational tool they have is the basic ‘question.’

Try this, first make sure you explain (very simply) where you are going and how they’ll know when you’re there. Then ask them if they understand. Now that the answer is out of the way, continue the conversation. Ask them how they’re feeling, or about the backseat activities their involved in, etc. As the conversation moves forward, praise them for starting a conversation and for what conversational skills they are practicing well. Then give them a tip about how to get better like, don’t use one word answers and here’s a beauty, don’t ask the same question twice.

Each time you do this, you’ll find that after awhile, your child will feel satisfied that they are included, that they’ve gotten some of your attention and they’ll return to their quiet activities. If the same question comes up again, remind them of their wonderful conversational skills and help them find another question with which to start a conversation with you. Then follow through with more conversation.

Road trips and questions like “Are we there yet,” are actually great opportunities for teaching our children skills that will benefit them their whole life. It will also make your family trips more pleasant as you grow closer to your children.

If you’re looking for a great Christian family resource to help make the travel time more pleasant and help your children learn more about their faith, check out the best selling ‘Singing Bible.’

It has been highly recommended by thousands of parents for use in the car.

(RICK OSBORNE / Christian Author, Speaker & Bible Teacher)

It is not enough to hate hatred

This is the seventh and final post in the series: “What does the Bible say about sibling rivalry and how can I get my kids to get along?”

We started out this sibling rivalry series by establishing that what the world says is normal in family relationships, is not what God wants for Christian families.

The world says that sibling rivalry, rebellious teenagers, kids and parents not getting along and family fighting are all part of normal family life.

However, Jesus himself said that the two greatest commands were to love God and to love others and that all of God’s law is summed up in these two commands. Christian love is a foundation of our Faith and teaching it, is a core Christian parenting skill. Read more

What does the Bible say about sibling rivalry and how can I get my kids to get along? (Part 6)

Can you figure out which Biblical relationship principle you can discuss with your children by watching this video together?

In the 5th chapter of Ephesians, Paul begins his teaching on different kinds of relationships. He begins with marriage, moves on to parents and children and finishes up with what today would be somewhat applicable to the employer/employee relationship.

He begins his instruction by laying a simple foundation that applies to all relationships, “…submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (verse 21) Read more

Our Father Who Art The One Who Pays For Our Collect Calls

I wanted to write something for Father’s Day that would encourage Dad’s and cause all of us to reflect more thankfully on the efforts of our own fathers. I started by looking for a wonderful ‘Hallmark-type’ quote that would set the tone. In the process I found that many of the things I wanted to say have already been said, and said well. Which is easy to understand since the first Father’s Day celebration reportedly happened ninety-eight years ago on July 5,1908.

The story goes that in West Virginia only two months prior to this event the first Mother’s Day had been celebrated. In the previous December a nearby mine explosion had taken the lives of 361 men, many of them fathers. A lady named Grace Golden Clayton inspired by either or both of these events, suggested that a special service should be held to honor fathers.

The first “June” Father’s Day was celebrated on June 19, 1910 in Spokane Washington. Mrs. Sonora Smart Dodd was the driving force behind the celebration. She was inspired by Anna Jarvis’s efforts in establishing Mother’s Day and wanted to honor her father who had reared her and her five siblings as a single dad.

Since the first Father’s Day celebrations, a lot has been written about fatherhood. So I thought it appropriate to merely share some of what has already been said, humorous and inspirational.

“A father is a guy who has pictures in his wallet where his money used to be.” (Unknown)

“Any man can be a Father but it takes someone special to be a dad.” (Anne Geddes)

“When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon, ‘Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?’ He answered, ‘If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you.’” (Jerry Lewis)

“A man’s children and his garden both reflect the amount of weeding done during the growing season”. (Unknown)

“There are three stages of a man’s life: He believes in Santa Claus, he doesn’t believe in Santa Claus, he is Santa Claus.” (Unknown)

“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.” (Mark Twain)

“A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty.” (Unknown)

“A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he’s in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.” (Bill Cosby)

“There’s something like a line of gold thread running through a man’s words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself.” (John Gregory Brown)

“My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.” (Jim Valvano)

“One night a father heard his son pray: Dear God, Make me the kind of man my Daddy is. Later that night, the Father prayed, Dear God, Make me the kind of man my son wants to be.” (Unknown)

And one last quote…

“A young boy’s definition of Father’s Day: It’s just like Mother’s Day only you don’t spend so much.” (Unknown)

According to snopes.com, before the current communications revolution, in one given year 83 million calls were made on Father’s Day and 106 million were made on Mother’s Day. However 27% more of the Father’s Day calls were collect.

Mother’s Day came first and it apparently still does, but we should all be thankful for Grace Clayton and Mrs. Dodd who believed that fathers should be honored.

In closing, I would add that perhaps everything about fatherhood has already been said but the words of love and appreciation that need to be said to our fathers can never all be said. In every father/child relationship it is often the smallest things that we do and say that mean the most and linger the longest. Those things don’t take long and don’t cost much, especially if you make the call collect.

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!

If you have any wonderful stories to add to this blog about what makes your father a great dad, please share them to inspire and encourage others.

(RICK OSBORNE / Christian Author, Speaker & Bible Teacher)

What does the Bible say about sibling rivalry and how can I get my kids to get along? (Part 5)

This blog contains a key Christian Parenting principle that I guarantee (if employed) will go a long way to ending sibling rivalry and establishing your home sweet home.

What would you say are two things that are most often at the core of a sibling battle? Let me give you a few whining and complaining hints, “Dad, he won’t share,” Mom, she’s wearing my clothes again.” And next, “She hit me” and “He won’t leave me alone.”

There are many answers to the question I posed but most of us would agree that fighting over things and unwanted physical contact are huge aggravators in sibling relationships.

Jesus taught what has now become known as the Golden Rule, treat others the way that you would like to be treated. (Matt 7:12)

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What does the Bible say about sibling rivalry and how can I get my kids to get along? (Part 4)

In my last blog we talked about the benefits of getting up and going to the current household hotspot as soon as the sibling rivalry starts to heat up. This gives us the opportunity to do some effective in-the-middle-of-life Christian parenting which will take us closer to the home sweet home we desire.

If you’ve had the family meeting (we covered that in part two of this series) and you’ve decided to overcome the temptation to follow the armchair fling parenting style, then you’re ready to get moving.

Okay, the squabbling has started and you’re up and going. You have a few seconds of travel time to do two things, first remember the Third Parent and pray for parenting wisdom and help. Next (really valuable parenting tip) slow down and make sure you arrive on the scene calm. Read more