If it breathes, hug it

A much quoted marriage and family therapist said, “For human beings, you need two hugs a day to survive, four hugs for maintenance, six hugs to grow.” All kinds of research have been done on human touch and hugging, and the overwhelming data screams at us, “Go hug somebody!”

I have to give credit to my oldest daughter for bringing the application of “moment” parenting to our family.  She had heard the above quote, or a similar one, and set her personal daily hug-giving minimum at seven.  She also kept track of her daily-high hug score, which has, at times, reached unbelievable numbers. As a result, it’s very difficult to come near her without feeling sincerely cared for.

Because of her wonderful obsession, I made a habit out of hugging all of my children every time I passed them in the house, or whenever they came into hugging range. Don’t get me wrong; I hugged my children before, but basically only when it was called for. But now, whenever any of my children enter my personal space or my hug zone, they get hugged.

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Curious Moments

“Dad, why did God make me?”

“Dad, why can’t we go to heaven to see what it’s like, then come back home?”

“Dad, if God wants us to get to know Him, why doesn’t He let us see Him?”

All of the above are questions that my children have asked me. Why do I remember those out of all the questions they have ever asked? Well, because trying to answer those three questions is not something you easily forget.

Over the years, I’ve discovered that as difficult as some of my children’s questions are, taking the time to answer them is the most time-effective way to teach them. When children ask a question, all of their learning receptors are turned up to full. They’re curious. They’re thinking about it. They’re truly listening. They want to hear what you have to say. Taking a few moments to answer their questions can be more effective than hour-long sermons or lectures.

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Manner moments

“That wasn’t a polite thing to say.” “Say ‘please.’ ” “Don’t forget your thank you’s!” “And what do you say?” “We don’t do that at the table!”

There are points in our parenting career when it seems like every second or third sentence gets invested in the quest for mannerly children. We’ve all been embarrassed (and we have the stories!) by our children while they were learning manners. We’ve also all been proud when they got it right and some stranger has commented on what polite children we have. Have you ever had the tables, or the table manners, turned on you? I have.

When my children were younger, I spent time teaching them that kindness in intent and tone should be the rule that governs all of our speech. To remind them when their speech to one of their siblings strayed from the kindness rule, I would gently but pointedly add a storybook quote to the end of their speech. After they fired off, I’d instantly say, “-she [or he] said in a kind and gentle voice.”

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Nim’s Island

SYNOPSIS: Based on the popular children’s novel of the same name by Wendy Orr, NIM’S ISLAND follows the adventures of Nim Rusoe, a spirited young girl who lives on a remote island with her scientist dad, Jack, and a host of animal companions, including an iguana, a sea lion, and a sea turtle. Nim’s idyllic life gets shaken up, however, when her father goes missing while on an ocean outing.

GENRES: Science-Fiction/Fantasy

TIME: 1 hr 36 mins

RATED: PG for mild adventure action and brief language

 

OUR THOUGHTS ON THIS MOVIE

(Recommended Age Group: all ages)

Nim’s Island is a very pleasant story that the whole family can enjoy together.

Although there’s nothing all that objectionable in the movie it’s perhaps what’s not in the movie that’s more important. Let me explain. This is a story where against all odds, amazing events collide and everything works out perfectly. Now we all know it’s just a movie so we can all agree to suspend reality a bit, right? Right, but the fairytale like storyline provides a wonderful opportunity to talk about what’s missing and that’s prayer.

Talk with your kids about the total absence of prayer in this movie. Point out that in real life things just don’t all magically work together for a happy ending . Life events, left to themselves tend to be very random and uncoordinated. However in Romans 8:28 the Apostle Paul tells us that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

Even though this movie does not contain prayer, it illustrates the kind of things that can take place when we love, obey and trust God. Movies like this kind of infer that something like fate is lending a hand because this girl needs or deserves it. In truth, there is no impersonal power called fate that lends a hand to those who need it. However our very personal and loving Heavenly Father has promised to help us through rough times and work everything out as we love and follow him. And since he knows everything, is everywhere and can do anything, he truly is qualified and able to make every little detail of any real life story work out wonderfully.

When discussing this with your family, you might want to tell them about a time or two where you prayed and saw God work out the details.

As a bonus discussion, the movie has a Jonah like plot device that involves a blue whale swallowing someone. You could use the opportunity to talk about Jonah. Nim’s Island tells the story like it’s a children’s tale and obviously not meant to be factual. However the story of Jonah is actual history, it really happened. It is impossible for a blue whale to swallow something that large but the Bible doesn’t say that it was specifically a whale, it says great fish. There are a couple of sea creatures that God could have used. For information to fuel a great discussion with your kids check out these links.

http://www.answersingenesis.org/creation/v17/i2/jonah.asp

http://www.christiananswers.net/q-eden/edn-t004.html

Parents Movie Guide

The back of each DVD box at many movie rental places has a ‘Parent’s Guide.’ The guide generally has four categories: Sex/Nudity, Drugs/Alcohol, Violence/Scariness and Objectionable Words/Phrases. Following each category is a brief description of what could be objectionable.

The idea, of course, is to help parents judge if the movie is suitable or not. Although I appreciate having this information, it is not all I need to make a decision. As Christians, we need a few more categories like ‘The Moral of The Story’, ‘World View’ and/or perhaps ‘Worldly/Non Christian Ideas and Behavior Supported as Right and Normal.’

Take as an example the hit family flick that started Disney’s animated movie comeback, ‘The Little Mermaid’. Most parents of very young children scan the rating (also based on the above mentioned categories) and plug it in thinking that their job is done. There’s no swearing, nudity or drugs but wait, what is the movie teaching with its storyline and character development? In the original book version the Little Mermaid dies in the end and although that’s a bit of a downer, the moral of the story is abundantly clear.

In the movie version, Ariel disobeys her Father and does things she knows that she shouldn’t in order to get what she wants. Yet in the end she gets her ‘happily ever after’ and her Dad is the one who is painted with the brush of wrong doing.

Now I’m not saying don’t let your kids watch the movie but I am saying that we as Christian parents need to watch what our children are watching and talk with them about things that contradict and undermine what the Bible teaches.

So the purpose of ‘Movie Night Ideas’ on this website is to equip you with the tools and ideas you need to engage your children in meaningful conversation about the movies you watch. Sometimes we’ll take on new movies and sometimes we’ll talk about old favorites. Either way, we’ll try and be the Christian extension to the ‘Parent’s Guide’ on the back of each DVD box.

Please click on a below movie to read Christian Parenting Daily’s “Parents Movie Guide”.

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Kung Fu Panda

Nim’s Island

Speed Racer

Toy Story 3

Wall-E