If it breathes, hug it

A much quoted marriage and family therapist said, “For human beings, you need two hugs a day to survive, four hugs for maintenance, six hugs to grow.” All kinds of research have been done on human touch and hugging, and the overwhelming data screams at us, “Go hug somebody!”

I have to give credit to my oldest daughter for bringing the application of “moment” parenting to our family.  She had heard the above quote, or a similar one, and set her personal daily hug-giving minimum at seven.  She also kept track of her daily-high hug score, which has, at times, reached unbelievable numbers. As a result, it’s very difficult to come near her without feeling sincerely cared for.

Because of her wonderful obsession, I made a habit out of hugging all of my children every time I passed them in the house, or whenever they came into hugging range. Don’t get me wrong; I hugged my children before, but basically only when it was called for. But now, whenever any of my children enter my personal space or my hug zone, they get hugged.

The effect on the atmosphere of our home and my relationship with my children has been astounding. I feel more loved by my children, and I know they feel more loved by me. It’s one thing to love and care for someone; it’s another thing to demonstrate it. Of course, the best way to demonstrate it is by doing things for the ones you love. However we can fit only so many sacrificial acts into each relationship. We therefore need to fill in all the gaps with hugs.

You probably cannot find another thing in which to invest a few seconds that will give you the kind of return that a hug will. Share the therapist’s quote with your family and let the hugging begin.