I sometimes think the decision to avoid having children is a copout to avoid growing up and maturing into another phase of life (I’m not speaking to those that can’t have children, etc.). I’m just saying that most of the ones I’ve known that have that mentality are very self-centered and don’t want the focus of their life to shift off of them. They truly are missing out on a lot of joy.

We’ve known of people that will dump off their kids at church, family’s houses, etc. so they can go on vacations, go golfing or wherever. They wind up spending so little time with their children because they expect their kids to just adjust to their every whim and desire. They are not allowed to do a lot of things most kids do because its inconvenient for the parents, but they are expected to act like little adults. Their children are often irritating, selfish and demanding. I think this selfish, self-absorbed attitude goes a long way in determining how your children will behave, and ultimately whether you enjoy parenting, at all. I think a lot of parents view their children as the problem, when their children are merely reflecting the parenting (or lack thereof).

Yes, there are times when it is inconvenient and frustrating, but those are the best times to learn. Having children is an awesome responsibility, but the rewards are tremendous and far outweigh the investment and time put in to raising them (and our oldest is only six!). As a parent, I’ve noticed how much I’ve matured and been able to do things I never would have imagined myself doing. I think God really does use parenting as a way to mature us as Believers as well as teaching our children through us (if we let Him use us).

Bottom line (like my wife says): “I love you enough that I don’t want you acting like that.”

It takes effort, but believe me, it’s well worth it.