If our experience is not what God wants it to be, it is because of our unbelief in the love of God, in the power of God and in the reality of God’s promises. (Andrew Murray)

Here are two renditions of a portion of the Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 6:9-12) with very different perspectives on who God is. They are not meant to be a theological exploration of the meaning of the words in their original Greek. Rather, they illustrate that how we pray and what we expect from our relationship with God will reflect who we – and our children – believe God is, and what we believe him to be like.

“Our perfect, caring, and loving Father, who is in heaven – a place that reflects your character, a place that is wonderfully beautiful, where there is nothing sad or evil, only happiness, love, peace, and joy. May your name be honored because you are so great and so good that everyone should know you and experience your love. Let your awesome and perfect kingdom, full of right and happiness, come here on earth and set people free to be with you and to be loved by you. Let your will for the perfect peace, happiness, and complete fulfillment of your people be done here on earth just like it is now where you are in heaven – that beautiful place where your people know you, are like you, love each other perfectly, and enjoy everything you’ve made for them. Please meet our needs today and take care of us as you always do so wonderfully. Forgive us our mistakes and imperfections as we receive your grace to grow, and as we love, accept, and forgive the people you’ve so wonderfully placed in our lives….”

“Our all-seeing Father, who is far away in heaven. Holy and beyond what we can understand or relate to is your name. Your kingdom come, to squash all who refuse to obey you. Your will be imposed on everyone, like it is in heaven, where everyone finally has to be perfect. Please give us some bread today, so we don’t starve. (I don’t want to bother you with more than that.) Please forgive me my sins (don’t let me end up in the hot place) as I forgive the rotten sinners around me….”

It’s crucial: We must teach our children who God is, what he’s like, and what he is willing to do for them. That will affect how they pray. If our children don’t believe that God loves them, or if they somehow get the idea that he is always judging them to see if they measure up, the mechanics of prayer will not matter; the relationship and results won’t come. We need to teach them who God is and that he acts according to his character.

Three truths we can teach our children are: God loves them (1 John 4:16), is trustworthy (Psalm 9:10), and will forgive if they do something wrong (1 John 1:9). God is not a formidable judge; He’s a loving tutor who understands our weaknesses, loves us completely, will always encourage us beyond our failures, and will never give up on us.

God created us to be in relationship with himself. He wants us to know him, know what he is like, and receive his love.

When our children really understand who God is and what he’s willing to do for them, they won’t have a problem building a relationship with God and getting their prayers answered.

Here are two key verses that focus on the great love God has for us that you can read with your kids.

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! (1 John 3:1)

He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all – how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? (Romans 8:32)

I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that there are times when your marriage isn’t always as great as you’d like it to be.

In my family, we have 3 very active children, a fourth one on the way, a family-run business, and we homeschool. Finding time to spend alone with my wife is a bit challenging.

Yet I know for an absolute fact that the times when I take her out on dates and give her my complete, undivided attention and focus means more to her… and to our marriage… than almost anything else I could do.

I know this because she has told me so… more than once.

All the flowers, chocolate, jewelry, movies, or anything else I “buy” for her don’t even come close to the love she feels from me when I simply give her my time and focused attention. It makes her feel valued and cherished by me.

One of the best dates we’ve ever had was exactly like this. Since Valentine’s Day is coming up,  I asked her to briefly share about it. (The book she mentions is called My Wife Journal, and I highly recommend it no matter what stage of marriage you are at.)

“This is what I can tell you from my heart. I will always remember our date on a cold winter night.

Thank you for dazzling me with something more beautiful than diamonds and much more significant than flowers!”

Fellow Dad, I can’t tell you enough how much my wife appreciated this date. I hope this encourages you in your marriage. 

You can learn more about the “My Wife Journal” here.

Blessings on your marriage,
Joey Watkins Founder, FamilyDads

PS – Don’t forget, Valentine’s Day is February 14th! 

FamilyDads is a dad-founded and dad-focused organization committed to helping dads prioritize and lead their families. Learn more at http://www.FamilyDads.com ]]> http://christianparentingdaily.com/2009/02/03/best-date-ever-by-joey-watkins/feed/ 0 http://christianparentingdaily.com/2009/02/03/jesus-laughing/ http://christianparentingdaily.com/2009/02/03/jesus-laughing/#comments Tue, 03 Feb 2009 22:27:47 +0000 Christian Parenting Daily http://christianparentingdaily.com/?p=1098 The Greatest Mission Trip You’ll Ever Take

Jesus Laughing
Posted: 31 Jan 2009 04:38 AM CST

My Aunt Linda emailed these images to me. In the email it said that some people went to visit a seminary in Florida and found a man sketching large images of Jesus in about 30-45 minutes. The artist preferred anonymity, stating that he wanted the images to speak for themselves. If you’re able to zoom in, you’ll see that the drawings are signed, “Jesus Painter”.

I find them beautiful beyond words. This is what the ministry at TGMT is all about – bringing our children into the love and light of Jesus Christ so they can come into relationship with Him. go to article…

Daniel’s life and the details surrounding it fascinate me. This man of God, full of deep integrity and wisdom, wrote some of the most detailed and much-studied prophecies in the Bible.

As a teenager, Daniel was uprooted from his home and taken as a captive to Babylon. He ended up in the royal court after the king ordered several young Israelite captives of noble birth to be brought to the palace (Daniel 1:3). Until the time Daniel was taken captive, he evidently grew up in either the royal family or in a very influential home.

Daniel was a young boy when the very godly Josiah ruled Judah. So since Daniel probably grew up in an influential family during Josiah’s reign, he likely was raised with spiritual training and with a godly world view.

Daniel and three other teenage Israelites were taken to the king’s court to get a Babylonian education. All four of the boys received Babylonian names. Daniel was called Belteshazzar; the name hints at the purpose of his education. “El” at the end of Daniel’s name refers to God. “Bel” at the beginning of his new name referred to a Babylonian god. Daniel and his friends were to be educated not only in regular school topics like literature, but they were to be trained to think and view the world, in every way, as the Babylonians did.

In other words, they attended a school similar to those where many Christians send their children to get educated today. Our public schools don’t only strive to give children a God-neutral education; very often they contradict what Christians believe.

Some contend that it’s our job to stand up, be counted, and change all of this. I wouldn’t disagree, but I’d like to point out something even more fundamental: it’s not the governments job to ensure that our children get the right intellectual or spiritual education – that’s our job. Government schooling should aid us in getting the job done, of course, but when we recognize the task as ours, we no longer resign ourselves to the status quo, but instead do what we can to fill in the gaps and right the wrongs in our own child’s education.

If your child is gifted in music, for example, you many conclude that the music program at her school is just not enough. So what do you do? You take control and get her involved in community or private lessons outside of school. Or if you or another family member has musical abilities then some training at home.

In the same way, if your children attend public school and are being taught things contrary to the truth, then it’s your responsibility to fix the problem. You may consider it a civic responsibility to help change things on a political level, but while you’re doing that, it’s also your parental responsibility to change it for your child, whether it changes for everyone else or not.

Fortunately, Daniel and his three friends had been well educated in Judah before their exile to Babylon. Not only had they learned what was right, but they also learned (at the very least from what Josiah did) about the dangers of the pagan religions that Josiah worked so hard to eradicate. This would have prepared the four young men to learn, discern, and understand everything they were taught in light of God’s truth.

In Babylon they learned about practices God had forbidden, such as astrology and divination. They didn’t refuse to learn about these subjects, but they did recognize them for what they were and refused to practice them. When it came to interpreting dreams or predicting the future, Daniel didn’t follow the ways of the Babylonian magicians; he went to God.

We need to prepare our children by educating them in the truth so that when their instructors teach something wrong, they know it and know what the real truth is.

Does this sound like a ton of work that you don’t feel equipped to take on? Don’t worry; you can do some pretty simple things to make sure you’re fulfilling the crucial task of educating your child to view the world from a Christian perspective.

Before diving in to what you can do if your children attend public school, let me briefly speak of the alternatives. Some speak about the alternatives in terms of right and wrong. They believe that everyone should home-school or send their kids to Christian school. Let me say that I disagree. There is no one perfect educational answer for everyone. It depends on the family, the child, the circumstances and much more. Jesus attended the equivalent of a Christian school. Moses was raised and schooled in Pharaoh’s courts, definitely the equivalent of secular school. Daniel and his friends attended Religious school in their youth and then secular school in Babylon.

The key is not where your children are schooled, but how they are taught at home. Moses’ mother evidently taught him and prepared him when he was young so that when the time came he chose God not Egypt. Daniel and friends were also prepared and ready for the temptations they would face and the incorrect teaching they would receive. Jesus may have learned the Torah at school, but practical life application was taught at home according to Deuteronomy six.

Many Christian families are opting to home-school their children, especially in the early years. This is a great idea, but not for everyone, or even possible for everyone. If you go this direction, you’ll still need to make sure you get curriculum that features a Christian world view, and also spend time teaching them about what the world around them believes and how to separate truth from error so that they are well prepared to live and believe in the real world. I home-schooled my oldest daughter for several years and it was a wonderful experience. I also made sure that I taught her from God’s Word everyday.

The other alternative is a Christian school. Again, this is not the right choice for every family, nor is it possible or even available to all. If it is possible and a good Christian school is available to you, it can be a great option.

Just because it’s a Christian school, however, doesn’t mean that you’ll like everything it teaches. If you choose this option, view it as a great assist; but just as you can’t delegate spiritual training to the church, so you can’t delegate education carte blanche to your child’s school – whether public or private. All of my children attended a wonderful Christian school and I can tell you from experience, the Christian school option does not get you off the hook. Christian schools are full of kids who are not living their lives as Christians, and although Bible class is part of the curriculum, our children still need to be taught the practical application of their Faith at home 24/7 in the midst of life.

Your child’s education is very important and one of your primary responsibilities as a parent is to pray about, plan, and oversea it. No matter which option or combination of options that you choose, you are still a key part of your child’s education. Stay on top of it, know what they’re learning, correct it if it needs correcting, add to it what needs adding and always remember, the most important things in life aren’t taught in school. It’s our job to teach our children the practical application of their Faith, matters of character, relationship skills, love, manners, morality and much more.

Daniel and his friends arrived in Babylon ready to serve God and to learn in a secular, pagan world. Perhaps their parents believed what Jeremiah (who began his ministry right around the time Daniel was born) prophesied about the exile, and prepared their children for the inevitable. Perhaps they were just protecting them from being led astray by the pagan Canaanite religions. Either way, it’s a good thing they did. Daniel changed the world – and all because he was able to chew on what he was taught, compare it with God’s truth, and spit out the bones.

Chapter 1 of Daniel records one of the most fascinating details of his story. It describes what happened when Daniel and his friends were tested by the king himself, and also shows what can happen when students trust God and learn through God-colored glasses:

In every matter of wisdom and understanding about which the king questioned them, he found them ten times better than all the magicians and enchanters in his whole kingdom. (Daniel 1:20)

Regardless of your thoughts about the recent election, this point in time is unique in our history. It marks the inauguration of the 44th US President.

The President of the United States is a position of immense power, unique prestige, instant fame, and world notoriety.

But you know what? Our role as dads is more important. It really is… Yes, it **REALLY** is.

Presidents come and go. Just think about all the presidents that have served so far in your lifetime. Sure, they make decisions that affect the direction of the country. And this next president will do likewise.

But as dads, we have something that no one… and I mean NO ONE… else has.

We have “father power.” It is the tremendous influence that we have in the lives of each of our children.

It is the power of our relationship with them, simply because we are their earthly father.

It is the ability and opportunity that we have as their dad to impact them, for all their lifetime, as well as their children and future generations of our family.

It is the privilege and responsibility we Dads have to instruct them, model to them, and disciple them in spiritual matters.

It is from us, Dad, whom our son will learn about masculinity, what it means to be a man, what it means to be a father, what it means to relate to a man, and if he has what it takes to be a man.

It is from us, Dad, whom our daughter can learn what it means to be truly cherished, how to relate to a man, what qualities to look for in her future husband, and if she is lovely as a woman.

With all due respect to Mr. Obama… even now… his greatest importance and lasting influence will be in the lives of his two daughters.

He, like each of us dads, has a power even greater than the position of President of the United States:

“Father Power!”

Let us remember this amidst the media adulation and attention being given at the inauguration and in the months ahead to the new US President.

Blessings to you and your family,

Joey Watkins

Founder, FamilyDads

FamilyDads is a dad-founded and dad-focused organization committed to helping dads prioritize and lead their family. Learn more at http://www.FamilyDads.com

(photo by vaniadasilva)

The best way to explain to our children how God answers or doesn’t answer their prayers is to draw a simple parallel between their asking us for things and their asking God for things.

There are basically three answers children can anticipate when asking parents for something: yes, which may come with some stipulation or adjustment to the original request; no, which is usually accompanied by one or more good reason; and maybe, the category that most parental responses fall into.

• Our children make certain requests of us with the expectation of getting a yes answer – requests for things that they basically already know our will on. For instance, if we always let them have friends over on the weekend, let them watch a certain television show, allow them to have a snack at a certain time, or take them out for lunch after church, they’d anticipate a yes.
• Then there are requests that our kids fully expect to get a no answer to. For example, if it’s an established family rule that we don’t have friends over on school nights, or that no one turns the TV on until homework is done, or that a big bowl of ice cream after school isn’t an acceptable snack, then if our kids asked us if we’d consider making an exception, they’d anticipate a no.
• Finally, there are a whole lot of requests that our children make of us that have no predetermined answer: Nothing in the past would help our kids anticipate with any certainty what our answer might be. They know that the answer could be either yes or no, depending on what kinds of things we consider in the decision-making process. For example, if a go-cart track had opened up a few miles from home and our children’s friends had gone there and had a great time, our children might well ask us to take them there. If they knew that we often took the family out on special outings similar to this, they’d have reason to hope for a yes, although they couldn’t be sure. After all, there might be factors that they’re not aware of that would cause us to say no or not yet – factors such as the family budget, other plans for the weekend, or safety concerns.

This parallel holds true when our children request things from God. There are many things outlined in the Bible that God has already said he’ll either give us or agree to. For example, God has told us again and again that he’ll meet our basic needs – needs for food, clothing, shelter, and so on. And we know that he has instructed us, for our own good, to follow his principles – but he has also said that he’ll help us learn to follow those principles. So if we ask God to help us always tell the truth or be a better friend, or learn to say only kind things, or control our anger, we know that the answer is predetermined: it’s yes. We’ll call these prayers “yes prayers.”

There are many yes prayers outlined in the Bible. As we’ve discussed, the Bible helps us know who God is, what he’s like, and what he’s willing to do. That’s why getting to know and read our Bible is essential for developing a strong prayer life and a close relationship with God. As we get to know the Bible better, we’ll know more about what we can ask God for and anticipate a yes.

But there are also requests to which we can anticipate receiving a definite no from God, as the Bible shows. We’ll call these requests “no prayers.” For example, the Bible says that God is love and that we’re to forgive people who wrong us. Understanding that, we know that if we get really made at someone and pray that god will punish him or her on our behalf, the answer will be no.

The majority of things that our children talk to God about fall into the same category as the majority of things they talk to us about: they’re prayers that might get a yes answer or might get a no answer: We’ll call them “maybe prayers.” Occasionally the parallel breaks down here, unfortunately, because we’re less than perfect as parents. Our children may ask us for something that’s actually perfectly reasonable. Thinking just of them, we should give a yes answer, but the answer becomes no because to grant the request would greatly inconvenience us, or perhaps we’re just too tired to do the work required of a yes response.

Whenever our children ask God for something reasonable and there’s no reason that they shouldn’t have it, the answer will be yes. But as in the go-cart example, there are many times that a maybe prayer receives a no answer or a not yet answer from God because he knows the bigger picture: he knows how the answer will affect us, he knows our life schedule, and he knows whether a yes answer to this request would take us in the wrong direction. He knows what’s good for us and what isn’t, and what’s safe and what isn’t. God hears and responds to every one of our maybe prayers, but we need to help our children realize that he answers according to his greater knowledge of who we are, where we are, and where we’re going. But we can always be sure that his answer is in our best interest.

At some point your children might wonder; If all of this is true, then why pray? Why not just let what’s going to happen, happen? The parallel drawn earlier between your children asking you and them asking God will help you answer this question. Although your kids can trust you, if they never let you know what they wanted or expressed their interests and preferences, they’d end up missing out on a lot that you’d have been willing to give them if they’d talked to you about it.

Nothing gets by God. He knows what we need and desire, but because he gave us a will and wants a relationship with us in which we express our interests, preferences, and desires, he doesn’t automatically do things in our life. The New Testament writer James sums if up by saying, “You don’t have what you want, because you don’t ask God” (James 4:2). When it comes to yes prayers and maybe prayers, God wants us to talk to him and ask him for things, and he wants to do the things that we’d like in our life. It’s a partnership, a relationship.

Help your kids understand that, that is the way God set it up, and that’s the way he made it work. The more we talk to him and spend time getting to know him and letting him know what it is that we want and need, the more he does in our lives.

To further help your child understand who God is, I recommend the book: Talking to Your Children About God.

When my kids were younger, every December as Christmas would draw closer, the ride to school in our SUV would get filled up with wacky Christmas songs. We’d take a non-sacred Christmas song like O Christmas Tree or Frosty the Snowman and rewrite the words to the song, often with hilarious results. (What’s a Seattle/Vancouver snowman? Three puddles!) Each year, we would sing the wacky ones we made up in years gone by, and then we’d start working out a line at a time on a new one for that year. What started out as a little bit of drive-time fun became a wonderful tradition. My children’s friends have even learned the wacky songs, and they’ve spread throughout the school.

Quite a few of the things that happened in our family as a result of taking advantage of available moments have become repeats, or when associated with special days, traditions.

When you make an effort to use the moments (between all of the busy moments), sometimes you’ll strike gold! When something you do clicks with your family, and love and laughter happens, if appropriate, make an effort to repeat it. As you do, traditions and memories will develop. This not only makes your family a more pleasant place to grow up, but it also enhances your unique family identity.

Every person has a unique identity; different countries have unique identities; different churches do as well. We don’t tend to think of families this way, but it’s also true of them. All of the fun moments and traditions and habits mixed together with the unique combination of personalities in your family all contribute to make up your unique family identity. When your family identity is strong and happy, your children’s sense of family and belonging will tend to be stronger. It’s when the identity is weak or negative that our children are more prone to look elsewhere for their identity.

So this Christmas when you find the moments, the simple and fun things that work in your family – the gold – add them to your family’s identity. If you have traditions that are easy and wonderful from years gone by, bring them up in conversation and/or cause a repeat.

Just for fun, I’ve included one of my family’s wacky Christmas carols. A little background first. The song ‘Oh, Christmas Tree’ has always struck us as being a little TOO focused on the tree itself as opposed to what it represents. So we decided that we’d have a little fun with the downside of the Christmas tree. Please remember this is just a bit of fun. We love our Christmas Trees. After all, this is coming from the author of the best-selling ‘The Legend of The Christmas Tree. : ) Enjoy!

Oh Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree
Oh how your pine needles annoy me
They fall on the carpet and they rot
In my vacuum they get caught
Oh Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree
Oh how your pine needles annoy me

Oh Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree
Oh what a fire hazard you can be
Your branches all dry up and die
Just one spark and they would fry
Oh Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree
Oh what a fire hazard you can be

Oh Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree
I’m thinking of replacing thee
I’ve had my eye upon a fake
But with it comes a huge fruitcake
Oh Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree
I guess for now i’m stuck with thee

It’s been a Great year and on behalf of the staff of Christian Parenting Daily, I want to thank you for your support and involvement! Have a VERY MERRY Christ-centered Christmas with lots of fun family moments!

Rick Osborne and family.

(photo by taylorhellar)

Apparently, this poem was written by a peace keeping soldier stationed overseas. It’s a good reminder to us at Christmas time that our soldiers deserve our thanks and need our prayers. Read it with your family and then include a prayer for our soldiers in your mealtime prayer.

The Night Before A Soldier’s Christmas

T’was the night before Christmas,
He lived all alone,
In a one bedroom house,
Made of plaster and stone.

I had come down the chimney,
With presents to give,
And to see just who,
In this home did live.

I looked all about,
A strange sight I did see,
No tinsel, no presents,
Not even a tree.

No stocking by the mantle,
Just boots filled with sand,
On the wall hung pictures,
Of far distant lands.

With medals and badges,
Awards of all kinds,
A sober thought,
Came through my mind.

For this house was different,
It was dark and dreary,
I found the home of a soldier,
Once I could see clearly.

The soldier lay sleeping,
Silent, alone,
Curled up on the floor,
In this one bedroom home.

The face was so gentle,
The room in such disorder,
Not how I pictured,
The life of a soldier.

Was this the hero,
Of whom I’d just read?,
Curled up on a poncho,
The floor for a bed?

I realized the families,
That I saw this night,
Owed their lives to these soldiers,
Who were willing to fight.

Soon round the world,
The children would play,
And grownups would celebrate,
A bright Christmas Day.

They all enjoyed freedom,
Each month of the year,
Because of the soldiers,
Like the one lying here.

I couldn’t help wonder,
How many lay alone,
On a cold Christmas Eve,
In a land far from home.
The very thought brought a tear to my eye,
I dropped to my knees, and started to cry.

The soldier awakened,
And I heard a rough voice,
‘Santa, don’t cry.
This life is my choice.

I fight for freedom,
I don’t ask for more,
My life is my God’s,
My country, my corps.’

The soldier rolled over,
And drifted to sleep,
I couldn’t control it,
I continued to weep.

I kept watch for hours,
So silent and still,
And we both shivered,
From the cold night’s chill.

I didn’t want to leave,
On that cold, dark night,
This guardian of honor,
So willing to fight.

Then the soldier rolled over,
With a voice, soft and pure,
Whispered, ‘Carry on Santa,
It’s Christmas Day, all is secure.’

One look at my watch,
And I knew he was right,
‘Merry Christmas my friend,
And to all a good night.’

www.disciplelikejesus.com

Don’t you adore the beauty of a manger scene: Mother, husband and child all looking so incredibly serene, backlit by the luminous soft glow of lamplight. Comfortably cuddled in a rustic, but poetically picture-perfect stable. Wholly contented, well-groomed farm animals all gazing on in rapt attention alongside a reverent audience of admiring onlookers. Everyone dressed in their finest garments, all colored with the same delicate and matching peaceful pastel colors. It’s all so perfect and romantic!

If you’ve already detected a gentle note of sarcasm, you need to hear that I know that these beautiful scenes are the work of well meaning and talented artists, who are merely trying to capture the wonder of this amazing moment.

However, most of us know that the wise men didn’t arrive until close to two years later, the stable was likely a not so picture-perfect cave cut into the hillside, the shepherds had just run from the fields and were very possibly not wearing their temple-best, and the animals were more than probably smelly and not quite so attentive.

Granted, the luminous back lighting is probably accurate.

How about Mom and Dad? Although I’m sure that Mary and Joseph were elated by the confirmations that God sent through the local visitors and in awe of their first born child, was everything parent-perfect in Bethlehem? First you have to remember that Mary and Joseph were normal people and regular parents who struggled with many of the same issues that we struggle with.

Now, if you can, put aside the traditional imagery and try to imagine yourself in Mary and Joseph’s sandals, and see if you can get an idea of what things were really like for these new parents. Honestly ask yourself, what would you be going through and feeling if this had been you.

Although accepting, Mary and Joseph were probably struggling with the fact that their childhood visions of marriage, family and happily-ever-after had been irretrievably altered by God’s agenda for the planet. Mary was close to full term and in that stage where, with everything inside her, she wanted the baby to be outside of her. They probably feared for the lives of Mary and the baby because there were some who thought that Mary should be stoned because her baby was conceived out of wedlock. Also, their story about the virgin birth was most likely met with skepticism even amongst those who knew them, which probably made them feel largely alone.

Then according to the decree of a government that their people were oppressed by, they had to hop on a donkey, possibly putting their new family in jeopardy and make a long trip through the hot desert to go be involved in a census—and who likes those things!

When they finally reached this small, seedy town (according to history, it wasn’t the nicest place to be) far, far away, they would have been feeling the heat, stress and exhaustion from the journey. On top of all that, they were very likely aware that their baby would soon make an appearance and they couldn’t find a vacancy anywhere. (Stop, are you seriously imagining what you’d be going through and what this real mom and dad would be feeling or have you slipped back into the romanticized traditions? Work with me here.)

You’re feeling alone and probably outcast. You’re hot, smelly and tired from a long road trip on a donkey that you did not want to take. Your baby is about to arrive, your probably in need of some home cooked food, and you’re looking forward to a comfortable Inn. Instead, you’re ushered into a cave where the locals bed down their animals. You get settled in, probably hoping that this is all very temporary, and then go into labor. To your dismay, there’s nowhere else to go and there’s no one around to help with the delivery. So your husband is elected in the heat of the moment to deliver your child in the modern-day equivalent of a barn.

Finally the baby arrives. You’re exhausted and ready for some alone time with your beautiful child. You’re also ready for a week’s worth of sleep, hopefully a bath and just then a crowd of sweaty shepherds show up for a visit!

Mary and Joseph were regular people and normal parents. Although I don’t see much of a lesson in the traditional romanticized manger scene, I see a wonderful example for parents today in the reality of what probably happened.

Let me give you a little background. Genesis records that when God first made everything he said it was good. In the beginning, before sin, it was all about God’s blessings, loving him and loving others, marriage, children, eating, working, living and laughing. God created life for us and created within us the matching desire for all of the wonderful joys of this life.

Unfortunately, the record of Genesis didn’t leave us there. Adam and Eve disobeyed God and brought sin and its devastating effects into all of our hearts and lives and into this world.

Jesus repaired what Adam and Eve broke. He gave his life so that everyone of us would again have the opportunity to have our sins forgiven and to live in our heavenly Father’s presence and blessings. However, we still live in a fallen world full of sin and its effects and we’re living in the middle of a war for the souls of billions of our fellow humans. God’s desire is to see all men saved and that desire has been placed in our hearts by God’s Holy Spirit.

So now we live with two God given desires that can often seem to be in conflict. The desire to fully live and enjoy life, and the desire to sacrifice all of that in order to reach out to a broken world.

Jesus addressed this conflict when he called us to seek first his Kingdom and his righteousness, and then told us that all of these things (the things of life that he created for us) would be given to us as well. (Matthew 6:33) Have you ever thought of this verse in the context of parenting and family life?

Notice that he didn’t say that life, children, family etc. were to be ignored or not enjoyed, but only that his Kingdom priorities had to be put first. Which of course makes sense. If you were to live in a country at war, your first difficult priority would be to secure your country otherwise how could you and your family possibly enjoy your life.

Today as Christian people and parents, we struggle weekly with the same conflict and it can be tough to find the balance. We want our children to have a fun life and to be happy, but we don’t want them to get mixed up in the world. We’d like to think that they can enjoy all of the world’s multimedia offerings and not be adversely affected, but we know better. We all love to sleep in on the weekends, but we know that attending church is part of God’s plan for strengthening our families and preparing us for the battle. Each one of us would like to see our children with comfortable, high paying careers, but we also know that it’s God’s will for their lives that’s more important. We are regularly faced with life choices that have us choosing between what we think could give our families a better life, and what is right or what we feel God wants us to do.

Until we realize that the conflict is normal, we sometimes beat ourselves up about it and think that if we were just better Christians, we wouldn’t struggle with these issues. The truth is God wants to bless us and have us learn, laugh, love and live our lives full of his joy and presence, but we are also called to further his Kingdom and he understands that the two often seem to be in conflict.

It’s not always easy to live life or find the right balance when we live with a Wal-Mart flyer in one hand and a book on ‘How Your Family Can Help Win the World for Christ’ in the other. It’s naturally a struggle and every one of us parents (not just you) is trying to find the balance everyday!

An ideal example of this struggle is how we fight to find balance in our Christmas celebrations. In our minds, one side of the equation fights for making Christmas the most fun for our family that it can possibly be. The other side fights for meaning and reminds us of the great opportunity Christmas offers us to reach out to others with love, aid, and the Gospel message. Many of us even struggle to find a balance between time spent focused on Jesus, and time spent focused on Santa and presents. However, if we recognize that it’s normal to struggle with this because both desires are God inspired, then instead of running to one side of the boat or the other and getting our family out of balance, we work towards finding a good mix of both for our family celebrations.

Plan the times of great fun and enjoyment around the moments of meaning, sacrifice and reaching out. Nice gifts for everyone on Christmas morning, but also a family evening packing wonderful things into a shoe box for Operation Christmas Child to deliver to a poor child somewhere in the world. Enjoying your churches Christmas play, but also helping out and inviting someone who hasn’t responded to the Gospel message yet. Putting up lots of fun and beautiful decorations, but also placing a nice manger scene front and center. Serve a large turkey dinner with all the trimmings, but also inviting someone who would not have had a family Christmas dinner otherwise.

When we do these things, get our children involved, and explain why we’re doing them, it helps our children to understand the natural conflict between the joy of living, and the need to focus first on God’s Kingdom and his righteousness.

I really do love manger scenes. I keep mine up all year round. However, the romanticized perfect picture of what Mary and Joseph lived through is not real and can get us thinking that real life, God’s holy calling and purposes are somehow two completely separate things that can’t exist together. It’s not true. Mary and Joseph were very real people who also struggled to live and enjoy their lives and family while they obeyed God, and joined in the fight for billions of souls.

So next time you look at a manger scene, imagine a little dirt on the floor, a look of exhaustion on Mary’s face and a real life struggle in Joseph’s mind, and feel encouraged—you’re in good company!