How can I explain to my children what God’s character is like?

In some ways, God is very different from us. He’s God, and he’s awesome. He’s the creator, and we’re creatures. But that doesn’t mean that we should talk about God in terms of his being so big and mysterious that we can’t possibly understand who he is and what he’s like. Even the unique and awesome things about God can be put in simple terms for children to understand.

Yet in many ways God is similar to us, and that’s what we should focus on first when we talk to our kids about God. He made us “in his image.” People have debated a lot about exactly what that phrase means, but one thing is for sure: everything good that God created as part of who we are is part of who God is, even though he’s not limited to or by any of these things. Read more

Helping your kids include everyone

The YouTube video attached is one of my all time favorite animated short films. The little blue birds are so into their exclusive ‘only our kind’ club and eliminating all threats to uniformity, that they’re blinded to what’s going on around them.

Children left to themselves tend to act exactly like that. She’s too young to be with us, he’s a boy, she’s my sister not my friend, they aren’t part of our class, club, team, school etc. If we’re not careful we can excuse this behavior as normal childhood antics. However, if we do, these seemingly innocent weeds can lead to full blown exclusive adult attitudes and behaviors such as prejudice and a lack of compassion and empathy for those that are different. Read more

Hilarious retelling of the Bible’s big story

Someone sent me the following as an email forward. The email gave no credits or links, so I’m not sure who it was written by. However I do know that it’s hilarious. It was reportedly written by a young person who was asked to do a book report on the Bible. Enjoy.

The Bible

In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, ‘Give me a light!’ and someone did. Then God made the world.

He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren’t embarrassed because mirrors hadn’t been invented yet.

Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden. Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn’t have cars.

Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel.

Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something. Read more

Talking to your kids about politics

Now-a-days it’s almost impossible to watch or listen to the news without hearing about politics. Even when we’re not in the middle of an election we’re hearing about another country who is or we’re hearing about political maneuvering or scandals. Politics is a big part of our cultural life and as Christian parents we should be engaging our kids in conversation about it.

Often, when we get into important conversations with our children it’s because of an event that has happen in our lives or around us. When these talks take place, it’s great to bring what the Bible says into each discussion. However, since it’s what the Bible says that’s eternal and most important, it’s even better to start there and bring what’s happening around us into the Biblical discussion.

Here are some Bible verses with political implications to use as discussion starters that you can print out to get the discussion rolling.

When the righteous thrive, the people rejoice; when the wicked rule, the people groan. (Proverbs 29:2)

(The Bible teaches that God wants leaders and governments to be honest and just. Is there anything we can do to help ensure that our leaders are righteous?)

“Caesar’s,” they replied. Then he said to them, “Give to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.” (Matthew 22:21)

Jesus said, “My kingdom is not of this world. If it were, my servants would fight to prevent my arrest by the Jews. But now my kingdom is from another place.” (John 18:36)

(Many Jews who lived in Jesus’ time didn’t like the Roman government. Can we conclude from Jesus’ words how he felt?)

For Herod himself had given orders to have John arrested, and he had him bound and put in prison. He did this because of Herodias, his brother Philip’s wife, whom he had married. For John had been saying to Herod, “It is not lawful for you to have your brother’s wife.” (Mark 6:17, 18)

(John the Baptist spoke out against the bad behavior of one of his political leaders. Is there anything we can do when we see our politicians acting incorrectly?)

Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God.
Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves.
For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and he will commend you.
For he is God’s servant to do you good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword for nothing. He is God’s servant, an agent of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer.
Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also because of conscience.
This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God’s servants, who give their full time to governing.
Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor. (Romans 13:1 – 7)

(What do these verses tell us about not only our political leaders but also the police and the military? Does submitting to authorities mean that we have to go along with them even when they do wrong?)

I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone–for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. (1 Timothy 2:1, 2)

(According to these verses what is the most powerful thing we can do to change our government? What does the last thirteen words of these verses tell you about what people’s lives should look like when good leaders are in government?)

What does it mean to be a Christian parent?

THE GOOD NEWS (The Gospel)

Why this section?

The main thing that all Christians have in common is that they at one point or another became a Christian. Contrary to some funny ideas in our culture, no one is a Christian because they were born into a Christian family or country. You cannot just be a Christian because you go to church and/or you try your best to be a good person. In order to be a Christian you must have, at one point, become one.

We wrote this section for a few very important reasons. First if you cannot recall a point where you made a decision to become a Christian this section will help you understand what being a Christian is and will help you take the next step. Which is VERY important if you plan on successfully raising your children as Christians.

The second reason is a very simple one, this is the most essential thing that every Christian should know and understand yet many do not. Many of us came to Christ by hearing the Good News and understanding it enough to have experience God’s wonderful forgiveness. That is great, however in order to grow as a Christian, in order to share our faith with others, and more importantly for this web site, in order for us to raise Christian children we need to understand it more thoroughly.

So please, get a cup of coffee or tea, sit back and take the time to read and understand this section and come back and re-read it and perhaps look up the scriptures and study it until you understand it enough to explain it to others, especially to your children.

To those of you who are about to click away because you think you already understand the Good News, stop and read it anyway. You may be surprised at how much more there is to the Good News than we often hear.

 

God’s Plan

It is important that we understand that yes in the beginning God created the heavens and the earth (Genesis 1:1) but before that he had a plan.

The Bible teaches that God realized before he started creating the earth that humankind would make the wrong choice and that he would have to send his own Son to die. (Matthew 25:34, Hebrews 4:3)

 

God’s Love

Think about the love involved in that. If before you had a child you were told that he would be REALLY difficult and cause you a life of grief but that in the end he would turn around and live happily. Would you be tempted to perhaps skip the pain and just not have children? God chose to still move forward for our sakes.

Think about this, Jesus has always been. He was there before, during and after creation (John 1:1 – 4). The Bible says that, “by him all things were created”. So Jesus chose to create us even though he knew that he would have to suffer in order to bring us back to God.

We can all quote John 3:16, For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son… he made that decision because he loved us before any of us were created.

 

God’s Responsibility

Some ask why God chose to send his own Son? Why if he planned it all ahead of time would he decide to do it this way? Well one of the reasons lies in the word ‘responsibility.’ Even our laws hold a parent responsible for the actions of their underage children.

If God knew ahead of time that we would go off track and he still (for our sake) decided to go ahead, then he needed to be responsible for that decision and pay the price himself for bringing us back. That is the loving and responsible thing to do.

 

God’s Step-By-Step Plan

It is important to know that God had this all planned from the start because the Bible is a progressive revelation of God’s plan for humankind. For example the Old Testament writers did not fully understand God’s plan. So when we read the Old Testament it can be difficult to understand unless we look at what we are reading in light of the fact that the writers did not fully understand God, his heart or what he was doing.

When Jesus came he showed us what God was really like and brought the key part of God’s plan into play through his birth, life, death and resurrection. Then the New Testament goes on to explain fully all of what God was doing through the Old Testament and what he did by sending his Son. (God knew that the Bible would start in Genesis and end in Revelation before he started inspiring the first writer. He intended it to be a progressive revelation of himself and unless we read its parts in the context of its whole story and God’s plan we won’t understand it.)

God was never winging it. He knew the beginning from the end and we can be confidant that he is still in control and that we are in the middle of his master plan for us.

 

God’s Garden

Now that we have established that let’s dive into the story. God created the Heavens and the Earth and he created Adam and Eve in his image and breathed into them his life. He created us to be his children.

God spent time with Adam and Eve in the Garden, loving them, teaching them, directing them as a loving Father with his children.

He blessed them and told them to be fruitful and multiply and subdue and manage the Earth. Although he knew that sin would temporarily interrupt the program he gave us a peek into his ultimate intentions for us by showing us a bit about his relationship with Adam and Eve in the Garden.

We were created like God in many ways as his children and he has awesome things in store for us but the ultimate thing he has for us is a relationship and partnership with him. We were meant to walk with him, learn from him and move out and do great things with him.

However because God loves us he gave us a choice; would we love and trust him and receive his love and help or not?

 

God’s Love Lets Us Choose

In order to understand sin and where we went off track we need to look closely at what went wrong in the Garden.

What did Satan do in order to lure the first two away? He called God’s integrity and intentions for them into question.

Genesis 3: 2 - 5 The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”  ”You will not surely die,” the serpent said to the woman.  ”For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

Basically, Satan told them that God was lying and that he really could not be trusted to look out for anyone but himself. That is where humankind went off the rails. We chose to doubt the one who lovingly created us, so we disobeyed him instead of trusting him.

We have to understand that, yes, sin is disobeying God, but the root of disobedience (and the key issue) is not trusting God. If we trust his love then we know that what he tells us is always what is best for us. Sin is merely the fruit of doubt and/or distrust.

 

God’s Separation Plan

God had promised that Adam and Eve would die on the day that they ate the fruit. We know that they did not die physically that day, (although sin caused that to happen eventually as well) so what was God referring to? Paul tells us that the death that took place that day was a spiritual death, (Eph. 2:1) which happened when Adam and Eve listened to the father of lies and chose sin.

Adam and Eve’s separation from God or spiritual death was demonstrated by God sending Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden. God showed us that it was his desire for Humankind to grow with him and fill and manage the Earth. But we chose to do it on our own terms, so we started out to do it on our own, outside the garden.

It is interesting to note that although we separated ourselves from God and we were spiritually dead (separated from God in our hearts) God never left us. Remember, God knew the beginning from the end. When Adam and Eve’s son killed his brother God spoke to him.

Genesis 4:10 – 14 The Lord said, “What have you done? Listen! Your brother’s blood cries out to me from the ground. Now you are under a curse and driven from the ground, which opened its mouth to receive your brother’s blood from your hand. When you work the ground, it will no longer yield its crops for you. You will be a restless wanderer on the earth.”

Cain said to the Lord, “My punishment is more than I can bear. Today you are driving me from the land, and I will be hidden from your presence; I will be a restless wanderer on the earth, and whoever finds me will kill me.”

Notice that Cain added to what God said. Cain said that he would be hidden from God’s presence, God didn’t say that. God loves us all, sin got in the way but he had a solution for that before he started.

When Adam and Eve sinned all humankind became sinful. Their children and all children ever born were born (like their parents) outside of the Garden and separated from God. Paul explains it in Romans saying that by one man’s sin, sin passed to all humankind (Romans 5:12). Sin gave birth to what the Bible calls the sin nature. When we are separated from God, his light, life and presence we are in darkness. Jesus described it by saying that our father is the devil and we end up wanting to carry out his desires (John 8:44).

So just like Adam, Eve and Cain most of humankind has been running from God and his presence, trying to do it their own way, steeped in sin and darkness ever since.

 

God’s Foundation

At first humankind’s rampage of sin took them so far into darkness that God had to step in like the loving parent of a very disobedient child who needs to be spanked so that they understand that bad behavior has consequences.

God found one guy on the planet that was not actively running from his presence but was choosing despite his sinful nature to trust God. His name was Noah and the flood was the spanking.

Have you ever heard someone refer to the God of the Old Testament and the God of the New Testament? It almost makes it sound like they were two different Gods. But remember the Bible is a progressive revelation of who God is and his plan.

Because humankind had a sinful nature they needed to be treated like a rebellious child and given boundaries with strict consequences to prevent them from completely running amuck while God was putting his plan in place. It was never God’s intention to have this kind of rebellious / punishment relationship with us. It came as a result of our sin and/or lack of trust.

After the flood, humankind (on the whole) went back to their old ways but with a little more caution and with the sinful nature somewhat restrained.

 

God’s Chosen People

The next part of God’s plan was Abraham. God chose a partner man who became a partner couple, then family and then a partner nation to help bring his plan to pass.

God’s plan was not to single out one nation to be his favorites. It was to single out a nation that would assist him in bringing about his ultimate plan of bringing the world back to him. He told Abraham from the beginning that through his seed the nations of the world would be blessed. Paul tells us that the word ‘seed’ is singular and referred to Christ.

Later God appointed Moses to set up some boundaries and consequences for his people to reveal his holiness and expectations to them and to try and keep them on track. So the Old Testament law was put in place. (Paul described the law as a schoolmaster until Christ came.)

 

The Old Covenant

The law became the foundation for a covenant (or a legal agreement) between God and Israel.

The deal was simple. God told Israel that if they obeyed the law and did all that God told them to do then he would be their God, which meant he would teach them, provide for them, protect them, lead them etc. So essentially God outlined the deal this way, if you do your part, I’ll do mine (Jeremiah 11:2 – 5).

It is important to see that through the Old Testament story of God’s dealings with Israel, their disobedience is linked with their trust. Just like what we saw in the Garden of Eden. When Israel and/or individual Israelites did not trust God, they disobeyed God.

Again, God knew the beginning from the end and he knew what the results of this covenant would be. The law could not bring people to God because it couldn’t solve the sin nature problem and trust cannot be demanded. So except for a few shining examples of Israelites who chose to trust God, the law failed to bring the Israelites close to God.

 

God’s New Deal

God spoke through his prophets and announced a New Covenant.

Jeremiah spoke about the New Agreement (Covenant) that was coming and what its terms would be.

“The time is coming,” declares the Lord, “when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah.  It will not be like the covenant I made with their forefathers when I took them by the hand to lead them out of Egypt, because they broke my covenant, though I was a husband to them,” declares the Lord.  ”This is the covenant I will make with the house of Israel after that time,” declares the Lord. “I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people. (Jeremiah 31:31 – 33)

The prophet Ezekiel also wrote about the terms of the new deal.

I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. (Ezekiel 36:25 – 27)

So although the prophets did not fully understand it, they announced that it was God’s plan to somehow move the deal from ‘You do your part then I will do mine,’ to I will do my part and I will change you from the inside out and cause you to do your part as well.

This could only be accomplished if sin could be defeated, the sin nature cured and if somehow we could be brought back into God’s presence and if our performance after that could be guaranteed.

The Bible says that the prophets longed to know how God was going to accomplish his plan. Let’s see how it unfolds.

 

God’s Only Son

So when the time was right God pulled the switch on the centerpiece of his plan and Jesus, who always was and always will be God, was born to Mary a virgin.

Why a virgin? For a number of reasons. If he was born of a human sperm he would have been human and he would have had the awful human generational virus called the sin nature. He would have been born a sinner.

Jesus being born without an earthly father shows that he was God’s Son and that he was born without sin or the sin nature. Which was essential because if a criminal is sentenced to death another criminal also sentence to death cannot offer to die in his place because his life is already spoken for to pay for his own crimes.

God established in the Garden from the start that the penalty for sin is death, (spiritual and physical). Remember every one of us was born in sin, separated from God, children of Adam and Eve with a sin nature. Before we sinned once we were sinners and sentenced to death. We are not sinners because we sin, we sin because we are sinners.

 

Jesus’ Life and Death

Jesus was not in the clear yet though. In order to die in our place he needed to be God for the reasons of love and responsibility. He needed to be born sinless and he needed to live a completely sinless life. That was another of God’s purposes for the law. Jesus’ life was to be measured up against it. If he sinned in his life by breaking God’s law (demonstrating mistrust) then again he would be captured by sin like Adam and Eve were.

Fortunately for us, Jesus lived a sinless life and when it was time for him to be falsely accused, beaten and led to the cross, he was ready.

Just before Jesus died he said, “It is finished.” He had done what he had decided to do for us before he created us. He lived, suffered and died in our place. He took responsibility for his children and died in our place for our sins so we wouldn’t have to.

Jesus did not just die for some sin. He died to pay the price for every sin ever committed or would be committed by every human ever past, present and future. That was necessary because his death absolutely stripped sin of its power. It can never again cause an Adam and Eve and remove any of his children from his presence.

Is that justice? Yes, as Paul explains it in Romans five, by one man’s sin (Adam’s) sin ruled over everyone. We were sinners when we were born. But as Paul continues to explain, by the actions of one man (Jesus) sin’s rule was ended. So through Adam we were separated from God through no actions of our own and through what Christ did we can be forgiven and made right with God, again by no actions of our own.

So does that mean that everyone everywhere is saved and on their way to heaven? Sorry, no.

 

Choosing To Trust God

There is a second part to the famous John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.

We are back where Adam and Eve were. Because Jesus died for us we have the ability to choose to believe and trust God and put our lives in his hands or not. The difference is now, sin cannot take us down because it has been stripped of its power.

Everyone, everywhere now has the ability to choose to become God’s child and have him be their God and Heavenly Father, loving them, directing them, growing, teaching and caring for them.

The words of John 3:16 were spoken by Jesus when he was talking to a Jewish leader named Nicodemus. He also told Nicodemus, “I assure you that unless you are born again, you can never see the Kingdom of God.”

Remember that God told Adam and Eve that they would die the day they ate the forbidden fruit. They died spiritually that day because they were separated from God. Everyone born physically since then has been born spiritually dead, separated from God.

Now through the death and resurrection of Jesus we have the opportunity to reverse the process. When we choose to trust God and believe that he loves us and sent his Son to die for us, he forgives us, removes our sin and reconnects us to him as his child. At that moment our spirit becomes alive again, we are born again.

Paul described the process this way, “For if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” (Romans 10:9)

Jesus said, “I am the way the truth and the life, no man comes to the father but by me.” Some take this as too exclusive. They look at this as an organizational, religious, cultural and sometimes even ethnic exclusive. In other words they view it as a narrow-minded statement that says our group is right and everyone else is wrong.

It is the exact opposite. This famous statement of Christ’s was probably one of the most inclusive statements ever spoken. Remember it was God’s plan to create us as his children and he has awesome things planned for us. He chose the Israelites and gave them an important part to play in his plan to reach all nations.

Jesus died for everyone everywhere no matter what their ethnicity, religious upbringing, culture, no matter their what their sin or past or life or anything else all are invited to come. Jesus was opening up the door to absolutely everyone and he wanted everyone to know how to get in. Not how to get into a different culture or a certain church but how to be forgiven and become a child of God.

 

God’s Invitation

If you have never been born again you are invited right now. No matter who you are, where you are from, what you have done or what you have been through. NO ONE IS EXCLDED. God loves you and his Son Jesus died in your place. You can pray right now no matter where you are. Tell God that you believe in his Son Jesus, ask him to forgive you and make you his child. Put it in your own words, he knows your heart, he will respond to you like a loving father running to meet a son or daughter that he has not seen in awhile and misses terribly.

If you just prayed that you are a child of God, your sins have been forgiven and God has connected you with himself by putting his Spirit in your heart. He now wants to start that relationship with you that he gave us a glimpse of in the Garden. He wants to show you his love, guide and lead you, teach you, grow you and care for you. He wants to hear from you in prayer and start walking with you in your life. You are now part of the New Covenant.

 

Back In The Garden

We have talked earlier about the Old Covenant, and what the prophets said about the New one coming. In the Old God said you do your part and I will do mine.

The prophets said that in the New Covenant God would take away our hearts of stone, give us new hearts and put his Spirit inside us. They said that he would be our God and we would be his people, that God would write his laws on our hearts and that he would cause us to walk in his way.

Paul said that the Good News (Gospel) is the power of God at work saving everyone who believes. He goes on to say that this Good News tells us how God makes us right in his sight and that this is accomplished from start to finish by faith. (Romans 1:16 – 17)

Here is the real Good News. Jesus not only died to get your ticket to heaven punched, through Christ’s death and resurrection he has called you into his presence to be his child and he is not just waiting to see if you are going to live up to his expectations. As you trust him he has promised to teach you and change you from the inside out and cause you to walk in his way and to become all that he originally created you to be. In the New Deal he has promised to do his part and he has promised to cause you to do yours as you trust and allow him. The Good News is from first to last, the same power of God that brought you into his Kingdom will work in you and take you victoriously through this life no matter what great things and hardships you encounter.

You are better than back where Adam and Eve were in the Garden. You have the choice again to walk with God and go out with him, learning from him and expanding the Garden instead of having to leave it. Only through what Jesus did, you cannot fail.

 

God’s Win/Win Deal

God’s plan is so awesome, he had to give us a choice because he loves us and even though he could see that we would walk away for a time and that he would have to suffer, he knew that it would be worth it for us in the long run so he went ahead.

But he planned it so that the very thing that could trip us up, sin, could be made powerless forever. Then to ensure that even our own apathy or inability would keep us from all of what God has for us for all of eternity he undertook to not only guarantee to do his part but to work in us and cause us to do our part!

No wonder the Bible says that God is love!

 

Now What?

I started this section by stating why reading and understanding the Gospel is so important to Christian Parenting. If you have prayed and asked God to make you his child you already can see how essential this step is to you and your children.

If this has happened to you please email us and let us know. But more importantly if you know any Christians that are close to you, tell them and let them help you get started in your walk with God.

If you are a parent, stepparent, grandparent or even planning on being a parent it is very important that you know how to help your children/stepchildren and/or grandchildren understand these foundational truths.

You should be able to get started just because you now understand it more thoroughly.

However if you want to know how to put it simply in a way that kids will understand and also to be prepared for their follow up questions, I highly recommend the book ‘801 Questions Children Ask About God.”

You can sit down with this book with your kids and find the answers to pretty much any question they have about Jesus and their salvation. In doing so you will start those of your children who have not yet become Christians on the road to that decision. And for those who are already Christians you will help strengthen their Faith and put them on the road to understanding it more thoroughly and being able to share it with others.

Happy Christian Parenting!

It’s the economy, mom and dad

Listening to all the news about economy lately has got me thinking about an old friend. Anyone remember the best-seller, ‘The Coming Economic Earthquake’? One Amazon review, written last month, says this about the book, “This book clearly outlines why the recession is here and it was written in 1991 predicting it.”

I had the pleasure of knowing Larry Burkett and being able to call him my friend for several years before he left us to be with our Lord. He was a wonderful person, a faithful friend and an awesome man of God. He studied the Bible and understood perhaps better than anyone what God’s Word says and teaches about money.

I met Larry shortly after he wrote ‘The Coming Economic Earthquake’ and although I didn’t understand all of what he was saying about where the economy was going, we talked about something that was near to my heart. Him and his son Allen Burkett Jr. wanted to help parents teach their kids Biblical financial principles so that Christians and the Church in the generations to come could stand strong during tough times.

Larry showed me the conclusions of a nation wide survey that tested the financial IQ of high school seniors. The director of the report summed up the results by saying that our kids were graduating financially illiterate. He also shared with me statistics that showed that 85% of young couples who divorce site financial issues as the reason for their marital breakdown. That discussion led to Larry and I co-writing the book ‘Financial Parenting.’ I also went on to work with both Larry Sr. and Jr. to develop many resources that help parents teach their children financial principles.

The Bible tells us that as parents we are to bring our children up in the instruction of the Lord. The Bible doesn’t just teach us about God, love and salvation. Moses, Solomon, Jesus, Paul and others were all used by God’s Spirit to teach us about stewardship and proper money management. It’s our job as parents to safeguard our children’s future by intentionally bringing them up in these truths.

I don’t know if the ‘Economic Earthquake’ as Larry saw it is here yet but I do know that if we want our kids to survive financially, now and in the future, we need to spend some time teaching them what God’s Word says about money.

The Coming Economic Earthquake, Financial Parenting and the other resources we developed for kids have been selling well and helping families for years but perhaps they are even more relevant and more important now.

Although Larry Burkett is no longer with us, every book he wrote was based on God’s Word and therefore timeless and very relevant today. I highly recommend the following books and any other’s with my friend’s name on them.

            

 

 

(RICK OSBORNE / Christian Author, Speaker & Bible Teacher)

Don’t air the family’s dirty laundry

Do you remember your parents telling you to not air your family’s dirty laundry? It’s a metaphor which apparently can be traced back to Napolean. The idea being that you shouldn’t do laundry in public (eg hang clothes on a line to dry) that would reveal intimate details of your life and you also shouldn’t tell others about the troubles and private things that happen in your family.

I remember hearing this saying when I was young and my Granny was still alive. I remember wondering why (if this saying were true as a fact as well as a metaphor) she would hang her unmentionables on our clothes line when she visited. Now I should mention that my Gran was a wonderful lady but she was a very large woman and her private garments would attract attention. However, for some reason she seemed oblivious to this fact.

I’m telling this story because I believe that somehow, somewhere along the way, we’ve adopted the idea that what happens behind closed family doors is no one’s business but our own. Which has again somehow led to the idea that we are free to behave in ways in our homes that we would not act in public.

Although I’ve seen this in many Christian homes, it is not God’s idea of how a Christian home should function. Being a Christian is about who we are and who we’re becoming, it’s not just about what we believe. As we submit our lives to God, he by his grace and the work of the Holy Spirit begins (and never stops) to change our hearts and that change should be reflected in our behavior. The first place that our changed behavior should show up is in our closest relationships – in our family relationships.

The Apostle Paul wrote these words. “Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.” (1 Timothy 5:1, 2)

Notice that Paul assumes that our best behavior would be used on our family members and he therefore exhorts Timothy (and us) to treat other Christians how we treat our family. Would it go over well if you treated the people at church the same way you’ve allowed yourself to treat your spouse and/or children from time to time in the privacy of your own home?

In the same letter to Timothy, Paul outlines the qualifications for leaders in the church and reveals that what goes on at home either qualifies or disqualifies you for leadership. Would others question your ability to minister to others if they saw a video (taken secretly) of you at home?

The only Biblical application I can see for ‘Don’t air our family’s dirty laundry’ is that we shouldn’t gossip about our family members or maliciously share their mistakes with others. Our homes should be a safe place to grow and make mistakes but it was never meant to be a place where we can behave badly because we’ve been led to believe that a Las Vegas like slogan applies, ‘what happens at home stays at home’.

Try this, next time you’re reading the Bible, with each instruction ask yourself “Am I living this at home?” If you’re not, stop and pray and ask for God’s help. Also start checking your home behavior, if you’re about to scream or get unreasonable stop and think if you’d speak that way to your pastor. If you’re doing something that you wouldn’t want to talk about Sunday morning then think about why you’d even consider behaving that way in front of the ones you love the most.

Perhaps my Granny knew this to be true and was reversing the metaphor when she hung out her large unmentionables to dry. Or perhaps she just wanted dry unmentionables. I’ll ask her when I get to heaven.

For more practical and Biblical Christian Parenting ideas we recommend the Christian resource, ‘Teaching Kids About God’.

 

 

 

 

(RICK OSBORNE / Christian Author, Speaker & Bible Teacher)

The really important parenting task that most of us miss (part 2)

HOW TO RAISE GREAT PARENTS

In my last post, we talked about how God’s original parent training program was that one generation teach the next how to parent God’s way. It’s our job as parents to not only learn how to parent God’s way and to do it effectively but also to teach our children how to be a parent while we are parenting them.

This sounds more daunting then it actually is. In reality, parenting while teaching to parent is the easiest and most effective way of parenting.

When we send our children to school, they go knowing that they need to go through the learning process and do well so that one day they’ll graduate. They know because we tell them. From there we encourage them by telling them that great marks lead to better post secondary education options and those options can lead to better career opportunities etc. We keep them going by helping them to understand and to take on the goals as their own.

If our children think the only goal of parenting is for them to try and have fun and for us to try and stop them, they don’t see the reward in the process and our task will be difficult. However, if we talk to them not only about the benefits to their life for doing things the right way, but also about how cooperating with the parenting process and learning how it works will help make them great parents, then they’ll be able to see a bigger purpose and a greater reward.

With my kids, I’d always break it down. I’d tell them what my role as a father looked like and what I was responsible to God for. I’d also tell them what their part as a kid was before God and what the purpose or outcome of the whole parent/child relationship is meant to be.

It’s quite simple. A parent’s job is to consistently and diligently instruct train and discipline their children so that by the time they leave home they are mature Christian adults prepared to work, live, love and parent successfully on their own. Each child’s job is to cooperate with their parents in the process and do everything they can to help themselves reach that same goal.

I found that this idea of working together towards the same goal always made things easier when things went off track. Instead of locking horns with my kids over an issue (say like homework) I’d merely sit them down and talk about our mutual goal and what we both could do in this situation to work together, solve the problem and eventually reach the goal. It was always more peaceful and my kids would respond much better than they would if they thought that I was merely trying to force my agenda on them.

If both parent and child understand and agree on their roles, the process and the goal, then it’s easier to work together and the parenting process becomes more of a joy. As you do this, the parenting process also becomes transparent and your child learns how to be a parent as they are being parented.

Now I said that the parenting books, courses etc, that I write and advocate should just be a booster shot to this process. Although I believe this ‘parent raising parents’ method is God’s primary parent training program, it’s not the only Biblical process for parent training. None of us know it all and we all have different teaching styles, personality types etc. that work better with some people than others. Therefore, it’s always helpful to get outside help from other parents, grandparents, family, church community and family ministries. The Bible teaches that in our church communities, the older women should teach the younger women (Titus 2:4). In other words, those with godly wisdom and experience in the community should help in the process of preparing the next generation to take over.

Christian parenting books, classes, courses and wisdom from others are all needed but they should come along side and help a young parent who has been taught to be a great parent while being parented.

If you haven’t started doing this yet, sit down with your child or children and discuss it and then start. I think you’ll find that it makes a world of difference.

For more practical and Biblical Christian Parenting ideas we recommend the Christian resource, ‘The Spiritual Growth of Children’.

 

 
 

 

(RICK OSBORNE / Christian Author, Speaker & Bible Teacher)

The joy of parenting? How to bring the joy back (part 3)

Throughout the Bible, children are considered to be a gift from God and a blessing to the parents who receive them.

Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. (Psalm 127:3)

Scripture contains many prayers and songs thanking God for the blessing of children, including those of Sarah, Hannah, and Mary. Mary had heard the stories of Sarah and Hannah and had learned that children are an awesome gift and a blessing.

Mary said: “My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior.” (Luke 1:46-47)

If you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop, here it comes. Sometimes parenting can seem downright overwhelming. Children need constant care, training, and discipline, and none of us is perfectly up to the task. So at times we feel tempted to consider the gift of children as anything but a blessing. I once heard a mother say to her young teenager (in jest of course), “Watch it, buster! I brought you into this world and I can take you back out again!” That about sums up the way we sometimes feel, doesn’t it?

Unfortunately, sometimes it goes beyond having a bad day or a frustrating moment. Many parents firmly believe that parenting is a burden, that children are rebels and mischief-makers, that teenagers and adults don’t get along, and that siblings would all but kill each other if left alone. I’ve heard parents complain that their kids won’t listen, won’t help, don’t care, and are just huge pains in their backsides. When we believe these things, we lower the bar of expectation and learn to live with substandard behavior instead of looking to God for help and solutions and choosing to believe God when he calls children a blessing. If God gave children to you as a blessing and considers them a blessing, then he’s already prepared to give you every thing you need to experience them as a blessing.

When we choose to believe what God says about our children being a blessing, we raise the bar and look for ways to learn how to resolve conflict, restore relationships, and parent God’s way. And eventually we see peace return to our households.

If you feel worn out and at the end of your rope with your children, stop and pray right now. Give your situation to God and ask him for help, wisdom, and workable solutions. Look up advice online, read a parenting book and/or ask for help from a parent who you’ve witnessed doing a great job. Ask God to return the atmosphere of his blessing to your household and children. Once you’ve done that, start thanking him (and keep doing it daily) for your children, trusting him that he’s heard your prayer, that he’s helping you learn and grow, and that he’s turning things around.

Don’t expect things to get perfect overnight, but continue to stay focused on God’s affirmation that being a parent is a gift and a blessing. Know that if he calls parenting a blessing, then he’ll help get your family to the place where it is. Then watch him slowly but surely return the joy of parenting.

And even if our household usually reflects God’s blessing, we can still all take a page out of Sarah’s book. When things start to slide, remember to check your perspective, laugh, and remind God that he called this whole parenting thing a blessing. Then ask him for the wisdom, grace, and help to cause your experience to match his statement.

Please help spread the word to the next generation. Children are a blessing from God but so is gardening/farming and money. But as with all blessings we need to apply ourselves to learning how to garden/farm, manage our money and parent properly if we want any of these blessings to be a success and a joy.

For more practical and Biblical Christian Parenting ideas we recommend the Christian resource, ‘What Mary and Joseph Knew About Parenting’.

(RICK OSBORNE / Christian Author, Speaker & Bible Teacher)

The joy of parenting? You’ve got to be kidding! (part 1)

I apologize for the video. Let me be clear, I am not endorsing the product and I think the whole idea behind the video is appalling. However, the fact that this commercial was made and that people find it funny or appropriate, perfectly illustrates the point of my next few posts. Many people today believe that kids are generally horrible, that parenting is a huge thankless burden, and that having kids should be avoided. According to many statistical reports that I’ve viewed, the percentage of couples who are choosing not to have kids is increasing significantly ever year. So did God tell us to be fruitful and multiply so we could spend 20 years being miserable? Not! God meant parenting to be a joy not a burden.

I love it that the first recorded words of God to humankind are all about the joy of parenting;

God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number.” (Genesis 1:28)

Please notice that not only did God’s first recorded message to us concern children, but he stated it as a blessing not as a burden: “God BLESSED them and said…”

Recently someone told me of a couple who declared that they had decided not to have children because they enjoyed their freedom and lifestyle too much and wanted to remain selfish about it. Although I admire this couple for recognizing their shortcomings, they have their wires severely crossed. Having children and raising them God’s way is not a burden – it’s a gift and a blessing from God. If that couple knew what a blessing it could be, they would jump at the chance to have children and thereby enrich their lives. Yes, raising children is a responsibility; every blessing comes with responsibilities. Having a lot of money is a huge responsibility, but who would refuse a million dollars because of the responsibilities that come along with it?

However, if you were raised in a family that went from rags to riches and you saw the money rip your family apart and create endless pain, would your attitude towards the gift of a million dollars be different? If I am guessing correctly, most of us would say that it wasn’t the money that caused the problem but the way the people involved responded to the money.

Many young people today are shying away from having children because they themselves have seen more pain and problems in the parenting process then blessings. Yet, it’s not parenting or having kids that caused the pain and problems, it’s often no knowledge of the way that God tells us to parent and/or just uninformed parenting that is the problem.

It always amazes me how so many people will get a coach, teacher, trainer and/or take a class or course when they want to learn anything from gourmet cooking to surfing, but when it comes to parenting, they think they can do a great job without making any effort to learn how. Not to long ago a woman told me that she believed that parenting was intuitive and therefore no one needed to learn it. If this were true, there would be no bad parenting because we’d all do it well intuitively. Unfortunately, there’s more bad parenting going on then good. Some aspects of nurture are intuitive, but the vast majority of what makes a good parent needs to be learned.

We need to get a message to those who, for the pain and problems that they’ve experienced or seen, are running from having kids. Parenting can be a joy if we apply ourselves to learning and growing as a parent. A good parenting book or parenting course will do for your parenting experience what a gourmet cooking course will do for your cooking experience. When God said that children were a blessing, he was assuming that we’d be getting his help and wisdom and learning from others who had done the same.

With this post and my next few, I want to explore what the Bible says about the joy of parenting. I’m spending time on this because I’ve found that when we understand how God views parenting, it helps us to make adjustments in our actions and attitudes and sometimes it’s those adjustments that make a huge difference in how we approach parenting. I also want to equip the Body so that they can respond, and lovingly instruct those in this generation that are shying away from having children for the wrong reasons. Those who would find truth and humor in the opening video instead of error and sadness.

For more practical and Biblical Christian Parenting ideas we recommend the Christian resource, ‘What Mary and Joseph Knew About Parenting’.

(RICK OSBORNE / Christian Author, Speaker & Bible Teacher)

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