The Neighbor’s Dog

An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard; I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of.

He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head; he then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep.

An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.

The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour. This continued off and on for several weeks.

Curious, I pinned a note to his collar:  ’I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.’

The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar: ‘He lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3 – he’s trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?’

Unfortunately, as with most email forwards, this came to me with no links or author credits so I don’t know where it came from or even if it actually happened. However, it’s hilarious, and most of us can see it happening and can identify with it.

Some families give their kids ‘timeouts’ when they’re misbehaving. Many times the misbehaving comes at times when the child is tired, hungry, frustrated, etc. and the time-out really just serves to settle them down so that they can be talked to and dealt with rationally.

This email forward reminded me that parents get tired and frustrated from time to time and also need a timeout. It’s when we push ourselves past our own strength and run ahead parenting, even when we’re tired and/or frustrated, that we end up misbehaving towards or in front of our children. Every parent needs an exit strategy. Kind of like a fire escape plan so that you can get a little rest when you feel the need before you reach the end of your rope and parent badly. Here are some ideas:

• If you’re a full time, at home parent, and your spouse has an outside job, arrange for your spouse to take the kids for a hour when they get home to let you escape to what ever relaxes you (a bath, exercise, a prayer walk, etc.).
• If your kids have nap times, coordinate the naps to happen all at once. Even kids who are older can have a ‘quiet time’ in their room while their younger siblings are napping. Take some of this time and do something that relaxes you. Resist the temptation to spend all of this time doing chores. You being rested for your kids is more important.
• If your kids take well to the stroller or riding in the car, get out and take a walk or a drive. Don’t have an agenda, just walk and/or drive to relax and maybe see some nice scenery.
• Make time each evening, after all the kids are bedded down, to do something that relaxes you, reading, praying, chatting with friends online etc. Identify which activities recharge you and spend even a small amount of time recharging.
• Plan a bigger timeout at least once a week. Get a babysitter and get out and about doing something you enjoy.

What do you do to make sure that your batteries are recharged so that you can parent calmly and in control? Leave your comments, they could be helpful to another parent. We may not be able to follow our dog to the neighbor’s house, but with a little bit of planning we can keep ourselves rested and ready to go.

(If you know where the email forward originated, please let me know so that I can give proper credit.)

Daniel’s life and the details surrounding it fascinate me. This man of God, full of deep integrity and wisdom, wrote some of the most detailed and much-studied prophecies in the Bible.

As a teenager, Daniel was uprooted from his home and taken as a captive to Babylon. He ended up in the royal court after the king ordered several young Israelite captives of noble birth to be brought to the palace (Daniel 1:3). Until the time Daniel was taken captive, he evidently grew up in either the royal family or in a very influential home.

Daniel was a young boy when the very godly Josiah ruled Judah. So since Daniel probably grew up in an influential family during Josiah’s reign, he likely was raised with spiritual training and with a godly world view.

Daniel and three other teenage Israelites were taken to the king’s court to get a Babylonian education. All four of the boys received Babylonian names. Daniel was called Belteshazzar; the name hints at the purpose of his education. “El” at the end of Daniel’s name refers to God. “Bel” at the beginning of his new name referred to a Babylonian god. Daniel and his friends were to be educated not only in regular school topics like literature, but they were to be trained to think and view the world, in every way, as the Babylonians did.

In other words, they attended a school similar to those where many Christians send their children to get educated today. Our public schools don’t only strive to give children a God-neutral education; very often they contradict what Christians believe.

Some contend that it’s our job to stand up, be counted, and change all of this. I wouldn’t disagree, but I’d like to point out something even more fundamental: it’s not the governments job to ensure that our children get the right intellectual or spiritual education – that’s our job. Government schooling should aid us in getting the job done, of course, but when we recognize the task as ours, we no longer resign ourselves to the status quo, but instead do what we can to fill in the gaps and right the wrongs in our own child’s education.

If your child is gifted in music, for example, you many conclude that the music program at her school is just not enough. So what do you do? You take control and get her involved in community or private lessons outside of school. Or if you or another family member has musical abilities then some training at home.

In the same way, if your children attend public school and are being taught things contrary to the truth, then it’s your responsibility to fix the problem. You may consider it a civic responsibility to help change things on a political level, but while you’re doing that, it’s also your parental responsibility to change it for your child, whether it changes for everyone else or not.

Fortunately, Daniel and his three friends had been well educated in Judah before their exile to Babylon. Not only had they learned what was right, but they also learned (at the very least from what Josiah did) about the dangers of the pagan religions that Josiah worked so hard to eradicate. This would have prepared the four young men to learn, discern, and understand everything they were taught in light of God’s truth.

In Babylon they learned about practices God had forbidden, such as astrology and divination. They didn’t refuse to learn about these subjects, but they did recognize them for what they were and refused to practice them. When it came to interpreting dreams or predicting the future, Daniel didn’t follow the ways of the Babylonian magicians; he went to God.

We need to prepare our children by educating them in the truth so that when their instructors teach something wrong, they know it and know what the real truth is.

Does this sound like a ton of work that you don’t feel equipped to take on? Don’t worry; you can do some pretty simple things to make sure you’re fulfilling the crucial task of educating your child to view the world from a Christian perspective.

Before diving in to what you can do if your children attend public school, let me briefly speak of the alternatives. Some speak about the alternatives in terms of right and wrong. They believe that everyone should home-school or send their kids to Christian school. Let me say that I disagree. There is no one perfect educational answer for everyone. It depends on the family, the child, the circumstances and much more. Jesus attended the equivalent of a Christian school. Moses was raised and schooled in Pharaoh’s courts, definitely the equivalent of secular school. Daniel and his friends attended Religious school in their youth and then secular school in Babylon.

The key is not where your children are schooled, but how they are taught at home. Moses’ mother evidently taught him and prepared him when he was young so that when the time came he chose God not Egypt. Daniel and friends were also prepared and ready for the temptations they would face and the incorrect teaching they would receive. Jesus may have learned the Torah at school, but practical life application was taught at home according to Deuteronomy six.

Many Christian families are opting to home-school their children, especially in the early years. This is a great idea, but not for everyone, or even possible for everyone. If you go this direction, you’ll still need to make sure you get curriculum that features a Christian world view, and also spend time teaching them about what the world around them believes and how to separate truth from error so that they are well prepared to live and believe in the real world. I home-schooled my oldest daughter for several years and it was a wonderful experience. I also made sure that I taught her from God’s Word everyday.

The other alternative is a Christian school. Again, this is not the right choice for every family, nor is it possible or even available to all. If it is possible and a good Christian school is available to you, it can be a great option.

Just because it’s a Christian school, however, doesn’t mean that you’ll like everything it teaches. If you choose this option, view it as a great assist; but just as you can’t delegate spiritual training to the church, so you can’t delegate education carte blanche to your child’s school – whether public or private. All of my children attended a wonderful Christian school and I can tell you from experience, the Christian school option does not get you off the hook. Christian schools are full of kids who are not living their lives as Christians, and although Bible class is part of the curriculum, our children still need to be taught the practical application of their Faith at home 24/7 in the midst of life.

Your child’s education is very important and one of your primary responsibilities as a parent is to pray about, plan, and oversea it. No matter which option or combination of options that you choose, you are still a key part of your child’s education. Stay on top of it, know what they’re learning, correct it if it needs correcting, add to it what needs adding and always remember, the most important things in life aren’t taught in school. It’s our job to teach our children the practical application of their Faith, matters of character, relationship skills, love, manners, morality and much more.

Daniel and his friends arrived in Babylon ready to serve God and to learn in a secular, pagan world. Perhaps their parents believed what Jeremiah (who began his ministry right around the time Daniel was born) prophesied about the exile, and prepared their children for the inevitable. Perhaps they were just protecting them from being led astray by the pagan Canaanite religions. Either way, it’s a good thing they did. Daniel changed the world – and all because he was able to chew on what he was taught, compare it with God’s truth, and spit out the bones.

Chapter 1 of Daniel records one of the most fascinating details of his story. It describes what happened when Daniel and his friends were tested by the king himself, and also shows what can happen when students trust God and learn through God-colored glasses:

In every matter of wisdom and understanding about which the king questioned them, he found them ten times better than all the magicians and enchanters in his whole kingdom. (Daniel 1:20)

Don’t you adore the beauty of a manger scene: Mother, husband and child all looking so incredibly serene, backlit by the luminous soft glow of lamplight. Comfortably cuddled in a rustic, but poetically picture-perfect stable. Wholly contented, well-groomed farm animals all gazing on in rapt attention alongside a reverent audience of admiring onlookers. Everyone dressed in their finest garments, all colored with the same delicate and matching peaceful pastel colors. It’s all so perfect and romantic!

If you’ve already detected a gentle note of sarcasm, you need to hear that I know that these beautiful scenes are the work of well meaning and talented artists, who are merely trying to capture the wonder of this amazing moment.

However, most of us know that the wise men didn’t arrive until close to two years later, the stable was likely a not so picture-perfect cave cut into the hillside, the shepherds had just run from the fields and were very possibly not wearing their temple-best, and the animals were more than probably smelly and not quite so attentive.

Granted, the luminous back lighting is probably accurate.

How about Mom and Dad? Although I’m sure that Mary and Joseph were elated by the confirmations that God sent through the local visitors and in awe of their first born child, was everything parent-perfect in Bethlehem? First you have to remember that Mary and Joseph were normal people and regular parents who struggled with many of the same issues that we struggle with.

Now, if you can, put aside the traditional imagery and try to imagine yourself in Mary and Joseph’s sandals, and see if you can get an idea of what things were really like for these new parents. Honestly ask yourself, what would you be going through and feeling if this had been you.

Although accepting, Mary and Joseph were probably struggling with the fact that their childhood visions of marriage, family and happily-ever-after had been irretrievably altered by God’s agenda for the planet. Mary was close to full term and in that stage where, with everything inside her, she wanted the baby to be outside of her. They probably feared for the lives of Mary and the baby because there were some who thought that Mary should be stoned because her baby was conceived out of wedlock. Also, their story about the virgin birth was most likely met with skepticism even amongst those who knew them, which probably made them feel largely alone.

Then according to the decree of a government that their people were oppressed by, they had to hop on a donkey, possibly putting their new family in jeopardy and make a long trip through the hot desert to go be involved in a census—and who likes those things!

When they finally reached this small, seedy town (according to history, it wasn’t the nicest place to be) far, far away, they would have been feeling the heat, stress and exhaustion from the journey. On top of all that, they were very likely aware that their baby would soon make an appearance and they couldn’t find a vacancy anywhere. (Stop, are you seriously imagining what you’d be going through and what this real mom and dad would be feeling or have you slipped back into the romanticized traditions? Work with me here.)

You’re feeling alone and probably outcast. You’re hot, smelly and tired from a long road trip on a donkey that you did not want to take. Your baby is about to arrive, your probably in need of some home cooked food, and you’re looking forward to a comfortable Inn. Instead, you’re ushered into a cave where the locals bed down their animals. You get settled in, probably hoping that this is all very temporary, and then go into labor. To your dismay, there’s nowhere else to go and there’s no one around to help with the delivery. So your husband is elected in the heat of the moment to deliver your child in the modern-day equivalent of a barn.

Finally the baby arrives. You’re exhausted and ready for some alone time with your beautiful child. You’re also ready for a week’s worth of sleep, hopefully a bath and just then a crowd of sweaty shepherds show up for a visit!

Mary and Joseph were regular people and normal parents. Although I don’t see much of a lesson in the traditional romanticized manger scene, I see a wonderful example for parents today in the reality of what probably happened.

Let me give you a little background. Genesis records that when God first made everything he said it was good. In the beginning, before sin, it was all about God’s blessings, loving him and loving others, marriage, children, eating, working, living and laughing. God created life for us and created within us the matching desire for all of the wonderful joys of this life.

Unfortunately, the record of Genesis didn’t leave us there. Adam and Eve disobeyed God and brought sin and its devastating effects into all of our hearts and lives and into this world.

Jesus repaired what Adam and Eve broke. He gave his life so that everyone of us would again have the opportunity to have our sins forgiven and to live in our heavenly Father’s presence and blessings. However, we still live in a fallen world full of sin and its effects and we’re living in the middle of a war for the souls of billions of our fellow humans. God’s desire is to see all men saved and that desire has been placed in our hearts by God’s Holy Spirit.

So now we live with two God given desires that can often seem to be in conflict. The desire to fully live and enjoy life, and the desire to sacrifice all of that in order to reach out to a broken world.

Jesus addressed this conflict when he called us to seek first his Kingdom and his righteousness, and then told us that all of these things (the things of life that he created for us) would be given to us as well. (Matthew 6:33) Have you ever thought of this verse in the context of parenting and family life?

Notice that he didn’t say that life, children, family etc. were to be ignored or not enjoyed, but only that his Kingdom priorities had to be put first. Which of course makes sense. If you were to live in a country at war, your first difficult priority would be to secure your country otherwise how could you and your family possibly enjoy your life.

Today as Christian people and parents, we struggle weekly with the same conflict and it can be tough to find the balance. We want our children to have a fun life and to be happy, but we don’t want them to get mixed up in the world. We’d like to think that they can enjoy all of the world’s multimedia offerings and not be adversely affected, but we know better. We all love to sleep in on the weekends, but we know that attending church is part of God’s plan for strengthening our families and preparing us for the battle. Each one of us would like to see our children with comfortable, high paying careers, but we also know that it’s God’s will for their lives that’s more important. We are regularly faced with life choices that have us choosing between what we think could give our families a better life, and what is right or what we feel God wants us to do.

Until we realize that the conflict is normal, we sometimes beat ourselves up about it and think that if we were just better Christians, we wouldn’t struggle with these issues. The truth is God wants to bless us and have us learn, laugh, love and live our lives full of his joy and presence, but we are also called to further his Kingdom and he understands that the two often seem to be in conflict.

It’s not always easy to live life or find the right balance when we live with a Wal-Mart flyer in one hand and a book on ‘How Your Family Can Help Win the World for Christ’ in the other. It’s naturally a struggle and every one of us parents (not just you) is trying to find the balance everyday!

An ideal example of this struggle is how we fight to find balance in our Christmas celebrations. In our minds, one side of the equation fights for making Christmas the most fun for our family that it can possibly be. The other side fights for meaning and reminds us of the great opportunity Christmas offers us to reach out to others with love, aid, and the Gospel message. Many of us even struggle to find a balance between time spent focused on Jesus, and time spent focused on Santa and presents. However, if we recognize that it’s normal to struggle with this because both desires are God inspired, then instead of running to one side of the boat or the other and getting our family out of balance, we work towards finding a good mix of both for our family celebrations.

Plan the times of great fun and enjoyment around the moments of meaning, sacrifice and reaching out. Nice gifts for everyone on Christmas morning, but also a family evening packing wonderful things into a shoe box for Operation Christmas Child to deliver to a poor child somewhere in the world. Enjoying your churches Christmas play, but also helping out and inviting someone who hasn’t responded to the Gospel message yet. Putting up lots of fun and beautiful decorations, but also placing a nice manger scene front and center. Serve a large turkey dinner with all the trimmings, but also inviting someone who would not have had a family Christmas dinner otherwise.

When we do these things, get our children involved, and explain why we’re doing them, it helps our children to understand the natural conflict between the joy of living, and the need to focus first on God’s Kingdom and his righteousness.

I really do love manger scenes. I keep mine up all year round. However, the romanticized perfect picture of what Mary and Joseph lived through is not real and can get us thinking that real life, God’s holy calling and purposes are somehow two completely separate things that can’t exist together. It’s not true. Mary and Joseph were very real people who also struggled to live and enjoy their lives and family while they obeyed God, and joined in the fight for billions of souls.

So next time you look at a manger scene, imagine a little dirt on the floor, a look of exhaustion on Mary’s face and a real life struggle in Joseph’s mind, and feel encouraged—you’re in good company!

God understands. He will always listen, understand, and respond to our children, no matter what happens in their lives. God is always right there for them. He understands everything they feel and go through, and he’s always ready to encourage them to go forward, to give them wisdom, and to help them out. God is on their side.

The New Testament book of Hebrews tells us that Jesus is fully sympathetic, understanding even the toughest things we go through because he also went through them. Sometimes we forget that Jesus was once a child and then a teenager. (The Bible even records a time when his parents didn’t understand him!) Jesus had to be obedient to his parents, go to school, do chores, and grow up in a community of friends, neighbors, and family. The single incident from Jesus’ childhood included in the Bible – something that happened when he was twelve years old – seems to have been recorded to show us that Jesus had to grow up just like everyone else.

Our children can take comfort in the fact that when they pray and talk to God, they have someone listening who’s on their side, who completely understands how they feel and what they’re going through, and who’s ready to help.

We have a high priest [Jesus] who can feel it when we are weak and hurting. We have a high priest who has been tempted in every way, just as we are. But he did not sin. So let us boldly approach the throne of grace. Then we will receive mercy. We will find grace to help us when we need it. (Hebrews 4:15-16)

Whatever our troubles are, however besieged we feel, God can and will help.

What should we say then? Since God is on our side, who can be against us? (Romans 8:31)

God understand us, and our children need to be taught likewise to be understanding of others, because when they love, accept, and forgive others, always trying to understand and to give them the benefit of the doubt, they become the kind of people that others feel good about and want to be with. When people know that our children don’t gossip, judge, or say negative things about others, those people can be confident that our kids won’t judge them either. When our children learn to be compassionate and understanding of others, many doors in life will be opened to them. Everyone on this planet wants to be loved, understood, and thought well of. When our children know how to imitate their Father with this character trait, and they imitate him from the heart, many of the people they encounter will want to be their friend, will accept them into their group or community, and will hire them, promote them, and honor and respect them. Life works by understanding and compassion.

But love your enemies. Do good to them. Lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then you will receive a lot in return. And you will be children of the Most High God. He is kind to people who are evil and are not thankful. So have mercy, just as your Father has mercy.

If you do not judge others, then you will not be judged. If you do not find others guilty, then you will not be found guilty. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. (Luke 6: 35-38)

Those who have no sense make fun of their neighbors. But those who have understanding control their tongues. Those who talk about others tell secrets. But those who can be trusted keep things to themselves. (Proverbs 11:12-13)

(RICK OSBORNE / Christian Author, Speaker & Bible Teacher)

The YouTube video attached is one of my all time favorite animated short films. The little blue birds are so into their exclusive ‘only our kind’ club and eliminating all threats to uniformity, that they’re blinded to what’s going on around them.

Children left to themselves tend to act exactly like that. She’s too young to be with us, he’s a boy, she’s my sister not my friend, they aren’t part of our class, club, team, school etc. If we’re not careful we can excuse this behavior as normal childhood antics. However, if we do, these seemingly innocent weeds can lead to full blown exclusive adult attitudes and behaviors such as prejudice and a lack of compassion and empathy for those that are different.Prejudice and exclusive attitudes in adults exist in most cases not because the adults learned to be that way but because they never learned how to be different as kids. Also lets face it, if your kids are always fighting about who gets to be involved and who doesn’t, or if you’re having to constantly get up when company is over to try and solve these problems, it can be a real pain.

Here are four simple steps that will help you transform your kids from the natural tendency of being exclusive, to always being inclusive.

Step #1: Have a family meeting.

If you’ve never tried a family meeting you’re missing out on one of the most effective parenting tools. Kids are just like everyone else, they love to be included and they love to be heard. Putting them in the authority/decision making loop gives them ownership of the decisions made and gives you the ability to hold them accountable to what they agreed to.

When announcing the meeting, explain that the purpose of a family meeting is to address a family problem and to come up with a plan together to solve it. Let everyone know that it’s going to be fun and that ice cream (or what ever treat everyone likes) will be served.

Start the meeting with a short prayer asking for God’s wisdom and help. Next set the tone, every one will be heard and no one will be criticized or blamed etc. Now talk to them about the problem, use specific examples without singling out anyone or being harsh. Take the tact that everyone has been involved in the problem (you could even apologize for not doing this sooner) and together you’re going to solve it.

Step #2: Talk to your kid’s about what the Bible says.

Now it’s imperative that you explain to them why all of this is important. Sorry but, “Because I said so,” doesn’t work in the long term.

You may even begin the discussion by showing them the attached animated bird film as an illustration of the problem.

Let them know that Jesus is our example and he never excluded anyone. Everyone who came to Jesus was welcomed and loved. Even though he was an adult, when his disciples tried to turn kids away he got upset and welcomed them. He spent time with people no one else would spend time with, people who weren’t very nice, people who were crippled and disabled, people who were sick, people who weren’t popular, people who had different religious views and who were from different cities and countries and even lepers who everyone else ran away from.

Explain that Jesus did this because he knew that it’s better to give then to get. One of the greatest secrets to having a happy satisfying life is to spend your time loving and caring for others. When you do, you feel better about yourself and many of the people you love start to love, give and appreciate you back.

Read and discuss this key Bible verse. (Put an emphasis on the idea of putting other people’s needs and feelings ahead of your own.)

‘Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:’ (Philippians 2:3 – 5)

Don’t rush the conversation. Make sure everyone gets it before moving on to the next step.

Step #3: Get everyone to agree on the new rules.

Now it’s time to get everyone’s ideas on how to solve the problem. Center the conversation around concrete examples like, “What are you going to do when your younger sibling wants to play with you?” Be sure to bring a balance. There’s nothing wrong with the older sibling telling the younger sister that he’ll play one game with her or spend fifteen minutes playing with her before he returns to what he was doing.

In our home we set the rule that EVERYONE must be included always and no was to be EXCLUDED ever. Shape your rules out of your discussion and get everyone to agree that you’re going to all work together to be an inclusive family. Then compliment everyone on a great family meeting and for their wonderful input.

Step #4: Enforce the rules.

You must be diligent with this final step. It’s relatively easy for a child to say they understand and agree to change but they need help remembering and applying what they’ve learned in the moment. Make a special effort in the days and weeks to follow to stay on top of every opportunity to teach and reinforce what everyone agreed to.

Praise every effort that is made by your kids to be inclusive and when you hear a problem brewing don’t yell from the other room, go there immediately. Stay calm and remind those involved of the meeting and what they agreed to. Perhaps even remind them that they’re sounding kind of like the little blue birds. Now help them come up with a balanced way to be inclusive and assist them in carrying out the idea.

It’s as simple as that. If you follow these four steps you will be amazed at how the level of peace and cooperation in your family will go up to a wonderful new level. More importantly you’ll be helping to instill wonderful qualities in your children like empathy, selflessness and compassion which will grow with them into adulthood.

(RICK OSBORNE / Christian Author, Speaker & Bible Teacher)

THE GOOD NEWS (The Gospel)

Why this section?

The main thing that all Christians have in common is that they at one point or another became a Christian. Contrary to some funny ideas in our culture, no one is a Christian because they were born into a Christian family or country. You cannot just be a Christian because you go to church and/or you try your best to be a good person. In order to be a Christian you must have, at one point, become one.

We wrote this section for a few very important reasons. First if you cannot recall a point where you made a decision to become a Christian this section will help you understand what being a Christian is and will help you take the next step. Which is VERY important if you plan on successfully raising your children as Christians.

The second reason is a very simple one, this is the most essential thing that every Christian should know and understand yet many do not. Many of us came to Christ by hearing the Good News and understanding it enough to have experience God’s wonderful forgiveness. That is great, however in order to grow as a Christian, in order to share our faith with others, and more importantly for this web site, in order for us to raise Christian children we need to understand it more thoroughly.

So please, get a cup of coffee or tea, sit back and take the time to read and understand this section and come back and re-read it and perhaps look up the scriptures and study it until you understand it enough to explain it to others, especially to your children.

To those of you who are about to click away because you think you already understand the Good News, stop and read it anyway. You may be surprised at how much more there is to the Good News than we often hear.

God’s Plan

It is important that we understand that yes in the beginning God created the heavens and the earth (Genesis 1:1) but before that he had a plan.

The Bible teaches that God realized before he started creating the earth that humankind would make the wrong choice and that he would have to send his own Son to die. (Matthew 25:34, Hebrews 4:3)

God’s Love

Think about the love involved in that. If before you had a child you were told that he would be REALLY difficult and cause you a life of grief but that in the end he would turn around and live happily. Would you be tempted to perhaps skip the pain and just not have children? God chose to still move forward for our sakes.

Think about this, Jesus has always been. He was there before, during and after creation (John 1:1 – 4). The Bible says that, “by him all things were created”. So Jesus chose to create us even though he knew that he would have to suffer in order to bring us back to God.

We can all quote John 3:16, For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son… he made that decision because he loved us before any of us were created.

God’s Responsibility

Some ask why God chose to send his own Son? Why if he planned it all ahead of time would he decide to do it this way? Well one of the reasons lies in the word ‘responsibility.’ Even our laws hold a parent responsible for the actions of their underage children.

If God knew ahead of time that we would go off track and he still (for our sake) decided to go ahead, then he needed to be responsible for that decision and pay the price himself for bringing us back. That is the loving and responsible thing to do.

God’s Step-By-Step Plan

It is important to know that God had this all planned from the start because the Bible is a progressive revelation of God’s plan for humankind. For example the Old Testament writers did not fully understand God’s plan. So when we read the Old Testament it can be difficult to understand unless we look at what we are reading in light of the fact that the writers did not fully understand God, his heart or what he was doing.

When Jesus came he showed us what God was really like and brought the key part of God’s plan into play through his birth, life, death and resurrection. Then the New Testament goes on to explain fully all of what God was doing through the Old Testament and what he did by sending his Son. (God knew that the Bible would start in Genesis and end in Revelation before he started inspiring the first writer. He intended it to be a progressive revelation of himself and unless we read its parts in the context of its whole story and God’s plan we won’t understand it.)

God was never winging it. He knew the beginning from the end and we can be confidant that he is still in control and that we are in the middle of his master plan for us.

God’s Garden

Now that we have established that let’s dive into the story. God created the Heavens and the Earth and he created Adam and Eve in his image and breathed into them his life. He created us to be his children.

God spent time with Adam and Eve in the Garden, loving them, teaching them, directing them as a loving Father with his children.

He blessed them and told them to be fruitful and multiply and subdue and manage the Earth. Although he knew that sin would temporarily interrupt the program he gave us a peek into his ultimate intentions for us by showing us a bit about his relationship with Adam and Eve in the Garden.

We were created like God in many ways as his children and he has awesome things in store for us but the ultimate thing he has for us is a relationship and partnership with him. We were meant to walk with him, learn from him and move out and do great things with him.

However because God loves us he gave us a choice; would we love and trust him and receive his love and help or not?

God’s Love Lets Us Choose

In order to understand sin and where we went off track we need to look closely at what went wrong in the Garden.

What did Satan do in order to lure the first two away? He called God’s integrity and intentions for them into question.

Genesis 3: 2 - 5 The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”  ”You will not surely die,” the serpent said to the woman.  ”For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

Basically, Satan told them that God was lying and that he really could not be trusted to look out for anyone but himself. That is where humankind went off the rails. We chose to doubt the one who lovingly created us, so we disobeyed him instead of trusting him.

We have to understand that, yes, sin is disobeying God, but the root of disobedience (and the key issue) is not trusting God. If we trust his love then we know that what he tells us is always what is best for us. Sin is merely the fruit of doubt and/or distrust.

God’s Separation Plan

God had promised that Adam and Eve would die on the day that they ate the fruit. We know that they did not die physically that day, (although sin caused that to happen eventually as well) so what was God referring to? Paul tells us that the death that took place that day was a spiritual death, (Eph. 2:1) which happened when Adam and Eve listened to the father of lies and chose sin.

Adam and Eve’s separation from God or spiritual death was demonstrated by God sending Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden. God showed us that it was his desire for Humankind to grow with him and fill and manage the Earth. But we chose to do it on our own terms, so we started out to do it on our own, outside the garden.

It is interesting to note that although we separated ourselves from God and we were spiritually dead (separated from God in our hearts) God never left us. Remember, God knew the beginning from the end. When Adam and Eve’s son killed his brother God spoke to him.

Genesis 4:10 – 14 The Lord said, “What have you done? Listen! Your brother’s blood cries out to me from the ground. Now you are under a curse and driven from the ground, which opened its mouth to receive your brother’s blood from your hand. When you work the ground, it will no longer yield its crops for you. You will be a restless wanderer on the earth.”

Cain said to the Lord, “My punishment is more than I can bear. Today you are driving me from the land, and I will be hidden from your presence; I will be a restless wanderer on the earth, and whoever finds me will kill me.”

Notice that Cain added to what God said. Cain said that he would be hidden from God’s presence, God didn’t say that. God loves us all, sin got in the way but he had a solution for that before he started.

When Adam and Eve sinned all humankind became sinful. Their children and all children ever born were born (like their parents) outside of the Garden and separated from God. Paul explains it in Romans saying that by one man’s sin, sin passed to all humankind (Romans 5:12). Sin gave birth to what the Bible calls the sin nature. When we are separated from God, his light, life and presence we are in darkness. Jesus described it by saying that our father is the devil and we end up wanting to carry out his desires (John 8:44).

So just like Adam, Eve and Cain most of humankind has been running from God and his presence, trying to do it their own way, steeped in sin and darkness ever since.

God’s Foundation

At first humankind’s rampage of sin took them so far into darkness that God had to step in like the loving parent of a very disobedient child who needs to be spanked so that they understand that bad behavior has consequences.

God found one guy on the planet that was not actively running from his presence but was choosing despite his sinful nature to trust God. His name was Noah and the flood was the spanking.

Have you ever heard someone refer to the God of the Old Testament and the God of the New Testament? It almost makes it sound like they were two different Gods. But remember the Bible is a progressive revelation of who God is and his plan.

Because humankind had a sinful nature they needed to be treated like a rebellious child and given boundaries with strict consequences to prevent them from completely running amuck while God was putting his plan in place. It was never God’s intention to have this kind of rebellious / punishment relationship with us. It came as a result of our sin and/or lack of trust.

After the flood, humankind (on the whole) went back to their old ways but with a little more caution and with the sinful nature somewhat restrained.

God’s Chosen People

The next part of God’s plan was Abraham. God chose a partner man who became a partner couple, then family and then a partner nation to help bring his plan to pass.

God’s plan was not to single out one nation to be his favorites. It was to single out a nation that would assist him in bringing about his ultimate plan of bringing the world back to him. He told Abraham from the beginning that through his seed the nations of the world would be blessed. Paul tells us that the word ‘seed’ is singular and referred to Christ.

Later God appointed Moses to set up some boundaries and consequences for his people to reveal his holiness and expectations to them and to try and keep them on track. So the Old Testament law was put in place. (Paul described the law as a schoolmaster until Christ came.)

The Old Covenant

The law became the foundation for a covenant (or a legal agreement) between God and Israel.

The deal was simple. God told Israel that if they obeyed the law and did all that God told them to do then he would be their God, which meant he would teach them, provide for them, protect them, lead them etc. So essentially God outlined the deal this way, if you do your part, I’ll do mine (Jeremiah 11:2 – 5).

It is important to see that through the Old Testament story of God’s dealings with Israel, their disobedience is linked with their trust. Just like what we saw in the Garden of Eden. When Israel and/or individual Israelites did not trust God, they disobeyed God.

Again, God knew the beginning from the end and he knew what the results of this covenant would be. The law could not bring people to God because it couldn’t solve the sin nature problem and trust cannot be demanded. So except for a few shining examples of Israelites who chose to trust God, the law failed to bring the Israelites close to God.

God’s New Deal

God spoke through his prophets and announced a New Covenant.

Jeremiah spoke about the New Agreement (Covenant) that was coming and what its terms would be.

“The time is coming,” declares the Lord, “when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah.  It will not be like the covenant I made with their forefathers when I took them by the hand to lead them out of Egypt, because they broke my covenant, though I was a husband to them,” declares the Lord.  ”This is the covenant I will make with the house of Israel after that time,” declares the Lord. “I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people. (Jeremiah 31:31 – 33)

The prophet Ezekiel also wrote about the terms of the new deal.

I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. (Ezekiel 36:25 – 27)

So although the prophets did not fully understand it, they announced that it was God’s plan to somehow move the deal from ‘You do your part then I will do mine,’ to I will do my part and I will change you from the inside out and cause you to do your part as well.

This could only be accomplished if sin could be defeated, the sin nature cured and if somehow we could be brought back into God’s presence and if our performance after that could be guaranteed.

The Bible says that the prophets longed to know how God was going to accomplish his plan. Let’s see how it unfolds.

God’s Only Son

So when the time was right God pulled the switch on the centerpiece of his plan and Jesus, who always was and always will be God, was born to Mary a virgin.

Why a virgin? For a number of reasons. If he was born of a human sperm he would have been human and he would have had the awful human generational virus called the sin nature. He would have been born a sinner.

Jesus being born without an earthly father shows that he was God’s Son and that he was born without sin or the sin nature. Which was essential because if a criminal is sentenced to death another criminal also sentence to death cannot offer to die in his place because his life is already spoken for to pay for his own crimes.

God established in the Garden from the start that the penalty for sin is death, (spiritual and physical). Remember every one of us was born in sin, separated from God, children of Adam and Eve with a sin nature. Before we sinned once we were sinners and sentenced to death. We are not sinners because we sin, we sin because we are sinners.

Jesus’ Life and Death

Jesus was not in the clear yet though. In order to die in our place he needed to be God for the reasons of love and responsibility. He needed to be born sinless and he needed to live a completely sinless life. That was another of God’s purposes for the law. Jesus’ life was to be measured up against it. If he sinned in his life by breaking God’s law (demonstrating mistrust) then again he would be captured by sin like Adam and Eve were.

Fortunately for us, Jesus lived a sinless life and when it was time for him to be falsely accused, beaten and led to the cross, he was ready.

Just before Jesus died he said, “It is finished.” He had done what he had decided to do for us before he created us. He lived, suffered and died in our place. He took responsibility for his children and died in our place for our sins so we wouldn’t have to.

Jesus did not just die for some sin. He died to pay the price for every sin ever committed or would be committed by every human ever past, present and future. That was necessary because his death absolutely stripped sin of its power. It can never again cause an Adam and Eve and remove any of his children from his presence.

Is that justice? Yes, as Paul explains it in Romans five, by one man’s sin (Adam’s) sin ruled over everyone. We were sinners when we were born. But as Paul continues to explain, by the actions of one man (Jesus) sin’s rule was ended. So through Adam we were separated from God through no actions of our own and through what Christ did we can be forgiven and made right with God, again by no actions of our own.

So does that mean that everyone everywhere is saved and on their way to heaven? Sorry, no.

Choosing To Trust God

There is a second part to the famous John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.

We are back where Adam and Eve were. Because Jesus died for us we have the ability to choose to believe and trust God and put our lives in his hands or not. The difference is now, sin cannot take us down because it has been stripped of its power.

Everyone, everywhere now has the ability to choose to become God’s child and have him be their God and Heavenly Father, loving them, directing them, growing, teaching and caring for them.

The words of John 3:16 were spoken by Jesus when he was talking to a Jewish leader named Nicodemus. He also told Nicodemus, “I assure you that unless you are born again, you can never see the Kingdom of God.”

Remember that God told Adam and Eve that they would die the day they ate the forbidden fruit. They died spiritually that day because they were separated from God. Everyone born physically since then has been born spiritually dead, separated from God.

Now through the death and resurrection of Jesus we have the opportunity to reverse the process. When we choose to trust God and believe that he loves us and sent his Son to die for us, he forgives us, removes our sin and reconnects us to him as his child. At that moment our spirit becomes alive again, we are born again.

Paul described the process this way, “For if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” (Romans 10:9)

Jesus said, “I am the way the truth and the life, no man comes to the father but by me.” Some take this as too exclusive. They look at this as an organizational, religious, cultural and sometimes even ethnic exclusive. In other words they view it as a narrow-minded statement that says our group is right and everyone else is wrong.

It is the exact opposite. This famous statement of Christ’s was probably one of the most inclusive statements ever spoken. Remember it was God’s plan to create us as his children and he has awesome things planned for us. He chose the Israelites and gave them an important part to play in his plan to reach all nations.

Jesus died for everyone everywhere no matter what their ethnicity, religious upbringing, culture, no matter their what their sin or past or life or anything else all are invited to come. Jesus was opening up the door to absolutely everyone and he wanted everyone to know how to get in. Not how to get into a different culture or a certain church but how to be forgiven and become a child of God.

God’s Invitation

If you have never been born again you are invited right now. No matter who you are, where you are from, what you have done or what you have been through. NO ONE IS EXCLDED. God loves you and his Son Jesus died in your place. You can pray right now no matter where you are. Tell God that you believe in his Son Jesus, ask him to forgive you and make you his child. Put it in your own words, he knows your heart, he will respond to you like a loving father running to meet a son or daughter that he has not seen in awhile and misses terribly.

If you just prayed that you are a child of God, your sins have been forgiven and God has connected you with himself by putting his Spirit in your heart. He now wants to start that relationship with you that he gave us a glimpse of in the Garden. He wants to show you his love, guide and lead you, teach you, grow you and care for you. He wants to hear from you in prayer and start walking with you in your life. You are now part of the New Covenant.

Back In The Garden

We have talked earlier about the Old Covenant, and what the prophets said about the New one coming. In the Old God said you do your part and I will do mine.

The prophets said that in the New Covenant God would take away our hearts of stone, give us new hearts and put his Spirit inside us. They said that he would be our God and we would be his people, that God would write his laws on our hearts and that he would cause us to walk in his way.

Paul said that the Good News (Gospel) is the power of God at work saving everyone who believes. He goes on to say that this Good News tells us how God makes us right in his sight and that this is accomplished from start to finish by faith. (Romans 1:16 – 17)

Here is the real Good News. Jesus not only died to get your ticket to heaven punched, through Christ’s death and resurrection he has called you into his presence to be his child and he is not just waiting to see if you are going to live up to his expectations. As you trust him he has promised to teach you and change you from the inside out and cause you to walk in his way and to become all that he originally created you to be. In the New Deal he has promised to do his part and he has promised to cause you to do yours as you trust and allow him. The Good News is from first to last, the same power of God that brought you into his Kingdom will work in you and take you victoriously through this life no matter what great things and hardships you encounter.

You are better than back where Adam and Eve were in the Garden. You have the choice again to walk with God and go out with him, learning from him and expanding the Garden instead of having to leave it. Only through what Jesus did, you cannot fail.

God’s Win/Win Deal

God’s plan is so awesome, he had to give us a choice because he loves us and even though he could see that we would walk away for a time and that he would have to suffer, he knew that it would be worth it for us in the long run so he went ahead.

But he planned it so that the very thing that could trip us up, sin, could be made powerless forever. Then to ensure that even our own apathy or inability would keep us from all of what God has for us for all of eternity he undertook to not only guarantee to do his part but to work in us and cause us to do our part!

No wonder the Bible says that God is love!

Now What?

I started this section by stating why reading and understanding the Gospel is so important to Christian Parenting. If you have prayed and asked God to make you his child you already can see how essential this step is to you and your children.

If this has happened to you please email us and let us know. But more importantly if you know any Christians that are close to you, tell them and let them help you get started in your walk with God.

If you are a parent, stepparent, grandparent or even planning on being a parent it is very important that you know how to help your children/stepchildren and/or grandchildren understand these foundational truths.

You should be able to get started just because you now understand it more thoroughly.

However if you want to know how to put it simply in a way that kids will understand and also to be prepared for their follow up questions, I highly recommend the book ‘801 Questions Children Ask About God.”

You can sit down with this book with your kids and find the answers to pretty much any question they have about Jesus and their salvation. In doing so you will start those of your children who have not yet become Christians on the road to that decision. And for those who are already Christians you will help strengthen their Faith and put them on the road to understanding it more thoroughly and being able to share it with others.

Happy Christian Parenting!