The Bible

In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, ‘Give me a light!’ and someone did. Then God made the world.

He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren’t embarrassed because mirrors hadn’t been invented yet.

Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden. Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn’t have cars.

Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel.

Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.

One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.

After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.

Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh’s people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable.

God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments. These include: don’t lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor’s stuff. Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother.

One of Moses’ best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.

After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn’t sound very wise to me.

After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore. There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don’t have to worry about them.

After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of The New. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying to me, ‘Close the door! Were you born in a barn?’ It would be nice to say, ‘As a matter of fact, I was.’)

During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Republicans.

Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.

Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount.

But the Republicans and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn’t stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.

Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.

The End

Funny, right? One thing I noticed while reading it was that despite the humorous gaffs, this kid’s grasp of the overall story of the Bible is quite good. One of the first things we need to teach our children about the Bible is the big story from Genesis to Revelation. Once they understand that, it’s easier to make sense of the individual stories because they have a context to place them in.

Read the retelling with your kids and have a little fun seeing if they can correct the mistakes. It’s an enjoyable way to help them start to grasp God’s big story.

THE GOOD NEWS (The Gospel)

Why this section?

The main thing that all Christians have in common is that they at one point or another became a Christian. Contrary to some funny ideas in our culture, no one is a Christian because they were born into a Christian family or country. You cannot just be a Christian because you go to church and/or you try your best to be a good person. In order to be a Christian you must have, at one point, become one.

We wrote this section for a few very important reasons. First if you cannot recall a point where you made a decision to become a Christian this section will help you understand what being a Christian is and will help you take the next step. Which is VERY important if you plan on successfully raising your children as Christians.

The second reason is a very simple one, this is the most essential thing that every Christian should know and understand yet many do not. Many of us came to Christ by hearing the Good News and understanding it enough to have experience God’s wonderful forgiveness. That is great, however in order to grow as a Christian, in order to share our faith with others, and more importantly for this web site, in order for us to raise Christian children we need to understand it more thoroughly.

So please, get a cup of coffee or tea, sit back and take the time to read and understand this section and come back and re-read it and perhaps look up the scriptures and study it until you understand it enough to explain it to others, especially to your children.

To those of you who are about to click away because you think you already understand the Good News, stop and read it anyway. You may be surprised at how much more there is to the Good News than we often hear.

God’s Plan

It is important that we understand that yes in the beginning God created the heavens and the earth (Genesis 1:1) but before that he had a plan.

The Bible teaches that God realized before he started creating the earth that humankind would make the wrong choice and that he would have to send his own Son to die. (Matthew 25:34, Hebrews 4:3)

God’s Love

Think about the love involved in that. If before you had a child you were told that he would be REALLY difficult and cause you a life of grief but that in the end he would turn around and live happily. Would you be tempted to perhaps skip the pain and just not have children? God chose to still move forward for our sakes.

Think about this, Jesus has always been. He was there before, during and after creation (John 1:1 – 4). The Bible says that, “by him all things were created”. So Jesus chose to create us even though he knew that he would have to suffer in order to bring us back to God.

We can all quote John 3:16, For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son… he made that decision because he loved us before any of us were created.

God’s Responsibility

Some ask why God chose to send his own Son? Why if he planned it all ahead of time would he decide to do it this way? Well one of the reasons lies in the word ‘responsibility.’ Even our laws hold a parent responsible for the actions of their underage children.

If God knew ahead of time that we would go off track and he still (for our sake) decided to go ahead, then he needed to be responsible for that decision and pay the price himself for bringing us back. That is the loving and responsible thing to do.

God’s Step-By-Step Plan

It is important to know that God had this all planned from the start because the Bible is a progressive revelation of God’s plan for humankind. For example the Old Testament writers did not fully understand God’s plan. So when we read the Old Testament it can be difficult to understand unless we look at what we are reading in light of the fact that the writers did not fully understand God, his heart or what he was doing.

When Jesus came he showed us what God was really like and brought the key part of God’s plan into play through his birth, life, death and resurrection. Then the New Testament goes on to explain fully all of what God was doing through the Old Testament and what he did by sending his Son. (God knew that the Bible would start in Genesis and end in Revelation before he started inspiring the first writer. He intended it to be a progressive revelation of himself and unless we read its parts in the context of its whole story and God’s plan we won’t understand it.)

God was never winging it. He knew the beginning from the end and we can be confidant that he is still in control and that we are in the middle of his master plan for us.

God’s Garden

Now that we have established that let’s dive into the story. God created the Heavens and the Earth and he created Adam and Eve in his image and breathed into them his life. He created us to be his children.

God spent time with Adam and Eve in the Garden, loving them, teaching them, directing them as a loving Father with his children.

He blessed them and told them to be fruitful and multiply and subdue and manage the Earth. Although he knew that sin would temporarily interrupt the program he gave us a peek into his ultimate intentions for us by showing us a bit about his relationship with Adam and Eve in the Garden.

We were created like God in many ways as his children and he has awesome things in store for us but the ultimate thing he has for us is a relationship and partnership with him. We were meant to walk with him, learn from him and move out and do great things with him.

However because God loves us he gave us a choice; would we love and trust him and receive his love and help or not?

God’s Love Lets Us Choose

In order to understand sin and where we went off track we need to look closely at what went wrong in the Garden.

What did Satan do in order to lure the first two away? He called God’s integrity and intentions for them into question.

Genesis 3: 2 - 5 The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”  ”You will not surely die,” the serpent said to the woman.  ”For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

Basically, Satan told them that God was lying and that he really could not be trusted to look out for anyone but himself. That is where humankind went off the rails. We chose to doubt the one who lovingly created us, so we disobeyed him instead of trusting him.

We have to understand that, yes, sin is disobeying God, but the root of disobedience (and the key issue) is not trusting God. If we trust his love then we know that what he tells us is always what is best for us. Sin is merely the fruit of doubt and/or distrust.

God’s Separation Plan

God had promised that Adam and Eve would die on the day that they ate the fruit. We know that they did not die physically that day, (although sin caused that to happen eventually as well) so what was God referring to? Paul tells us that the death that took place that day was a spiritual death, (Eph. 2:1) which happened when Adam and Eve listened to the father of lies and chose sin.

Adam and Eve’s separation from God or spiritual death was demonstrated by God sending Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden. God showed us that it was his desire for Humankind to grow with him and fill and manage the Earth. But we chose to do it on our own terms, so we started out to do it on our own, outside the garden.

It is interesting to note that although we separated ourselves from God and we were spiritually dead (separated from God in our hearts) God never left us. Remember, God knew the beginning from the end. When Adam and Eve’s son killed his brother God spoke to him.

Genesis 4:10 – 14 The Lord said, “What have you done? Listen! Your brother’s blood cries out to me from the ground. Now you are under a curse and driven from the ground, which opened its mouth to receive your brother’s blood from your hand. When you work the ground, it will no longer yield its crops for you. You will be a restless wanderer on the earth.”

Cain said to the Lord, “My punishment is more than I can bear. Today you are driving me from the land, and I will be hidden from your presence; I will be a restless wanderer on the earth, and whoever finds me will kill me.”

Notice that Cain added to what God said. Cain said that he would be hidden from God’s presence, God didn’t say that. God loves us all, sin got in the way but he had a solution for that before he started.

When Adam and Eve sinned all humankind became sinful. Their children and all children ever born were born (like their parents) outside of the Garden and separated from God. Paul explains it in Romans saying that by one man’s sin, sin passed to all humankind (Romans 5:12). Sin gave birth to what the Bible calls the sin nature. When we are separated from God, his light, life and presence we are in darkness. Jesus described it by saying that our father is the devil and we end up wanting to carry out his desires (John 8:44).

So just like Adam, Eve and Cain most of humankind has been running from God and his presence, trying to do it their own way, steeped in sin and darkness ever since.

God’s Foundation

At first humankind’s rampage of sin took them so far into darkness that God had to step in like the loving parent of a very disobedient child who needs to be spanked so that they understand that bad behavior has consequences.

God found one guy on the planet that was not actively running from his presence but was choosing despite his sinful nature to trust God. His name was Noah and the flood was the spanking.

Have you ever heard someone refer to the God of the Old Testament and the God of the New Testament? It almost makes it sound like they were two different Gods. But remember the Bible is a progressive revelation of who God is and his plan.

Because humankind had a sinful nature they needed to be treated like a rebellious child and given boundaries with strict consequences to prevent them from completely running amuck while God was putting his plan in place. It was never God’s intention to have this kind of rebellious / punishment relationship with us. It came as a result of our sin and/or lack of trust.

After the flood, humankind (on the whole) went back to their old ways but with a little more caution and with the sinful nature somewhat restrained.

God’s Chosen People

The next part of God’s plan was Abraham. God chose a partner man who became a partner couple, then family and then a partner nation to help bring his plan to pass.

God’s plan was not to single out one nation to be his favorites. It was to single out a nation that would assist him in bringing about his ultimate plan of bringing the world back to him. He told Abraham from the beginning that through his seed the nations of the world would be blessed. Paul tells us that the word ‘seed’ is singular and referred to Christ.

Later God appointed Moses to set up some boundaries and consequences for his people to reveal his holiness and expectations to them and to try and keep them on track. So the Old Testament law was put in place. (Paul described the law as a schoolmaster until Christ came.)

The Old Covenant

The law became the foundation for a covenant (or a legal agreement) between God and Israel.

The deal was simple. God told Israel that if they obeyed the law and did all that God told them to do then he would be their God, which meant he would teach them, provide for them, protect them, lead them etc. So essentially God outlined the deal this way, if you do your part, I’ll do mine (Jeremiah 11:2 – 5).

It is important to see that through the Old Testament story of God’s dealings with Israel, their disobedience is linked with their trust. Just like what we saw in the Garden of Eden. When Israel and/or individual Israelites did not trust God, they disobeyed God.

Again, God knew the beginning from the end and he knew what the results of this covenant would be. The law could not bring people to God because it couldn’t solve the sin nature problem and trust cannot be demanded. So except for a few shining examples of Israelites who chose to trust God, the law failed to bring the Israelites close to God.

God’s New Deal

God spoke through his prophets and announced a New Covenant.

Jeremiah spoke about the New Agreement (Covenant) that was coming and what its terms would be.

“The time is coming,” declares the Lord, “when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah.  It will not be like the covenant I made with their forefathers when I took them by the hand to lead them out of Egypt, because they broke my covenant, though I was a husband to them,” declares the Lord.  ”This is the covenant I will make with the house of Israel after that time,” declares the Lord. “I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people. (Jeremiah 31:31 – 33)

The prophet Ezekiel also wrote about the terms of the new deal.

I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. (Ezekiel 36:25 – 27)

So although the prophets did not fully understand it, they announced that it was God’s plan to somehow move the deal from ‘You do your part then I will do mine,’ to I will do my part and I will change you from the inside out and cause you to do your part as well.

This could only be accomplished if sin could be defeated, the sin nature cured and if somehow we could be brought back into God’s presence and if our performance after that could be guaranteed.

The Bible says that the prophets longed to know how God was going to accomplish his plan. Let’s see how it unfolds.

God’s Only Son

So when the time was right God pulled the switch on the centerpiece of his plan and Jesus, who always was and always will be God, was born to Mary a virgin.

Why a virgin? For a number of reasons. If he was born of a human sperm he would have been human and he would have had the awful human generational virus called the sin nature. He would have been born a sinner.

Jesus being born without an earthly father shows that he was God’s Son and that he was born without sin or the sin nature. Which was essential because if a criminal is sentenced to death another criminal also sentence to death cannot offer to die in his place because his life is already spoken for to pay for his own crimes.

God established in the Garden from the start that the penalty for sin is death, (spiritual and physical). Remember every one of us was born in sin, separated from God, children of Adam and Eve with a sin nature. Before we sinned once we were sinners and sentenced to death. We are not sinners because we sin, we sin because we are sinners.

Jesus’ Life and Death

Jesus was not in the clear yet though. In order to die in our place he needed to be God for the reasons of love and responsibility. He needed to be born sinless and he needed to live a completely sinless life. That was another of God’s purposes for the law. Jesus’ life was to be measured up against it. If he sinned in his life by breaking God’s law (demonstrating mistrust) then again he would be captured by sin like Adam and Eve were.

Fortunately for us, Jesus lived a sinless life and when it was time for him to be falsely accused, beaten and led to the cross, he was ready.

Just before Jesus died he said, “It is finished.” He had done what he had decided to do for us before he created us. He lived, suffered and died in our place. He took responsibility for his children and died in our place for our sins so we wouldn’t have to.

Jesus did not just die for some sin. He died to pay the price for every sin ever committed or would be committed by every human ever past, present and future. That was necessary because his death absolutely stripped sin of its power. It can never again cause an Adam and Eve and remove any of his children from his presence.

Is that justice? Yes, as Paul explains it in Romans five, by one man’s sin (Adam’s) sin ruled over everyone. We were sinners when we were born. But as Paul continues to explain, by the actions of one man (Jesus) sin’s rule was ended. So through Adam we were separated from God through no actions of our own and through what Christ did we can be forgiven and made right with God, again by no actions of our own.

So does that mean that everyone everywhere is saved and on their way to heaven? Sorry, no.

Choosing To Trust God

There is a second part to the famous John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.

We are back where Adam and Eve were. Because Jesus died for us we have the ability to choose to believe and trust God and put our lives in his hands or not. The difference is now, sin cannot take us down because it has been stripped of its power.

Everyone, everywhere now has the ability to choose to become God’s child and have him be their God and Heavenly Father, loving them, directing them, growing, teaching and caring for them.

The words of John 3:16 were spoken by Jesus when he was talking to a Jewish leader named Nicodemus. He also told Nicodemus, “I assure you that unless you are born again, you can never see the Kingdom of God.”

Remember that God told Adam and Eve that they would die the day they ate the forbidden fruit. They died spiritually that day because they were separated from God. Everyone born physically since then has been born spiritually dead, separated from God.

Now through the death and resurrection of Jesus we have the opportunity to reverse the process. When we choose to trust God and believe that he loves us and sent his Son to die for us, he forgives us, removes our sin and reconnects us to him as his child. At that moment our spirit becomes alive again, we are born again.

Paul described the process this way, “For if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” (Romans 10:9)

Jesus said, “I am the way the truth and the life, no man comes to the father but by me.” Some take this as too exclusive. They look at this as an organizational, religious, cultural and sometimes even ethnic exclusive. In other words they view it as a narrow-minded statement that says our group is right and everyone else is wrong.

It is the exact opposite. This famous statement of Christ’s was probably one of the most inclusive statements ever spoken. Remember it was God’s plan to create us as his children and he has awesome things planned for us. He chose the Israelites and gave them an important part to play in his plan to reach all nations.

Jesus died for everyone everywhere no matter what their ethnicity, religious upbringing, culture, no matter their what their sin or past or life or anything else all are invited to come. Jesus was opening up the door to absolutely everyone and he wanted everyone to know how to get in. Not how to get into a different culture or a certain church but how to be forgiven and become a child of God.

God’s Invitation

If you have never been born again you are invited right now. No matter who you are, where you are from, what you have done or what you have been through. NO ONE IS EXCLDED. God loves you and his Son Jesus died in your place. You can pray right now no matter where you are. Tell God that you believe in his Son Jesus, ask him to forgive you and make you his child. Put it in your own words, he knows your heart, he will respond to you like a loving father running to meet a son or daughter that he has not seen in awhile and misses terribly.

If you just prayed that you are a child of God, your sins have been forgiven and God has connected you with himself by putting his Spirit in your heart. He now wants to start that relationship with you that he gave us a glimpse of in the Garden. He wants to show you his love, guide and lead you, teach you, grow you and care for you. He wants to hear from you in prayer and start walking with you in your life. You are now part of the New Covenant.

Back In The Garden

We have talked earlier about the Old Covenant, and what the prophets said about the New one coming. In the Old God said you do your part and I will do mine.

The prophets said that in the New Covenant God would take away our hearts of stone, give us new hearts and put his Spirit inside us. They said that he would be our God and we would be his people, that God would write his laws on our hearts and that he would cause us to walk in his way.

Paul said that the Good News (Gospel) is the power of God at work saving everyone who believes. He goes on to say that this Good News tells us how God makes us right in his sight and that this is accomplished from start to finish by faith. (Romans 1:16 – 17)

Here is the real Good News. Jesus not only died to get your ticket to heaven punched, through Christ’s death and resurrection he has called you into his presence to be his child and he is not just waiting to see if you are going to live up to his expectations. As you trust him he has promised to teach you and change you from the inside out and cause you to walk in his way and to become all that he originally created you to be. In the New Deal he has promised to do his part and he has promised to cause you to do yours as you trust and allow him. The Good News is from first to last, the same power of God that brought you into his Kingdom will work in you and take you victoriously through this life no matter what great things and hardships you encounter.

You are better than back where Adam and Eve were in the Garden. You have the choice again to walk with God and go out with him, learning from him and expanding the Garden instead of having to leave it. Only through what Jesus did, you cannot fail.

God’s Win/Win Deal

God’s plan is so awesome, he had to give us a choice because he loves us and even though he could see that we would walk away for a time and that he would have to suffer, he knew that it would be worth it for us in the long run so he went ahead.

But he planned it so that the very thing that could trip us up, sin, could be made powerless forever. Then to ensure that even our own apathy or inability would keep us from all of what God has for us for all of eternity he undertook to not only guarantee to do his part but to work in us and cause us to do our part!

No wonder the Bible says that God is love!

Now What?

I started this section by stating why reading and understanding the Gospel is so important to Christian Parenting. If you have prayed and asked God to make you his child you already can see how essential this step is to you and your children.

If this has happened to you please email us and let us know. But more importantly if you know any Christians that are close to you, tell them and let them help you get started in your walk with God.

If you are a parent, stepparent, grandparent or even planning on being a parent it is very important that you know how to help your children/stepchildren and/or grandchildren understand these foundational truths.

You should be able to get started just because you now understand it more thoroughly.

However if you want to know how to put it simply in a way that kids will understand and also to be prepared for their follow up questions, I highly recommend the book ‘801 Questions Children Ask About God.”

You can sit down with this book with your kids and find the answers to pretty much any question they have about Jesus and their salvation. In doing so you will start those of your children who have not yet become Christians on the road to that decision. And for those who are already Christians you will help strengthen their Faith and put them on the road to understanding it more thoroughly and being able to share it with others.

Happy Christian Parenting!

I remember hearing this saying when I was young and my Granny was still alive. I remember wondering why (if this saying were true as a fact as well as a metaphor) she would hang her unmentionables on our clothes line when she visited. Now I should mention that my Gran was a wonderful lady but she was a very large woman and her private garments would attract attention. However, for some reason she seemed oblivious to this fact.

I’m telling this story because I believe that somehow, somewhere along the way, we’ve adopted the idea that what happens behind closed family doors is no one’s business but our own. Which has again somehow led to the idea that we are free to behave in ways in our homes that we would not act in public.

Although I’ve seen this in many Christian homes, it is not God’s idea of how a Christian home should function. Being a Christian is about who we are and who we’re becoming, it’s not just about what we believe. As we submit our lives to God, he by his grace and the work of the Holy Spirit begins (and never stops) to change our hearts and that change should be reflected in our behavior. The first place that our changed behavior should show up is in our closest relationships – in our family relationships.

The Apostle Paul wrote these words. “Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.” (1 Timothy 5:1, 2)

Notice that Paul assumes that our best behavior would be used on our family members and he therefore exhorts Timothy (and us) to treat other Christians how we treat our family. Would it go over well if you treated the people at church the same way you’ve allowed yourself to treat your spouse and/or children from time to time in the privacy of your own home?

In the same letter to Timothy, Paul outlines the qualifications for leaders in the church and reveals that what goes on at home either qualifies or disqualifies you for leadership. Would others question your ability to minister to others if they saw a video (taken secretly) of you at home?

The only Biblical application I can see for ‘Don’t air our family’s dirty laundry’ is that we shouldn’t gossip about our family members or maliciously share their mistakes with others. Our homes should be a safe place to grow and make mistakes but it was never meant to be a place where we can behave badly because we’ve been led to believe that a Las Vegas like slogan applies, ‘what happens at home stays at home’.

Try this, next time you’re reading the Bible, with each instruction ask yourself “Am I living this at home?” If you’re not, stop and pray and ask for God’s help. Also start checking your home behavior, if you’re about to scream or get unreasonable stop and think if you’d speak that way to your pastor. If you’re doing something that you wouldn’t want to talk about Sunday morning then think about why you’d even consider behaving that way in front of the ones you love the most.

Perhaps my Granny knew this to be true and was reversing the metaphor when she hung out her large unmentionables to dry. Or perhaps she just wanted dry unmentionables. I’ll ask her when I get to heaven.

For more practical and Biblical Christian Parenting ideas we recommend the Christian resource, ‘Teaching Kids About God’.

(RICK OSBORNE / Christian Author, Speaker & Bible Teacher)

In the very beginning of creation God announced that it wasn’t good for man to be alone. That announcement led to the first marriage, the first family, the first friends and the first community.

God created us to function in and be blessed by relationships. Not only in relationships with others but also in a relationship with him.

Jesus stated that the two greatest commandments were to love God and also to love others. Since God is love and therefore void of selfishness, his two greatest commandments should carry with them the greatest secrets of an awesome life and they do. Having a wonderful growing relationship with God and wonderful growing relationships with others is truly the biggest key to an awesome life. Loving and being loved.God wants us to focus on and be blessed by developing and strengthening our relationships and one way that God teaches us is by example. Jesus said that if you saw him you saw the Father and the writer of the book of Hebrews wrote that Jesus was the visible image of the invisible God.

So what can we learn from Jesus’ example. He washed his disciples feet at the last supper, a servants job, and told his disciples (us) to follow his example. He laid his life down for his family, his friends, his people, everyone. He not only gave up his life but he also lived a sacrificial life, ministering to, loving, teaching, helping, healing and giving to those around him.

In looking at these truths I’ve realized that we can gain huge insights into how relationships can be strengthened and our relational skills improved just by looking at how God relates to us and how he asks us to relate to him. Specifically, since God invented parents and also tells us that he is our heavenly parent, I’ve seen how we can learn much from God’s example that can help us be better parents.

Here’s one simple example that changed the way I spoke with my children (and others) and made a huge difference in my relationships.

In Psalm 100:4 the psalmist tells us to enter God’s gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise. Lets just look at the first part, enter his gates with thanksgiving. When we begin to speak with God about anything, he instructs us to start out by thanking him. Why, because he’s stuck on himself and his ego needs a boost? Hardly, he’s perfect and he doesn’t change. God is love, this instruction is for our good not his. So break it down, what happens when we start our prayer with honest, personal thanksgiving? It puts things in perspective and gets us focusing on God’s goodness and ability instead of our problems and thereby increases our Faith and expectancy.

Now how can we translate that relational principle to our other relationships? Picture the last time you were annoyed at your kids or your spouse, how did it go? Often what we do when something needs to be communicated with those around us is that we just jump right in and start with our agenda. If it’s something negative, the person we are aiming at will tend to become immediately defensive because they feel attacked and not affirmed. Once the object of our verbal missiles gets defensive, we up the ante to prove the validity of our complaint or issue and often an argument is born.

What if we were able to start each conversation by entering our children’s gates (their presence, interrupting their thoughts with ours) with thanksgiving. Instead of, “I thought I told you to do the dishes” how about, “Sweetheart, you’re a wonderful son and always quite helpful. thank you! I was just wondering when you were going to get the dishes done because I’d prefer it if they were done more sooner than later.”

Two things happen when you approach other people’s gates with thanksgiving. First you change your focus. Instead of just stewing on what’s bugging you, you’ve reminded yourself of good things which make you happy in your relationship. This will take the edge and accusation out of your voice. Next, your child will have no need to feel defensive because your concern has been brought to him on a pillow of love and support. Now he’ll tend to want to affirm your belief in him and respond in kindness. Instead of an argument starting that could tear down your relationship, your relationship will be strengthened.

It’s a simple concept and although it takes awhile to become consistent with, you will see a huge change in your children’s ability to listen every time you enter their gates with thankfulness.

“Dad, why can’t we go to heaven to see what it’s like, then come back home?”

“Dad, if God wants us to get to know Him, why doesn’t He let us see Him?”

All of the above are questions that my children have asked me. Why do I remember those out of all the questions they have ever asked? Well, because trying to answer those three questions is not something you easily forget.

Over the years, I’ve discovered that as difficult as some of my children’s questions are, taking the time to answer them is the most time-effective way to teach them. When children ask a question, all of their learning receptors are turned up to full. They’re curious. They’re thinking about it. They’re truly listening. They want to hear what you have to say. Taking a few moments to answer their questions can be more effective than hour-long sermons or lectures.

If you don’t know the answer to a question, take a few minutes to look up the answer with them or call someone who you think world know. Be careful that you don’t make my mistake, though. Once one of my daughters said something like, “I wonder why God made me?” After about 10 minutes of attempting to explain I came up for breath. She was looking quite perplexed. When I asked her what was wrong, she said, “Dad, I didn’t want you to answer. I was just saying that I sometimes think about it.”

I still answer their questions, but now I make sure they’re looking for an answer, and I keep it short and wait for follow-up questions.

For more quick and easy parenting tips for bringing change to your family, we recommend “Parenting at the Speed of Life”

(RICK OSBORNE / Christian Author, Speaker & Bible Teacher)