Encouragement From the Real Manger Scene

Don’t you adore the beauty of a manger scene: Mother, husband and child all looking so incredibly serene, backlit by the luminous soft glow of lamplight. Comfortably cuddled in a rustic, but poetically picture-perfect stable. Wholly contented, well-groomed farm animals all gazing on in rapt attention alongside a reverent audience of admiring onlookers. Everyone dressed in their finest garments, all colored with the same delicate and matching peaceful pastel colors. It’s all so perfect and romantic!

If you’ve already detected a gentle note of sarcasm, you need to hear that I know that these beautiful scenes are the work of well meaning and talented artists, who are merely trying to capture the wonder of this amazing moment.

However, most of us know that the wise men didn’t arrive until close to two years later, the stable was likely a not so picture-perfect cave cut into the hillside, the shepherds had just run from the fields and were very possibly not wearing their temple-best, and the animals were more than probably smelly and not quite so attentive.

Granted, the luminous back lighting is probably accurate.

How about Mom and Dad? Although I’m sure that Mary and Joseph were elated by the confirmations that God sent through the local visitors and in awe of their first born child, was everything parent-perfect in Bethlehem? First you have to remember that Mary and Joseph were normal people and regular parents who struggled with many of the same issues that we struggle with.

Now, if you can, put aside the traditional imagery and try to imagine yourself in Mary and Joseph’s sandals, and see if you can get an idea of what things were really like for these new parents. Honestly ask yourself, what would you be going through and feeling if this had been you.

Although accepting, Mary and Joseph were probably struggling with the fact that their childhood visions of marriage, family and happily-ever-after had been irretrievably altered by God’s agenda for the planet. Mary was close to full term and in that stage where, with everything inside her, she wanted the baby to be outside of her. They probably feared for the lives of Mary and the baby because there were some who thought that Mary should be stoned because her baby was conceived out of wedlock. Also, their story about the virgin birth was most likely met with skepticism even amongst those who knew them, which probably made them feel largely alone.

Then according to the decree of a government that their people were oppressed by, they had to hop on a donkey, possibly putting their new family in jeopardy and make a long trip through the hot desert to go be involved in a census—and who likes those things!

When they finally reached this small, seedy town (according to history, it wasn’t the nicest place to be) far, far away, they would have been feeling the heat, stress and exhaustion from the journey. On top of all that, they were very likely aware that their baby would soon make an appearance and they couldn’t find a vacancy anywhere. (Stop, are you seriously imagining what you’d be going through and what this real mom and dad would be feeling or have you slipped back into the romanticized traditions? Work with me here.)

You’re feeling alone and probably outcast. You’re hot, smelly and tired from a long road trip on a donkey that you did not want to take. Your baby is about to arrive, your probably in need of some home cooked food, and you’re looking forward to a comfortable Inn. Instead, you’re ushered into a cave where the locals bed down their animals. You get settled in, probably hoping that this is all very temporary, and then go into labor. To your dismay, there’s nowhere else to go and there’s no one around to help with the delivery. So your husband is elected in the heat of the moment to deliver your child in the modern-day equivalent of a barn.

Finally the baby arrives. You’re exhausted and ready for some alone time with your beautiful child. You’re also ready for a week’s worth of sleep, hopefully a bath and just then a crowd of sweaty shepherds show up for a visit!

Mary and Joseph were regular people and normal parents. Although I don’t see much of a lesson in the traditional romanticized manger scene, I see a wonderful example for parents today in the reality of what probably happened.

Let me give you a little background. Genesis records that when God first made everything he said it was good. In the beginning, before sin, it was all about God’s blessings, loving him and loving others, marriage, children, eating, working, living and laughing. God created life for us and created within us the matching desire for all of the wonderful joys of this life.

Unfortunately, the record of Genesis didn’t leave us there. Adam and Eve disobeyed God and brought sin and its devastating effects into all of our hearts and lives and into this world.

Jesus repaired what Adam and Eve broke. He gave his life so that everyone of us would again have the opportunity to have our sins forgiven and to live in our heavenly Father’s presence and blessings. However, we still live in a fallen world full of sin and its effects and we’re living in the middle of a war for the souls of billions of our fellow humans. God’s desire is to see all men saved and that desire has been placed in our hearts by God’s Holy Spirit.

So now we live with two God given desires that can often seem to be in conflict. The desire to fully live and enjoy life, and the desire to sacrifice all of that in order to reach out to a broken world.

Jesus addressed this conflict when he called us to seek first his Kingdom and his righteousness, and then told us that all of these things (the things of life that he created for us) would be given to us as well. (Matthew 6:33) Have you ever thought of this verse in the context of parenting and family life?

Notice that he didn’t say that life, children, family etc. were to be ignored or not enjoyed, but only that his Kingdom priorities had to be put first. Which of course makes sense. If you were to live in a country at war, your first difficult priority would be to secure your country otherwise how could you and your family possibly enjoy your life.

Today as Christian people and parents, we struggle weekly with the same conflict and it can be tough to find the balance. We want our children to have a fun life and to be happy, but we don’t want them to get mixed up in the world. We’d like to think that they can enjoy all of the world’s multimedia offerings and not be adversely affected, but we know better. We all love to sleep in on the weekends, but we know that attending church is part of God’s plan for strengthening our families and preparing us for the battle. Each one of us would like to see our children with comfortable, high paying careers, but we also know that it’s God’s will for their lives that’s more important. We are regularly faced with life choices that have us choosing between what we think could give our families a better life, and what is right or what we feel God wants us to do.

Until we realize that the conflict is normal, we sometimes beat ourselves up about it and think that if we were just better Christians, we wouldn’t struggle with these issues. The truth is God wants to bless us and have us learn, laugh, love and live our lives full of his joy and presence, but we are also called to further his Kingdom and he understands that the two often seem to be in conflict.

It’s not always easy to live life or find the right balance when we live with a Wal-Mart flyer in one hand and a book on ‘How Your Family Can Help Win the World for Christ’ in the other. It’s naturally a struggle and every one of us parents (not just you) is trying to find the balance everyday!

An ideal example of this struggle is how we fight to find balance in our Christmas celebrations. In our minds, one side of the equation fights for making Christmas the most fun for our family that it can possibly be. The other side fights for meaning and reminds us of the great opportunity Christmas offers us to reach out to others with love, aid, and the Gospel message. Many of us even struggle to find a balance between time spent focused on Jesus, and time spent focused on Santa and presents. However, if we recognize that it’s normal to struggle with this because both desires are God inspired, then instead of running to one side of the boat or the other and getting our family out of balance, we work towards finding a good mix of both for our family celebrations.

Plan the times of great fun and enjoyment around the moments of meaning, sacrifice and reaching out. Nice gifts for everyone on Christmas morning, but also a family evening packing wonderful things into a shoe box for Operation Christmas Child to deliver to a poor child somewhere in the world. Enjoying your churches Christmas play, but also helping out and inviting someone who hasn’t responded to the Gospel message yet. Putting up lots of fun and beautiful decorations, but also placing a nice manger scene front and center. Serve a large turkey dinner with all the trimmings, but also inviting someone who would not have had a family Christmas dinner otherwise.

When we do these things, get our children involved, and explain why we’re doing them, it helps our children to understand the natural conflict between the joy of living, and the need to focus first on God’s Kingdom and his righteousness.

I really do love manger scenes. I keep mine up all year round. However, the romanticized perfect picture of what Mary and Joseph lived through is not real and can get us thinking that real life, God’s holy calling and purposes are somehow two completely separate things that can’t exist together. It’s not true. Mary and Joseph were very real people who also struggled to live and enjoy their lives and family while they obeyed God, and joined in the fight for billions of souls.

So next time you look at a manger scene, imagine a little dirt on the floor, a look of exhaustion on Mary’s face and a real life struggle in Joseph’s mind, and feel encouraged—you’re in good company!