God is the Inventor and Creator of Life

I’ve already talked a lot about learning, growing, responsibility, and other serious things. Although our kids’ spiritual life isn’t something we should take lightly, we can get so wrapped up in the seriousness of it all that we end up painting God as a sour-faced old schoolmarm who demands that we get serious, sit quietly, and do only what we’re told to do. That’s why this first aspect of God’s character is so critically important and why I put if first.

God invented:

• beauty
• joy
• happiness
• humor
• laughter Read more

It’s the economy, mom and dad

Listening to all the news about economy lately has got me thinking about an old friend. Anyone remember the best-seller, ‘The Coming Economic Earthquake’? One Amazon review, written last month, says this about the book, “This book clearly outlines why the recession is here and it was written in 1991 predicting it.”

I had the pleasure of knowing Larry Burkett and being able to call him my friend for several years before he left us to be with our Lord. He was a wonderful person, a faithful friend and an awesome man of God. He studied the Bible and understood perhaps better than anyone what God’s Word says and teaches about money.

I met Larry shortly after he wrote ‘The Coming Economic Earthquake’ and although I didn’t understand all of what he was saying about where the economy was going, we talked about something that was near to my heart. Him and his son Allen Burkett Jr. wanted to help parents teach their kids Biblical financial principles so that Christians and the Church in the generations to come could stand strong during tough times.

Larry showed me the conclusions of a nation wide survey that tested the financial IQ of high school seniors. The director of the report summed up the results by saying that our kids were graduating financially illiterate. He also shared with me statistics that showed that 85% of young couples who divorce site financial issues as the reason for their marital breakdown. That discussion led to Larry and I co-writing the book ‘Financial Parenting.’ I also went on to work with both Larry Sr. and Jr. to develop many resources that help parents teach their children financial principles.

The Bible tells us that as parents we are to bring our children up in the instruction of the Lord. The Bible doesn’t just teach us about God, love and salvation. Moses, Solomon, Jesus, Paul and others were all used by God’s Spirit to teach us about stewardship and proper money management. It’s our job as parents to safeguard our children’s future by intentionally bringing them up in these truths.

I don’t know if the ‘Economic Earthquake’ as Larry saw it is here yet but I do know that if we want our kids to survive financially, now and in the future, we need to spend some time teaching them what God’s Word says about money.

The Coming Economic Earthquake, Financial Parenting and the other resources we developed for kids have been selling well and helping families for years but perhaps they are even more relevant and more important now.

Although Larry Burkett is no longer with us, every book he wrote was based on God’s Word and therefore timeless and very relevant today. I highly recommend the following books and any other’s with my friend’s name on them.

            

 

 

(RICK OSBORNE / Christian Author, Speaker & Bible Teacher)

Romancing your family

During the worship service in church we sang a song from Psalms 84. When I sang David’s words, “better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere,” it struck me that David romanced God. He sang to him, he danced before him, he yearned to be in his presence, he wrote many psalms pouring out his heart and feelings towards him and he showed him his love with extravagant displays of adventurous obedience.

After having that thought, my mind jumped immediately to the same question that yours just did, “Can someone romance God? Isn’t romance reserved as a wonderful dance between a man and a woman?” So I looked up the word romance. While it is true that the word romance has, for the most part, come to refer to the expression of love between lovers, its origin and breath of meaning reveals other possibilities of use for this powerful word.

The word originally referred to a type of popular stories that were written in the Roman language; fanciful stories of extravagant and surprising adventures, featuring heroes and heroines, stories that carried their readers away. A romance is a story. It seems that over time the word began to be used of the romance or the adventurous love story between a man and a woman. Unfortunately, for many of us, the word has merely come to mean taking our significant other out for a dinner or buying them flowers once in awhile. However, what it should mean to us, is to intentionally weave and build your love relationship into a wonderful lifelong tale of expressed love and shared adventure.

Knowing this and seeing that the word’s definition is not just confined to the love between a man and a woman, I rethought David. His whole life story was a romance, full of adventure and all built on the foundation of his love for God and his expression of that love. David’s life was a romance with God.

Wow! I started thinking right away of how I could romance God. Sing him a song, write him a poem, stop more often to thank him and find more ways to demonstrate my love; unexpected, not required, from-the-heart, just-because-I-love-him ways. I want to intentionally build a love story, an unexpected romance between God and myself.

Now stay with me because my musings took me one step further. Jesus said that when we express our love to others, giving to them, caring for them and helping them, that he takes it as if we were expressing our love for him (Matthew 25:45). One way we can romance God is by loving and serving those around us.

When I think of romancing my wife (and now God as well) I look for thoughtful and unexpected ways to surprise with an expression of my love. These expressions begin to build our story or romance.

So one way to romance God is to look for unexpected ways to surprise those around us with expressions of our love for them. I’m calling it ‘Romancing your family.’ Here’s how; stop at the store and pick up your kid’s favorite chocolate bar, hug them when they walk by, write them a nice note, sit down beside them and be interested in what they’re doing or tell them something you love about them etc. Every thoughtful and unexpected expression of your love will build your relationships and begin weaving a wonderful story out of each of them.

My wife has called me a romantic but I want to take this to a whole new level. As I live my life romancing God directly and by loving others, my prayer is that God would weave each effort together so that one day the story of my life can be looked at like David’s and called a romance.

What can you do today to romance God by surprising each member of your family with an unexpected expression of your love?

For more quick and easy parenting tips for bringing change to your family, we recommend “Parenting at the Speed of Life”

(RICK OSBORNE / Christian Author, Speaker & Bible Teacher)

Don’t air the family’s dirty laundry

Do you remember your parents telling you to not air your family’s dirty laundry? It’s a metaphor which apparently can be traced back to Napolean. The idea being that you shouldn’t do laundry in public (eg hang clothes on a line to dry) that would reveal intimate details of your life and you also shouldn’t tell others about the troubles and private things that happen in your family.

I remember hearing this saying when I was young and my Granny was still alive. I remember wondering why (if this saying were true as a fact as well as a metaphor) she would hang her unmentionables on our clothes line when she visited. Now I should mention that my Gran was a wonderful lady but she was a very large woman and her private garments would attract attention. However, for some reason she seemed oblivious to this fact.

I’m telling this story because I believe that somehow, somewhere along the way, we’ve adopted the idea that what happens behind closed family doors is no one’s business but our own. Which has again somehow led to the idea that we are free to behave in ways in our homes that we would not act in public.

Although I’ve seen this in many Christian homes, it is not God’s idea of how a Christian home should function. Being a Christian is about who we are and who we’re becoming, it’s not just about what we believe. As we submit our lives to God, he by his grace and the work of the Holy Spirit begins (and never stops) to change our hearts and that change should be reflected in our behavior. The first place that our changed behavior should show up is in our closest relationships – in our family relationships.

The Apostle Paul wrote these words. “Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.” (1 Timothy 5:1, 2)

Notice that Paul assumes that our best behavior would be used on our family members and he therefore exhorts Timothy (and us) to treat other Christians how we treat our family. Would it go over well if you treated the people at church the same way you’ve allowed yourself to treat your spouse and/or children from time to time in the privacy of your own home?

In the same letter to Timothy, Paul outlines the qualifications for leaders in the church and reveals that what goes on at home either qualifies or disqualifies you for leadership. Would others question your ability to minister to others if they saw a video (taken secretly) of you at home?

The only Biblical application I can see for ‘Don’t air our family’s dirty laundry’ is that we shouldn’t gossip about our family members or maliciously share their mistakes with others. Our homes should be a safe place to grow and make mistakes but it was never meant to be a place where we can behave badly because we’ve been led to believe that a Las Vegas like slogan applies, ‘what happens at home stays at home’.

Try this, next time you’re reading the Bible, with each instruction ask yourself “Am I living this at home?” If you’re not, stop and pray and ask for God’s help. Also start checking your home behavior, if you’re about to scream or get unreasonable stop and think if you’d speak that way to your pastor. If you’re doing something that you wouldn’t want to talk about Sunday morning then think about why you’d even consider behaving that way in front of the ones you love the most.

Perhaps my Granny knew this to be true and was reversing the metaphor when she hung out her large unmentionables to dry. Or perhaps she just wanted dry unmentionables. I’ll ask her when I get to heaven.

For more practical and Biblical Christian Parenting ideas we recommend the Christian resource, ‘Teaching Kids About God’.

 

 

 

 

(RICK OSBORNE / Christian Author, Speaker & Bible Teacher)

How to get your kids to listen

In the very beginning of creation God announced that it wasn’t good for man to be alone. That announcement led to the first marriage, the first family, the first friends and the first community.

God created us to function in and be blessed by relationships. Not only in relationships with others but also in a relationship with him.

Jesus stated that the two greatest commandments were to love God and also to love others. Since God is love and therefore void of selfishness, his two greatest commandments should carry with them the greatest secrets of an awesome life and they do. Having a wonderful growing relationship with God and wonderful growing relationships with others is truly the biggest key to an awesome life. Loving and being loved. Read more

The really important parenting task that most of us miss (part 2)

HOW TO RAISE GREAT PARENTS

In my last post, we talked about how God’s original parent training program was that one generation teach the next how to parent God’s way. It’s our job as parents to not only learn how to parent God’s way and to do it effectively but also to teach our children how to be a parent while we are parenting them.

This sounds more daunting then it actually is. In reality, parenting while teaching to parent is the easiest and most effective way of parenting.

When we send our children to school, they go knowing that they need to go through the learning process and do well so that one day they’ll graduate. They know because we tell them. From there we encourage them by telling them that great marks lead to better post secondary education options and those options can lead to better career opportunities etc. We keep them going by helping them to understand and to take on the goals as their own.

If our children think the only goal of parenting is for them to try and have fun and for us to try and stop them, they don’t see the reward in the process and our task will be difficult. However, if we talk to them not only about the benefits to their life for doing things the right way, but also about how cooperating with the parenting process and learning how it works will help make them great parents, then they’ll be able to see a bigger purpose and a greater reward.

With my kids, I’d always break it down. I’d tell them what my role as a father looked like and what I was responsible to God for. I’d also tell them what their part as a kid was before God and what the purpose or outcome of the whole parent/child relationship is meant to be.

It’s quite simple. A parent’s job is to consistently and diligently instruct train and discipline their children so that by the time they leave home they are mature Christian adults prepared to work, live, love and parent successfully on their own. Each child’s job is to cooperate with their parents in the process and do everything they can to help themselves reach that same goal.

I found that this idea of working together towards the same goal always made things easier when things went off track. Instead of locking horns with my kids over an issue (say like homework) I’d merely sit them down and talk about our mutual goal and what we both could do in this situation to work together, solve the problem and eventually reach the goal. It was always more peaceful and my kids would respond much better than they would if they thought that I was merely trying to force my agenda on them.

If both parent and child understand and agree on their roles, the process and the goal, then it’s easier to work together and the parenting process becomes more of a joy. As you do this, the parenting process also becomes transparent and your child learns how to be a parent as they are being parented.

Now I said that the parenting books, courses etc, that I write and advocate should just be a booster shot to this process. Although I believe this ‘parent raising parents’ method is God’s primary parent training program, it’s not the only Biblical process for parent training. None of us know it all and we all have different teaching styles, personality types etc. that work better with some people than others. Therefore, it’s always helpful to get outside help from other parents, grandparents, family, church community and family ministries. The Bible teaches that in our church communities, the older women should teach the younger women (Titus 2:4). In other words, those with godly wisdom and experience in the community should help in the process of preparing the next generation to take over.

Christian parenting books, classes, courses and wisdom from others are all needed but they should come along side and help a young parent who has been taught to be a great parent while being parented.

If you haven’t started doing this yet, sit down with your child or children and discuss it and then start. I think you’ll find that it makes a world of difference.

For more practical and Biblical Christian Parenting ideas we recommend the Christian resource, ‘The Spiritual Growth of Children’.

 

 
 

 

(RICK OSBORNE / Christian Author, Speaker & Bible Teacher)

The joy of parenting? You’ve got to be kidding! (part 1)

I apologize for the video. Let me be clear, I am not endorsing the product and I think the whole idea behind the video is appalling. However, the fact that this commercial was made and that people find it funny or appropriate, perfectly illustrates the point of my next few posts. Many people today believe that kids are generally horrible, that parenting is a huge thankless burden, and that having kids should be avoided. According to many statistical reports that I’ve viewed, the percentage of couples who are choosing not to have kids is increasing significantly ever year. So did God tell us to be fruitful and multiply so we could spend 20 years being miserable? Not! God meant parenting to be a joy not a burden.

I love it that the first recorded words of God to humankind are all about the joy of parenting;

God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number.” (Genesis 1:28)

Please notice that not only did God’s first recorded message to us concern children, but he stated it as a blessing not as a burden: “God BLESSED them and said…”

Recently someone told me of a couple who declared that they had decided not to have children because they enjoyed their freedom and lifestyle too much and wanted to remain selfish about it. Although I admire this couple for recognizing their shortcomings, they have their wires severely crossed. Having children and raising them God’s way is not a burden – it’s a gift and a blessing from God. If that couple knew what a blessing it could be, they would jump at the chance to have children and thereby enrich their lives. Yes, raising children is a responsibility; every blessing comes with responsibilities. Having a lot of money is a huge responsibility, but who would refuse a million dollars because of the responsibilities that come along with it?

However, if you were raised in a family that went from rags to riches and you saw the money rip your family apart and create endless pain, would your attitude towards the gift of a million dollars be different? If I am guessing correctly, most of us would say that it wasn’t the money that caused the problem but the way the people involved responded to the money.

Many young people today are shying away from having children because they themselves have seen more pain and problems in the parenting process then blessings. Yet, it’s not parenting or having kids that caused the pain and problems, it’s often no knowledge of the way that God tells us to parent and/or just uninformed parenting that is the problem.

It always amazes me how so many people will get a coach, teacher, trainer and/or take a class or course when they want to learn anything from gourmet cooking to surfing, but when it comes to parenting, they think they can do a great job without making any effort to learn how. Not to long ago a woman told me that she believed that parenting was intuitive and therefore no one needed to learn it. If this were true, there would be no bad parenting because we’d all do it well intuitively. Unfortunately, there’s more bad parenting going on then good. Some aspects of nurture are intuitive, but the vast majority of what makes a good parent needs to be learned.

We need to get a message to those who, for the pain and problems that they’ve experienced or seen, are running from having kids. Parenting can be a joy if we apply ourselves to learning and growing as a parent. A good parenting book or parenting course will do for your parenting experience what a gourmet cooking course will do for your cooking experience. When God said that children were a blessing, he was assuming that we’d be getting his help and wisdom and learning from others who had done the same.

With this post and my next few, I want to explore what the Bible says about the joy of parenting. I’m spending time on this because I’ve found that when we understand how God views parenting, it helps us to make adjustments in our actions and attitudes and sometimes it’s those adjustments that make a huge difference in how we approach parenting. I also want to equip the Body so that they can respond, and lovingly instruct those in this generation that are shying away from having children for the wrong reasons. Those who would find truth and humor in the opening video instead of error and sadness.

For more practical and Biblical Christian Parenting ideas we recommend the Christian resource, ‘What Mary and Joseph Knew About Parenting’.

(RICK OSBORNE / Christian Author, Speaker & Bible Teacher)

If it breathes, hug it

A much quoted marriage and family therapist said, “For human beings, you need two hugs a day to survive, four hugs for maintenance, six hugs to grow.” All kinds of research have been done on human touch and hugging, and the overwhelming data screams at us, “Go hug somebody!”

I have to give credit to my oldest daughter for bringing the application of “moment” parenting to our family.  She had heard the above quote, or a similar one, and set her personal daily hug-giving minimum at seven.  She also kept track of her daily-high hug score, which has, at times, reached unbelievable numbers. As a result, it’s very difficult to come near her without feeling sincerely cared for.

Because of her wonderful obsession, I made a habit out of hugging all of my children every time I passed them in the house, or whenever they came into hugging range. Don’t get me wrong; I hugged my children before, but basically only when it was called for. But now, whenever any of my children enter my personal space or my hug zone, they get hugged.

Read more

Study Shows That A Child’s Spirituality Is The Number One Factor In their Happiness

Dr. Mark Holder, a psychology professor at The University of British Columbia, led a study to determine what factors have the greatest influence on a child’s happiness. He and his team surveyed more than 300 children ages 9 to 12. The researchers also asked the parents and teachers of the children to rate their happiness.

The result? In Dr. Holder’s own words, “The more spiritual the children were, the happier they were.”

Perhaps you’re thinking, “That’s great. We take our children to church and read Bible stories to them”. Yes, that is helpful but it’s not what the survey was focused on. In fact, the Doctor said that religious activities such as going to church didn’t seem to make a difference in a child’s happiness level.

Read more

It is not enough to hate hatred

This is the seventh and final post in the series: “What does the Bible say about sibling rivalry and how can I get my kids to get along?”

We started out this sibling rivalry series by establishing that what the world says is normal in family relationships, is not what God wants for Christian families.

The world says that sibling rivalry, rebellious teenagers, kids and parents not getting along and family fighting are all part of normal family life.

However, Jesus himself said that the two greatest commands were to love God and to love others and that all of God’s law is summed up in these two commands. Christian love is a foundation of our Faith and teaching it, is a core Christian parenting skill. Read more

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