Home alone moments

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was flying into Chicago on United Airlines shortly after they had completed their new terminal. The captain welcomed us to Chicago and “The New Terminal of Tomorrow.” He went on to explain that everyone who’s tried to catch a connecting flight out of there understands why it’s really called “The Terminal of Tomorrow” – because you might not get on your connecting flight till tomorrow!

I’ve often waited in the Chicago airport.  It’s a very busy place and reminds me of my home: children’s parties, sleepovers, friends coming and going, neighbors calling, extended family dropping by. And there are the departures. The car just doesn’t stop. There are youth groups, lessons of all sorts, sports, school, church, errands to run, and children’s friends to pick up or drive home. Sound familiar?  In the middle of all the flights in and out, once in a while I find a wonderful parenting moment with one of my fellow travelers. Read more

It’s the economy, mom and dad

Listening to all the news about economy lately has got me thinking about an old friend. Anyone remember the best-seller, ‘The Coming Economic Earthquake’? One Amazon review, written last month, says this about the book, “This book clearly outlines why the recession is here and it was written in 1991 predicting it.”

I had the pleasure of knowing Larry Burkett and being able to call him my friend for several years before he left us to be with our Lord. He was a wonderful person, a faithful friend and an awesome man of God. He studied the Bible and understood perhaps better than anyone what God’s Word says and teaches about money.

I met Larry shortly after he wrote ‘The Coming Economic Earthquake’ and although I didn’t understand all of what he was saying about where the economy was going, we talked about something that was near to my heart. Him and his son Allen Burkett Jr. wanted to help parents teach their kids Biblical financial principles so that Christians and the Church in the generations to come could stand strong during tough times.

Larry showed me the conclusions of a nation wide survey that tested the financial IQ of high school seniors. The director of the report summed up the results by saying that our kids were graduating financially illiterate. He also shared with me statistics that showed that 85% of young couples who divorce site financial issues as the reason for their marital breakdown. That discussion led to Larry and I co-writing the book ‘Financial Parenting.’ I also went on to work with both Larry Sr. and Jr. to develop many resources that help parents teach their children financial principles.

The Bible tells us that as parents we are to bring our children up in the instruction of the Lord. The Bible doesn’t just teach us about God, love and salvation. Moses, Solomon, Jesus, Paul and others were all used by God’s Spirit to teach us about stewardship and proper money management. It’s our job as parents to safeguard our children’s future by intentionally bringing them up in these truths.

I don’t know if the ‘Economic Earthquake’ as Larry saw it is here yet but I do know that if we want our kids to survive financially, now and in the future, we need to spend some time teaching them what God’s Word says about money.

The Coming Economic Earthquake, Financial Parenting and the other resources we developed for kids have been selling well and helping families for years but perhaps they are even more relevant and more important now.

Although Larry Burkett is no longer with us, every book he wrote was based on God’s Word and therefore timeless and very relevant today. I highly recommend the following books and any other’s with my friend’s name on them.

            

 

 

(RICK OSBORNE / Christian Author, Speaker & Bible Teacher)

Romancing your family

During the worship service in church we sang a song from Psalms 84. When I sang David’s words, “better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere,” it struck me that David romanced God. He sang to him, he danced before him, he yearned to be in his presence, he wrote many psalms pouring out his heart and feelings towards him and he showed him his love with extravagant displays of adventurous obedience.

After having that thought, my mind jumped immediately to the same question that yours just did, “Can someone romance God? Isn’t romance reserved as a wonderful dance between a man and a woman?” So I looked up the word romance. While it is true that the word romance has, for the most part, come to refer to the expression of love between lovers, its origin and breath of meaning reveals other possibilities of use for this powerful word.

The word originally referred to a type of popular stories that were written in the Roman language; fanciful stories of extravagant and surprising adventures, featuring heroes and heroines, stories that carried their readers away. A romance is a story. It seems that over time the word began to be used of the romance or the adventurous love story between a man and a woman. Unfortunately, for many of us, the word has merely come to mean taking our significant other out for a dinner or buying them flowers once in awhile. However, what it should mean to us, is to intentionally weave and build your love relationship into a wonderful lifelong tale of expressed love and shared adventure.

Knowing this and seeing that the word’s definition is not just confined to the love between a man and a woman, I rethought David. His whole life story was a romance, full of adventure and all built on the foundation of his love for God and his expression of that love. David’s life was a romance with God.

Wow! I started thinking right away of how I could romance God. Sing him a song, write him a poem, stop more often to thank him and find more ways to demonstrate my love; unexpected, not required, from-the-heart, just-because-I-love-him ways. I want to intentionally build a love story, an unexpected romance between God and myself.

Now stay with me because my musings took me one step further. Jesus said that when we express our love to others, giving to them, caring for them and helping them, that he takes it as if we were expressing our love for him (Matthew 25:45). One way we can romance God is by loving and serving those around us.

When I think of romancing my wife (and now God as well) I look for thoughtful and unexpected ways to surprise with an expression of my love. These expressions begin to build our story or romance.

So one way to romance God is to look for unexpected ways to surprise those around us with expressions of our love for them. I’m calling it ‘Romancing your family.’ Here’s how; stop at the store and pick up your kid’s favorite chocolate bar, hug them when they walk by, write them a nice note, sit down beside them and be interested in what they’re doing or tell them something you love about them etc. Every thoughtful and unexpected expression of your love will build your relationships and begin weaving a wonderful story out of each of them.

My wife has called me a romantic but I want to take this to a whole new level. As I live my life romancing God directly and by loving others, my prayer is that God would weave each effort together so that one day the story of my life can be looked at like David’s and called a romance.

What can you do today to romance God by surprising each member of your family with an unexpected expression of your love?

For more quick and easy parenting tips for bringing change to your family, we recommend “Parenting at the Speed of Life”

(RICK OSBORNE / Christian Author, Speaker & Bible Teacher)

The joy of parenting? How to bring the joy back (part 3)

Throughout the Bible, children are considered to be a gift from God and a blessing to the parents who receive them.

Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. (Psalm 127:3)

Scripture contains many prayers and songs thanking God for the blessing of children, including those of Sarah, Hannah, and Mary. Mary had heard the stories of Sarah and Hannah and had learned that children are an awesome gift and a blessing.

Mary said: “My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior.” (Luke 1:46-47)

If you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop, here it comes. Sometimes parenting can seem downright overwhelming. Children need constant care, training, and discipline, and none of us is perfectly up to the task. So at times we feel tempted to consider the gift of children as anything but a blessing. I once heard a mother say to her young teenager (in jest of course), “Watch it, buster! I brought you into this world and I can take you back out again!” That about sums up the way we sometimes feel, doesn’t it?

Unfortunately, sometimes it goes beyond having a bad day or a frustrating moment. Many parents firmly believe that parenting is a burden, that children are rebels and mischief-makers, that teenagers and adults don’t get along, and that siblings would all but kill each other if left alone. I’ve heard parents complain that their kids won’t listen, won’t help, don’t care, and are just huge pains in their backsides. When we believe these things, we lower the bar of expectation and learn to live with substandard behavior instead of looking to God for help and solutions and choosing to believe God when he calls children a blessing. If God gave children to you as a blessing and considers them a blessing, then he’s already prepared to give you every thing you need to experience them as a blessing.

When we choose to believe what God says about our children being a blessing, we raise the bar and look for ways to learn how to resolve conflict, restore relationships, and parent God’s way. And eventually we see peace return to our households.

If you feel worn out and at the end of your rope with your children, stop and pray right now. Give your situation to God and ask him for help, wisdom, and workable solutions. Look up advice online, read a parenting book and/or ask for help from a parent who you’ve witnessed doing a great job. Ask God to return the atmosphere of his blessing to your household and children. Once you’ve done that, start thanking him (and keep doing it daily) for your children, trusting him that he’s heard your prayer, that he’s helping you learn and grow, and that he’s turning things around.

Don’t expect things to get perfect overnight, but continue to stay focused on God’s affirmation that being a parent is a gift and a blessing. Know that if he calls parenting a blessing, then he’ll help get your family to the place where it is. Then watch him slowly but surely return the joy of parenting.

And even if our household usually reflects God’s blessing, we can still all take a page out of Sarah’s book. When things start to slide, remember to check your perspective, laugh, and remind God that he called this whole parenting thing a blessing. Then ask him for the wisdom, grace, and help to cause your experience to match his statement.

Please help spread the word to the next generation. Children are a blessing from God but so is gardening/farming and money. But as with all blessings we need to apply ourselves to learning how to garden/farm, manage our money and parent properly if we want any of these blessings to be a success and a joy.

For more practical and Biblical Christian Parenting ideas we recommend the Christian resource, ‘What Mary and Joseph Knew About Parenting’.

(RICK OSBORNE / Christian Author, Speaker & Bible Teacher)

If it breathes, hug it

A much quoted marriage and family therapist said, “For human beings, you need two hugs a day to survive, four hugs for maintenance, six hugs to grow.” All kinds of research have been done on human touch and hugging, and the overwhelming data screams at us, “Go hug somebody!”

I have to give credit to my oldest daughter for bringing the application of “moment” parenting to our family.  She had heard the above quote, or a similar one, and set her personal daily hug-giving minimum at seven.  She also kept track of her daily-high hug score, which has, at times, reached unbelievable numbers. As a result, it’s very difficult to come near her without feeling sincerely cared for.

Because of her wonderful obsession, I made a habit out of hugging all of my children every time I passed them in the house, or whenever they came into hugging range. Don’t get me wrong; I hugged my children before, but basically only when it was called for. But now, whenever any of my children enter my personal space or my hug zone, they get hugged.

Read more

Manner moments

“That wasn’t a polite thing to say.” “Say ‘please.’ ” “Don’t forget your thank you’s!” “And what do you say?” “We don’t do that at the table!”

There are points in our parenting career when it seems like every second or third sentence gets invested in the quest for mannerly children. We’ve all been embarrassed (and we have the stories!) by our children while they were learning manners. We’ve also all been proud when they got it right and some stranger has commented on what polite children we have. Have you ever had the tables, or the table manners, turned on you? I have.

When my children were younger, I spent time teaching them that kindness in intent and tone should be the rule that governs all of our speech. To remind them when their speech to one of their siblings strayed from the kindness rule, I would gently but pointedly add a storybook quote to the end of their speech. After they fired off, I’d instantly say, “-she [or he] said in a kind and gentle voice.”

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What does the Bible say about sibling rivalry and how can I get my kids to get along? (Part 5)

This blog contains a key Christian Parenting principle that I guarantee (if employed) will go a long way to ending sibling rivalry and establishing your home sweet home.

What would you say are two things that are most often at the core of a sibling battle? Let me give you a few whining and complaining hints, “Dad, he won’t share,” Mom, she’s wearing my clothes again.” And next, “She hit me” and “He won’t leave me alone.”

There are many answers to the question I posed but most of us would agree that fighting over things and unwanted physical contact are huge aggravators in sibling relationships.

Jesus taught what has now become known as the Golden Rule, treat others the way that you would like to be treated. (Matt 7:12)

Read more

What does the Bible say about sibling rivalry and how can I get my kids to get along? (Part 3)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After we all agreed (in our family meeting) that one of our key home values was to leave strife behind, the Christian parenting work started. 

Notice that on this parenting website we are not afraid to call parenting ‘work.’

I have actually found something of a parenting skills paradox in the concept of parental work. Although what seems to be lazy parenting will get you nowhere, working hard at it will give you the time and peace to be lazy.

Let me explain. Armchair parenting is a parenting style that doesn’t work; parenting is a participation sport. It is always tempting to stay seated in my favorite chair (or continue doing whatever I was doing) and fling instructions, commands and threats about the house aimed at one child, or many, (the all-in-one fling) but that is not effective parenting.

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How can I know which children’s bible is the best one for my child? (ages 8-12)

Before I make some suggestions, let me briefly blog about why getting the right Bible for your children in this age group is so incredibly important.
Once we are Christians, the foundation for building our relationship with God is regular time in the Bible and in prayer. Yet how many of us as adults, struggle with this?

My daughter was seventeen when she told me that her and several Christian friends were talking about their time with God and most of them said that they had a real struggle with it. My daughter went on to say that she had not realized that people struggled with this.

If our children are guided through the process of developing a relationship with God progressively, from sitting on our knee right up to doing it on their own, they establish a habit and a relationship that is easy to maintain and difficult to walk away from.

Many Christian parents (dad, mom or both together) do a great job of this in the early years when we are reading Bible Stories and saying prayers with our children. Where the process usually falls apart is when our children become too old for Bible Stories and too old for Sunday School.

Many of us flounder to find a whole text children’s Bible for our children and kind of hope that they will read it and pray on their own.

Unfortunately we find out really quickly that this approach does not work. It is kind of like saying to your child, “Well you’ve had a few years at school now. You know how to learn, so just get on the internet and work your way through to graduation on your own.”

Our children must be taught, trained, encouraged to crawl, walk and then run in every area of learning.
So getting down to it, here are some things to remember and some practical Christian parenting advice on how to move your child from Bible Stories to reading a whole text Bible on their own.

• Include your child in on the growth process. When my children were quite young, I started to tell them regularly that our bedtime devotions together was their time with God. I was helping them learn so that they could eventually do it on their own. The children understood that the activity was about them learning, (we were not just doing it to get it done) and that it was their time to connect with God.  Eventually they would be responsible for this discipline on their own and for the rest of their lives. It is much easier to teach when the student understands the goal and the process. Talk with your child about graduating from Bible Story time and agree on the timing and process.
• Don’t just leave them on their own. As with any transition in life, the more gradual it is the more comfortable and successful the transition will be. You and your child may decide to continue reading and praying together for a while but with a full text Bible instead of a Bible storybook. (This is a good time for you to help them better understand how their Bible is put together and how to read it.) You may want to choose a certain book like one of the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke or John) or Genesis and read through it together. Then they could read one on their own and alternate. You could choose to read together and have them say their prayers on their own or vice versa. When they are ready to do it all on their own, help them set aside a regular time for doing it. Help them be consistent and follow up with them to make sure they have done it. Kind of like you do to make sure they are brushing their teeth. (Remember encouragement is more effective then harassing.) Be aware that if you have had quality time together at night for a while, some kids may be sensitive to losing that. Continue to put some time aside to talk with them and spend a little time together before sending them off to have their time with God. One of the things you can talk about is your time with God, what you are reading and/or what Bible study you are doing and what you are praying about. Ask what you can pray for them and tell them what they can pray for you.
• Set them up with the Bible and materials that will help them be successful. First and foremost choose a modern translation that your child will understand. Next a good strategy is to choose a companion book or devotional guide that will help your child get into and go through their Bible. This helps a ton because picking up the devotional book first is less intimidating and a little more appealing. Be careful though that you choose a book that directs them to their Bibles or the book is the only thing that will get read. When you first get the book and the Bible, look through them together and talk to your child about how to use the materials. Finally once you have narrowed your choices down to a few good Bibles and their companion books, let your child in on the decision. When we start to transfer any responsibility to our children, we should also start to transfer the right to make related decisions.

Here are some Bibles and companion books that I recommend for helping you and your child make the transfer successfully. They are all best selling Christian resources that work well together and are designed for this age group.

The ‘Kids Quest Bible’ works well with the ‘Amazing Questions Kids Ask About…’ series.

      

 

 

 

If you have boys I would highly recommend ‘The 2:52 Boys Bible’ along with the books from the 2:52 nonfiction series.

        

 

 

 

If you already have a Bible for your child or they choose another, I would recommend Focus On The Family’s ‘My Time With God, 150 Ways To Start Your Own Quiet Time.’

 

 

 

 

(RICK OSBORNE / Christian Author, Speaker & Bible Teacher)