Does God Send Disaster

According to Wikipedia ‘Act of God’ is a legal term for events outside of human control, such as sudden floods or other natural disasters, for which no one can be held responsible. In other words, if we don’t understand it and/or we can’t find any humans to blame for it, then God must have done it.

Although the logic is highly flawed, the truth is when we hear that yet another disaster has happened, most of us wonder what part, if any, God had in it. Did he do it? Did he allow it? Why didn’t he prevent it? People in the media know that we wonder. Ever notice that when disaster strikes and some preacher somewhere seems to say, “God did it” it becomes front page news.

If we wonder, then what do we say to our children when they sit with us and see the TV images of rescue workers pulling damaged or dead humans from the aftermath? What do we say when they hear the report that Reverend so-and-so said God sent the killing blow? Read more

Parent’s Timeout

Much of the time reading email forwards is just a waste of time. I find that my inbox fills up with them until I have to take an hour or  two to scan through them. The reason that I eventually put in the time is, because every once in awhile, I find a few that are hilarious and/or inspiring and worth sharing with others. Here’s one such email forward that I’d like to share with you:

The Neighbor’s Dog

An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard; I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of.

He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head; he then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep.

An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.

The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour. This continued off and on for several weeks.

Curious, I pinned a note to his collar:  ’I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.’

The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar: ‘He lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3 – he’s trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?’

Unfortunately, as with most email forwards, this came to me with no links or author credits so I don’t know where it came from or even if it actually happened. However, it’s hilarious, and most of us can see it happening and can identify with it.

Some families give their kids ‘timeouts’ when they’re misbehaving. Many times the misbehaving comes at times when the child is tired, hungry, frustrated, etc. and the time-out really just serves to settle them down so that they can be talked to and dealt with rationally.

This email forward reminded me that parents get tired and frustrated from time to time and also need a timeout. It’s when we push ourselves past our own strength and run ahead parenting, even when we’re tired and/or frustrated, that we end up misbehaving towards or in front of our children. Every parent needs an exit strategy. Kind of like a fire escape plan so that you can get a little rest when you feel the need before you reach the end of your rope and parent badly. Here are some ideas:

• If you’re a full time, at home parent, and your spouse has an outside job, arrange for your spouse to take the kids for a hour when they get home to let you escape to what ever relaxes you (a bath, exercise, a prayer walk, etc.).
• If your kids have nap times, coordinate the naps to happen all at once. Even kids who are older can have a ‘quiet time’ in their room while their younger siblings are napping. Take some of this time and do something that relaxes you. Resist the temptation to spend all of this time doing chores. You being rested for your kids is more important.
• If your kids take well to the stroller or riding in the car, get out and take a walk or a drive. Don’t have an agenda, just walk and/or drive to relax and maybe see some nice scenery.
• Make time each evening, after all the kids are bedded down, to do something that relaxes you, reading, praying, chatting with friends online etc. Identify which activities recharge you and spend even a small amount of time recharging.
• Plan a bigger timeout at least once a week. Get a babysitter and get out and about doing something you enjoy.

What do you do to make sure that your batteries are recharged so that you can parent calmly and in control? Leave your comments, they could be helpful to another parent. We may not be able to follow our dog to the neighbor’s house, but with a little bit of planning we can keep ourselves rested and ready to go.

(If you know where the email forward originated, please let me know so that I can give proper credit.)

Answers To Your Kid’s Prayers

(photo by vaniadasilva)

The best way to explain to our children how God answers or doesn’t answer their prayers is to draw a simple parallel between their asking us for things and their asking God for things.

There are basically three answers children can anticipate when asking parents for something: yes, which may come with some stipulation or adjustment to the original request; no, which is usually accompanied by one or more good reason; and maybe, the category that most parental responses fall into.

• Our children make certain requests of us with the expectation of getting a yes answer – requests for things that they basically already know our will on. For instance, if we always let them have friends over on the weekend, let them watch a certain television show, allow them to have a snack at a certain time, or take them out for lunch after church, they’d anticipate a yes. Read more

Disciple Like Jesus

Here’s another great site with the same mission we have, helping parents disciple their children. The video on the home page is a MUST view. It really shows how precious the gift of life is and how it should be cherished. Also, after viewing it, ask yourself what would be the result if every Christian parent put that much love and effort into their children’s spiritual growth. While you’re thinking about that, check out the article under the heading ‘What’s at Stake.’

www.disciplelikejesus.com

Encouragement From the Real Manger Scene

Don’t you adore the beauty of a manger scene: Mother, husband and child all looking so incredibly serene, backlit by the luminous soft glow of lamplight. Comfortably cuddled in a rustic, but poetically picture-perfect stable. Wholly contented, well-groomed farm animals all gazing on in rapt attention alongside a reverent audience of admiring onlookers. Everyone dressed in their finest garments, all colored with the same delicate and matching peaceful pastel colors. It’s all so perfect and romantic!

If you’ve already detected a gentle note of sarcasm, you need to hear that I know that these beautiful scenes are the work of well meaning and talented artists, who are merely trying to capture the wonder of this amazing moment.

However, most of us know that the wise men didn’t arrive until close to two years later, the stable was likely a not so picture-perfect cave cut into the hillside, the shepherds had just run from the fields and were very possibly not wearing their temple-best, and the animals were more than probably smelly and not quite so attentive.

Granted, the luminous back lighting is probably accurate.

How about Mom and Dad? Although I’m sure that Mary and Joseph were elated by the confirmations that God sent through the local visitors and in awe of their first born child, was everything parent-perfect in Bethlehem? First you have to remember that Mary and Joseph were normal people and regular parents who struggled with many of the same issues that we struggle with.

Now, if you can, put aside the traditional imagery and try to imagine yourself in Mary and Joseph’s sandals, and see if you can get an idea of what things were really like for these new parents. Honestly ask yourself, what would you be going through and feeling if this had been you.

Although accepting, Mary and Joseph were probably struggling with the fact that their childhood visions of marriage, family and happily-ever-after had been irretrievably altered by God’s agenda for the planet. Mary was close to full term and in that stage where, with everything inside her, she wanted the baby to be outside of her. They probably feared for the lives of Mary and the baby because there were some who thought that Mary should be stoned because her baby was conceived out of wedlock. Also, their story about the virgin birth was most likely met with skepticism even amongst those who knew them, which probably made them feel largely alone.

Then according to the decree of a government that their people were oppressed by, they had to hop on a donkey, possibly putting their new family in jeopardy and make a long trip through the hot desert to go be involved in a census—and who likes those things!

When they finally reached this small, seedy town (according to history, it wasn’t the nicest place to be) far, far away, they would have been feeling the heat, stress and exhaustion from the journey. On top of all that, they were very likely aware that their baby would soon make an appearance and they couldn’t find a vacancy anywhere. (Stop, are you seriously imagining what you’d be going through and what this real mom and dad would be feeling or have you slipped back into the romanticized traditions? Work with me here.)

You’re feeling alone and probably outcast. You’re hot, smelly and tired from a long road trip on a donkey that you did not want to take. Your baby is about to arrive, your probably in need of some home cooked food, and you’re looking forward to a comfortable Inn. Instead, you’re ushered into a cave where the locals bed down their animals. You get settled in, probably hoping that this is all very temporary, and then go into labor. To your dismay, there’s nowhere else to go and there’s no one around to help with the delivery. So your husband is elected in the heat of the moment to deliver your child in the modern-day equivalent of a barn.

Finally the baby arrives. You’re exhausted and ready for some alone time with your beautiful child. You’re also ready for a week’s worth of sleep, hopefully a bath and just then a crowd of sweaty shepherds show up for a visit!

Mary and Joseph were regular people and normal parents. Although I don’t see much of a lesson in the traditional romanticized manger scene, I see a wonderful example for parents today in the reality of what probably happened.

Let me give you a little background. Genesis records that when God first made everything he said it was good. In the beginning, before sin, it was all about God’s blessings, loving him and loving others, marriage, children, eating, working, living and laughing. God created life for us and created within us the matching desire for all of the wonderful joys of this life.

Unfortunately, the record of Genesis didn’t leave us there. Adam and Eve disobeyed God and brought sin and its devastating effects into all of our hearts and lives and into this world.

Jesus repaired what Adam and Eve broke. He gave his life so that everyone of us would again have the opportunity to have our sins forgiven and to live in our heavenly Father’s presence and blessings. However, we still live in a fallen world full of sin and its effects and we’re living in the middle of a war for the souls of billions of our fellow humans. God’s desire is to see all men saved and that desire has been placed in our hearts by God’s Holy Spirit.

So now we live with two God given desires that can often seem to be in conflict. The desire to fully live and enjoy life, and the desire to sacrifice all of that in order to reach out to a broken world.

Jesus addressed this conflict when he called us to seek first his Kingdom and his righteousness, and then told us that all of these things (the things of life that he created for us) would be given to us as well. (Matthew 6:33) Have you ever thought of this verse in the context of parenting and family life?

Notice that he didn’t say that life, children, family etc. were to be ignored or not enjoyed, but only that his Kingdom priorities had to be put first. Which of course makes sense. If you were to live in a country at war, your first difficult priority would be to secure your country otherwise how could you and your family possibly enjoy your life.

Today as Christian people and parents, we struggle weekly with the same conflict and it can be tough to find the balance. We want our children to have a fun life and to be happy, but we don’t want them to get mixed up in the world. We’d like to think that they can enjoy all of the world’s multimedia offerings and not be adversely affected, but we know better. We all love to sleep in on the weekends, but we know that attending church is part of God’s plan for strengthening our families and preparing us for the battle. Each one of us would like to see our children with comfortable, high paying careers, but we also know that it’s God’s will for their lives that’s more important. We are regularly faced with life choices that have us choosing between what we think could give our families a better life, and what is right or what we feel God wants us to do.

Until we realize that the conflict is normal, we sometimes beat ourselves up about it and think that if we were just better Christians, we wouldn’t struggle with these issues. The truth is God wants to bless us and have us learn, laugh, love and live our lives full of his joy and presence, but we are also called to further his Kingdom and he understands that the two often seem to be in conflict.

It’s not always easy to live life or find the right balance when we live with a Wal-Mart flyer in one hand and a book on ‘How Your Family Can Help Win the World for Christ’ in the other. It’s naturally a struggle and every one of us parents (not just you) is trying to find the balance everyday!

An ideal example of this struggle is how we fight to find balance in our Christmas celebrations. In our minds, one side of the equation fights for making Christmas the most fun for our family that it can possibly be. The other side fights for meaning and reminds us of the great opportunity Christmas offers us to reach out to others with love, aid, and the Gospel message. Many of us even struggle to find a balance between time spent focused on Jesus, and time spent focused on Santa and presents. However, if we recognize that it’s normal to struggle with this because both desires are God inspired, then instead of running to one side of the boat or the other and getting our family out of balance, we work towards finding a good mix of both for our family celebrations.

Plan the times of great fun and enjoyment around the moments of meaning, sacrifice and reaching out. Nice gifts for everyone on Christmas morning, but also a family evening packing wonderful things into a shoe box for Operation Christmas Child to deliver to a poor child somewhere in the world. Enjoying your churches Christmas play, but also helping out and inviting someone who hasn’t responded to the Gospel message yet. Putting up lots of fun and beautiful decorations, but also placing a nice manger scene front and center. Serve a large turkey dinner with all the trimmings, but also inviting someone who would not have had a family Christmas dinner otherwise.

When we do these things, get our children involved, and explain why we’re doing them, it helps our children to understand the natural conflict between the joy of living, and the need to focus first on God’s Kingdom and his righteousness.

I really do love manger scenes. I keep mine up all year round. However, the romanticized perfect picture of what Mary and Joseph lived through is not real and can get us thinking that real life, God’s holy calling and purposes are somehow two completely separate things that can’t exist together. It’s not true. Mary and Joseph were very real people who also struggled to live and enjoy their lives and family while they obeyed God, and joined in the fight for billions of souls.

So next time you look at a manger scene, imagine a little dirt on the floor, a look of exhaustion on Mary’s face and a real life struggle in Joseph’s mind, and feel encouraged—you’re in good company!

Wall-E a Must-C

SYNOPSIS: After hundreds of lonely years of doing what he was built for, Wall-E (short for Waste Allocation Load Lifter Earth-Class) discovers a new purpose in life (besides collecting knick-knacks) when he meets a sleek search robot named Eve. Eve comes to realize that Wall-E has inadvertently stumbled upon the key to the planet’s future, and races back to space to report her findings to the humans (who have been eagerly awaiting word that it is safe to return home). Meanwhile, Wall-E chases Eve across the galaxy.

GENRES: Kids/Family and Animation

TIME: 1 hr. 37 minutes

RATED: G

 

OUR THOUGHTS ON THIS MOVIE

(Recommended Age Group: all ages)

We really enjoyed this movie, however after seeing the obese humans on their hover couches, a few of us were thinking that perhaps a little exercise would do us some good. Although you can glean that message from the movie, (too much couch potatoing and computer chair potatoing can lead to obesity), that’s not the message of the movie.

The movie contrasts the love relationship between two hard working robots with the humans of the future who have become so linked into entertainment, social media and gaming that they’ve all but forgotten what it’s like to have face to face interpersonal relationships. Wall-E causes a woman’s holographic computer screen to disengage and she seems to see the world around her for the first time. The same happens with a guy named John and when the two of them meet and accidentally hold hands (something the screen writers use as a wonderful symbol of personal interaction and relationship), they look like they’re discovering something foreign but wonderful.

There are some great talking point opportunities in this movie. Here are a few:

Discuss how the movie is not saying that TV, gaming and the internet are bad, it’s saying that interpersonal relationships are better. Discuss why they’re better and what kind of balance we should look for.

Wall-E, after being alone for hundreds of years, recognizes the value of another person’s company, attention and love and he’s willing to put in the effort and work it takes to get it. Discuss how valuable the relationships in our lives can be and how we need to put time, love and effort in if we really want them to be rewarding.

Jesus said that the two greatest commandments are to love God and to love others. Discuss how since God is love and therefore completely unselfish, what he tells us is always for our own good not his. Therefore, the two things that he says are most important, must hold the two greatest blessings as well. Loving growing relationships with God and others (interpersonal relationships) are truly the greatest gifts and rewards this life has to offer.

The movie is a good reminder to us parents as well. Limiting and or nagging our kids about time in front of objects with screens is perhaps not as effectual as teaching them about the wonders of relationships and encouraging them to spend more face-to-face time. If your older kids tell you that they’re doing that through the internet, let them know that that’s great, but not the same. Like Wall-E showed us, if you can’t hold the other person’s hand (connect with them person to person) it’s just not the same level of relationship.

If your kids are very young and they don’t like being moved out from in front of their screened instruments, try drawing them away with some planned relational time with you. Young children learn the value of interpersonal relationships by experiencing the joy of hanging out with their parents and receiving their attention.

This movie is a keeper and would make a great Christmas present.

The soundtrack is also amazing and a recommended purchase for great family music. Here’s what Wikipedia says about the soundtrack.

“WALL-E is the soundtrack to the film of the same name, mainly composed by Thomas Newman and released on June 24, 2008. Orchestration is credited to Carl Johnson, JAC Redford, Thomas Pasatieri, and Gary K. Thomas. Newman previously scored Finding Nemo; almost all other Pixar films have been scored by Newman’s cousin Randy. The soundtrack features excerpts from “Put On Your Sunday Clothes” and “It Only Takes a Moment” (both sung by Michael Crawford) from the Hello, Dolly! soundtrack, and “La Vie en Rose” by Louis Armstrong, as well as an original composition, “Down to Earth” by Peter Gabriel. Also featured are the classical pieces “Also Sprach Zarathustra” and “The Blue Danube”, famous by their appearance on the soundtrack of 2001: A Space Odyssey. Neither Etta James’s cover of the song, At Last, nor Aquarela do Brasil which were used in the theatrical trailers appeared on the final cut of the film or the soundtrack.”

Speed Racer

SYNOPSIS: Story of Speed Racer, who’s Mach 5 vehicle can jump, go under water and clear trees. When he’s not racing, he’s battling villians with his girlfriend Trixie, kid brother Spritle and pet monkey Chim-Chim.

GENRES: Action/Adventure, Science Fiction/Fantasy and Adaptation

TIME: 2 hr. 15 minutes

RATED: PG for sequences of action, some violence, language and brief smoking.

 

 

OUR THOUGHTS ON THIS MOVIE

(Recommended Age Group: 10+ years)

We watched the movie ‘Speed Racer’ thinking it was a kids movie. We are very glad to announce that there were no young children present when this movie was reviewed. It is NOT a movie for kids under 10 years of age. If you watch it with your tweens, we suggest that you make mental notes as you watch and talk with them about it afterwards.

We don’t recommend this movie for children for many little things. Remember, we as Christian parents need to look beyond the surface method of using amounts of violence, nudity, scary stuff and swearing to measure its suitability. Speed Racer contains many little scenes and comments that promote non Biblical ideals and taken together they add up to trouble. For example the youngest boy in the movie is constantly doing what he wants to do without regard to what he’s told. The writer’s portrait this behavior as normal and cute and make the dad look bad for expecting him to actually obey.

We’d normally go further and provide you with ‘What The Bible Says About That’ discussion topics for you to use with your children but since we’re recommending you pass on this one for the kids we’re going to take this another direction.

We actually will recommend this movie to you, parents and young people who will one day become parents. Why? Well first of all, for those of us who are old enough to enjoy a movie while ignoring Hollywood’s lack of Biblical morality and Christian world view, it contains a parenting lesson that we’d like to push a little further.

In the movie the dad, played by John Goodman, has three sons all born about eight years apart. When his oldest son is basically an adult, he makes a decision about his life that dad really opposes. When dad realizes that he is no longer in control and that the son is set on this particular course, dad makes a classic mistake in a last ditch effort to turn things around. He basically says, “If you walk out that door, don’t ever come back.” Ouch!

We won’t tell you what happens (no spoilers here) but the results of dad’s ultimatum are disastrous and he does learn his lesson (in a well scripted way) before the end of the movie.

When our children are young they need discipline, direction, training and consistent boundaries that are all (for the sake of our children) loving but authoritative. When our children become teenagers, our role as parents must change. We need to gradually stop being authoritative and progressively (as they prove responsible) hand our children the control of their own lives. If we do it right, by the time they are ready to leave home, we should be in a supportive and advisory role only.

We may claim that we would never give our child such an ultimatum, but if we seek to control them as oppose to guide them, when they get to an age where they need us to help them make their own decisions, the result is the same. We will push them away from us.

The Bible teaches that children must “leave their parents” and become responsible adults in their own right. We must let go. The best way to accomplish this is to do it very gradually helping our children to mature and take over small bits of responsibility at a time. The process should start when they’re tweens and hopefully be complete before they leave home.

Continuing to use an authoritative parenting method on teenagers will always result in head butting and possibly, in the end, a parting of ways.

Jesus said, “I will never leave you or forsake you.” Once we are God’s children, our Heavenly Father commits to walk with us and help us grow up no matter what. God will never give us an ultimatum that makes us reject him. Love never gives up on someone. So even if we find ourselves at odds with or even extremely against something our older teens or young adults are choosing, shutting them out and attempting to use our affections as a method of controlling them will not work and is not right.

We need to follow God’s loving example and never withhold our love and support. We may need to gently make it clear that we don’t agree and explain why but then move on to let them know that we love them and will always be there for them no matter what.

Enjoy the movie and watch what happens to dear old dad in the end. If you’ve seen the movie then post a comment, if not come back and do it after you’ve seen it.

If you watch this with your tweens and teens spend some time talking about the above parenting lesson. It may be a great opportunity for both you and them to talk about the gradual shift of responsibility and authority. Your kids will always feel like they don’t have enough autonomy. Help them understand that no one gets more authority and freedom just because they want it but because they show themselves mature and responsible enough to handle it.

Study links exposure to sexual content with teen pregnancies

The RAND Health research staff conducted a study and concluded that teens who watched a high level of sexual content on television were twice as likely to experience a teen pregnancy.

As soon as this article hit the street, the media gobbled it up and it seems to be held up as some kind of break through.

While we here at Christian Parenting Daily applaud the study, the conclusions are not new. Solomon taught that we should guard our hearts with all diligence because our life will eventually reflect what we cultivated there. (Proverbs 4:23) One of the key points of Jesus’ teachings was that, who we are on the inside (our thoughts our conclusions, our beliefs) is what’s important because that’s who we are. Our behavior comes out of what’s in our hearts. (Luke 6:45) James taught that our actions are a direct result of the inner desires that we choose to cultivate. (James 1:14 – 16)

Another thing that we applaud the study for is that in it’s conclusion, it recommends that parents watch television with their children so that they can help guide them through what they see.

Here’s the short three step Christian parenting guide to helping your kids wade through the garbage constantly placed before them.

1. Limit your child’s exposure. If the television show or movie in question contains wrong ideas that they are not mature enough to navigate through and make right conclusions about, then they should not be watching it.

2. Take time to intentionally teach your children the Biblical view of sex. Make sure you don’t just tell them what to do and what not to do, but also teach them why God’s way works and the world’s doesn’t. There are a ton of helpful Christian resources out there that can help you with this.

3. As your child matures and is exposed to more, be sure that you’re there watching with them and discussing the content. In this way you help them to think through what they see and they learn to guard their own hearts with God’s truth.

You might want to discuss this study with your older kids, it’s a good way to get the conversation started or to keep it going.

Here’s the link to the Rand study.

CHRISTIAN PARENTING DAILY

God Understands

God understands. He will always listen, understand, and respond to our children, no matter what happens in their lives. God is always right there for them. He understands everything they feel and go through, and he’s always ready to encourage them to go forward, to give them wisdom, and to help them out. God is on their side.

The New Testament book of Hebrews tells us that Jesus is fully sympathetic, understanding even the toughest things we go through because he also went through them. Sometimes we forget that Jesus was once a child and then a teenager. (The Bible even records a time when his parents didn’t understand him!) Jesus had to be obedient to his parents, go to school, do chores, and grow up in a community of friends, neighbors, and family. The single incident from Jesus’ childhood included in the Bible – something that happened when he was twelve years old – seems to have been recorded to show us that Jesus had to grow up just like everyone else. Read more

Parents Movie Guide

The back of each DVD box at many movie rental places has a ‘Parent’s Guide.’ The guide generally has four categories: Sex/Nudity, Drugs/Alcohol, Violence/Scariness and Objectionable Words/Phrases. Following each category is a brief description of what could be objectionable.

The idea, of course, is to help parents judge if the movie is suitable or not. Although I appreciate having this information, it is not all I need to make a decision. As Christians, we need a few more categories like ‘The Moral of The Story’, ‘World View’ and/or perhaps ‘Worldly/Non Christian Ideas and Behavior Supported as Right and Normal.’

Take as an example the hit family flick that started Disney’s animated movie comeback, ‘The Little Mermaid’. Most parents of very young children scan the rating (also based on the above mentioned categories) and plug it in thinking that their job is done. There’s no swearing, nudity or drugs but wait, what is the movie teaching with its storyline and character development? In the original book version the Little Mermaid dies in the end and although that’s a bit of a downer, the moral of the story is abundantly clear.

In the movie version, Ariel disobeys her Father and does things she knows that she shouldn’t in order to get what she wants. Yet in the end she gets her ‘happily ever after’ and her Dad is the one who is painted with the brush of wrong doing.

Now I’m not saying don’t let your kids watch the movie but I am saying that we as Christian parents need to watch what our children are watching and talk with them about things that contradict and undermine what the Bible teaches.

So the purpose of ‘Movie Night Ideas’ on this website is to equip you with the tools and ideas you need to engage your children in meaningful conversation about the movies you watch. Sometimes we’ll take on new movies and sometimes we’ll talk about old favorites. Either way, we’ll try and be the Christian extension to the ‘Parent’s Guide’ on the back of each DVD box.

Please click on a below movie to read Christian Parenting Daily’s “Parents Movie Guide”.

Nim’s Island

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